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scottmc77 · Mar 23, 2009, 06:42 PM

I get so bored in my everyday life, I mean its good, I am married to a great woman, have great kids, good job, I race bicycles and skateboard, so life is good by mosts standards. I find myself so bored I start thinking about taking risks. I have a very high sex drive so many of these thoughts are sexual. Is emailing a person back and forth with stories and fantasies about there sex life all that bad? If there is no intention to go any further other than email for a little excitement than is it crossing the line?? :o

nikosmom · Mar 23, 2009, 06:44 PM

Is it crossing the line?- I'd say yes. Think of it this way: anything you have to hide from your spouse signals something's not right about it.

And it'd be really hard to do this continuously and not want to act on it.

Fr_Chuck · Mar 23, 2009, 06:58 PM

As long as you email your wife back and forth, no problem at all.

Beyond that, ask your wife her opinion of it. And of course by the time she gets her divorce settlement, you pay child support, you wlil not be bored, since you will have to work two jobs to pay for it

bronzebabe · Mar 23, 2009, 07:02 PM

If you are Asking if it is wrong, you already suspect it is. Don't risk your marriage, and life over nothing.

JoeCanada76 · Mar 23, 2009, 07:04 PM

You need to stop this behaviour...

scottmc77 · Mar 23, 2009, 07:06 PM

Originally Posted by Jesushelper76

You need to stop this behaviour.....

I find with myself I have very little if any impulse control

JoeCanada76 · Mar 23, 2009, 07:10 PM

Why do you feel this why? What makes you feel you have no or very little impulse control. Getting to the bottom of that might help you figure out the reason why this started in the first place and try to deal with it and face it head on before it becomes a major divorce issue in your marriage.

nikosmom · Mar 23, 2009, 07:10 PM

Originally Posted by scottmc77

I find with myself I have very little if any impulse control

So then how do you think that you can do this "with no intentions" of acting on it?

scottmc77 · Mar 23, 2009, 07:12 PM

Originally Posted by nikosmom

So then how do you think that you can do this "with no intentions" of acting on it?

If the person is thousands of miles away it would be impossible to act on it

JoeCanada76 · Mar 23, 2009, 07:14 PM

Now your just trying to rationalize why you think it is okay. There is such a thing as trains, planes and automobiles.

scottmc77 · Mar 23, 2009, 07:18 PM

Originally Posted by Jesushelper76

Now your just trying to rationalize why you think it is okay. There is such a thing as trains, planes and automobiles.

Not when your broke like myself

JoeCanada76 · Mar 23, 2009, 07:19 PM

You do not want help, you just want somebody to say your behaviour is okay. Your not getting that here. Being broke does not mean a thing. Just stop making excuses and make changes.

Joe

nikosmom · Mar 23, 2009, 07:21 PM

Originally Posted by scottmc77

If the person is thousands of miles away it would be impossible to act on it

And if this person is thousands of miles away, the next one could be right around the corner. Eventually this this will grow and take control and simply talking about it won't satisfy you.

How long have you been married? Just curious...

scottmc77 · Mar 23, 2009, 07:23 PM

Originally Posted by nikosmom

And if this person is thousands of miles away, the next one could be right around the corner. Eventually this this will grow and take control and simply talking about it won't satisfy you.

How long have you been married? Just curious...

Is it me or is it getting real hostile in here?? :confused:

nikosmom · Mar 23, 2009, 07:26 PM

Originally Posted by Jesushelper76

You do not want help, you just want somebody to say your behaviour is okay. Your not getting that here. Being broke does not mean a thing. Just stop making excuses and make changes.

Joe

I agree, you asked if it was wrong and everyone has said yes. Your gut tells you it's wrong so stop doing it.

Here's a scenario... you say you're broke... well what if this other woman has a meeting or trip planned near you and wants to meet up... then what?

You are setting yourself up for disaster. You don't seem like you value your marriage.

JoeCanada76 · Mar 23, 2009, 07:26 PM

Not getting hostile, its called being straight forward and honest with you. Take it anyway you like. Call it a wake up call. We are trying to save your marriage. If you do not want that then maybe your just finding reasons to try to get out of it. Honestly if your wife new this was happening you would be gone.

scottmc77 · Mar 23, 2009, 07:43 PM

Originally Posted by Jesushelper76

Not getting hostile, its called being straight foward and honest with you. Take it anyway you like. Call it a wake up call. We are trying to save your marriage. If you do not want that then maybe your just finding reasons to try to get out of it. Honestly if your wife new this was happening you would be gone.

What to do with the boredom? Except it?

nikosmom · Mar 23, 2009, 07:44 PM

Originally Posted by scottmc77

Is it me or is it getting real hostile in here??? :confused:

No hostility here, you asked a question and we gave honest answers. I don't want to see anyone ruin their marriage (or any seemingly good relationship) over something that can be prevented.

I had an ex that chatted with girls from everywhere and when I found out, I was very hurt. It didn't matter that he hadn't met them in person, it was the fact that (1) he knew it was wrong, hence the reason he'd hidden it from me (2) he never talked to me if he felt something was missing from our relationship and (3) he was sharing an intimate side of himself that they were not entitled to know.

So if the truth sounds harsh, so be it. The truth isn't always pretty. When all is said and done, you will be the one that will have to live with your decision when several people advised you to not do it.

nikosmom · Mar 23, 2009, 07:46 PM

Originally Posted by scottmc77

What to do with the boredom?? Except it??

How long have you been married?
Have you talked with your wife about your feelings?

scottmc77 · Mar 23, 2009, 07:48 PM

Originally Posted by nikosmom

No hostility here, you asked a question and we gave honest answers. I don't wanna see anyone ruin their marriage (or any seemingly good relationship) over something that can be prevented.

I had an ex that chatted with girls from everywhere and when I found out, I was very hurt. It didn't matter that he hadn't met them in person, it was the fact that (1) he knew it was wrong, hence the reason he'd hidden it from me (2) he never talked to me if he felt something was missing from our relationship and (3) he was sharing an intimate side of himself that they were not entitled to know.

So if the truth sounds harsh, so be it. The truth isn't always pretty. When all is said and done, you will be the one that will have to live with your decision when several people advised you to not do it.

I know its wrong but I have a sex drive that is way stronger than my wife's, she wants sex about 1/8 of the time I do so needless to say I get very frustrated!:(