Check out some similar questions!

chris7708 · Mar 21, 2009, 09:01 PM

How would I know what girls look for? Do they only look for people with looks or do they preffer personality?

artlady · Mar 21, 2009, 09:04 PM

Both! Looks are what attract you initially and then a personality is what keeps them with you.
Having confidence and being respectful to others is a big plus.
Personally ,I love intelligence and a sense of humor.

Alty · Mar 21, 2009, 09:07 PM

It depends on the girl. The younger, less mature girls usually go for the guy with the looks because they haven't yet realized that looks aren't everything.

The more mature girls know that looks don't matter in the long run.

For me it's always been personality, confidence, a sense of humor, kindness. Not to say that I don't notice a guys looks, but it's not the most important thing to me.

In other words, if you want a nice girl, not a shallow one, then being a great looking guy won't be that important. Shower, brush your hair, don't dress like a slob, but you don't have to be drop dead gorgeous if you've got the personality.

Others may disagree, but that's my take on it. :)

chris7708 · Mar 21, 2009, 09:12 PM

Originally Posted by artlady

Both! Looks are what attract you initially and then a personality is what keeps them with you.
Having confidence and being respectful to others is a big plus.
Personally ,I love intelligence and a sense of humor.

Because I'm a nice guy.. I'm pretty big.. like lineman wise... but its hard to find a girl.. I don't understand.. I am shy because of how big I am.. I think if I walk up to a girl than I will scare them.. but I don't know... its weird

chris7708 · Mar 21, 2009, 09:13 PM

Originally Posted by Altenweg

It depends on the girl. The younger, less mature girls usually go for the guy with the looks because they haven't yet realized that looks aren't everything.

The more mature girls know that looks don't matter in the long run.

For me it's always been personality, confidence, a sense of humor, kindness. Not to say that I don't notice a guys looks, but it's not the most important thing to me.

In other words, if you want a nice girl, not a shallow one, then being a great looking guy won't be that important. Shower, brush your hair, don't dress like a slob, but you don't have to be drop dead gorgeous if you've got the personality.

Others may disagree, but that's my take on it. :)

Because I'm a nice guy.. I'm pretty big.. like lineman wise... but its hard to find a girl.. I don't understand.. I am shy because of how big I am.. I think if I walk up to a girl than I will scare them.. but I don't know... its weird

artlady · Mar 21, 2009, 09:16 PM

Smile and be friendly and they will know your not out to play football with them. :)
Be relaxed,much of what you are thinking may just be in your own head and people aren't seeing you that way at all.

chris7708 · Mar 21, 2009, 09:18 PM

Originally Posted by artlady

Smile and be friendly and they will know your not out to play football with them. :)
Be relaxed,much of what you are thinking may just be in your own head and people aren't seeing you that way at all.

Okay... well how do I stop being so shy?

nikosmom · Mar 21, 2009, 09:21 PM

Some girls like bigger guys and some guys like bigger girls. I agree with Artlady and Altenweg, looks catch your attention but personality is what keeps you in for the long haul. I prefer an average-looking smart guy with a killer sense of humor to a model-type that's a complete airhead. You ever seen Zoolander?

I always say, "Nice guys don't finish last...with nice girls".

chris7708 · Mar 21, 2009, 09:24 PM

Originally Posted by nikosmom

Some girls like bigger guys and some guys like bigger girls. I agree with Artlady and Altenweg, looks catch your attention but personality is what keeps you in for the long haul. I prefer an average-looking smart guy with a killer sense of humor to a model-type that's a complete airhead. You ever seen Zoolander?

I always say, "Nice guys don't finish last...with nice girls".

Ha.. you.. I know what your saying... I'm just confused

Alty · Mar 21, 2009, 09:27 PM

Originally Posted by chris7708

okay... well how do i stop being so shy?

That's the tough part.

I used to be really shy when I was younger (if you knew me now you wouldn't believe it).

What I realized is that being shy didn't help me at all. What did I have to lose by approaching people, opening myself up to people? The worst they could do is reject me, the best is that they could accept me.

I was considered quite pretty (sounds conceited, but it's part of my point) and guys always approached me because of my looks. The guys that I was interested in were the ones that didn't just come up to me because of how I looked, but actually realized that there was a whole lot more to me than just my outward appearance. The funny guys, smart guys, guys that didn't immediately try to get me in the sack but actually wanted to sit and talk, they're the ones that I was attracted to.

So, be yourself, come out of your shell, what's the worst that could happen? Really?

artlady · Mar 21, 2009, 09:27 PM

Originally Posted by chris7708

okay... well how do i stop being so shy?

Overcoming shyness is something most of us have faced at one time or another.

Know that you are not alone.

Even the most popular people have shyness,they just hide it better .

You have to believe in yourself ,first of all.Like you said,you're a nice guy so tell yourself that when you are meeting new people.Remind yourself of what your assets are

Give yourself a pep talk.

I was in sales for a short time and in the seminar for personal skills we were taught to *fake it* (confidence) until it feels real.Eventually it does.You just have to be brave and every time you put yourself out there you will gain a little more genuine confidence.

Just remember you are a good guy and people would benefit from knowing you.

nikosmom · Mar 21, 2009, 09:31 PM

What's got you confused?

The way to break out of your shyness is to gain some confidence in yourself. What are you good at? What do you like to do? Find something that you enjoy and possibly you'll encounter some nice young ladies in those activities. They'll get a chance to know you on a social level and be more intrigued when it comes to getting closer.

I say focus on what's on the inside, let your light shine and people will be drawn to that. It's called a quiet confidence.

Alty · Mar 21, 2009, 09:33 PM

Had to spread the rep NM and Artsy, but you two are right on the money.

Chris, can I ask how old you are or did you already tell us and I missed it?

chris7708 · Mar 21, 2009, 09:33 PM

Originally Posted by Altenweg

That's the tough part.

I used to be really shy when I was younger (if you knew me now you wouldn't believe it).

What I realized is that being shy didn't help me at all. What did I have to lose by approaching people, opening myself up to people? The worst they could do is reject me, the best is that they could accept me.

I was considered quite pretty (sounds conceited, but it's part of my point) and guys always approached me because of my looks. The guys that I was interested in were the ones that didn't just come up to me because of how I looked, but actually realized that there was a whole lot more to me than just my outward appearance. The funny guys, smart guys, guys that didn't immediately try to get me in the sack but actually wanted to sit and talk, they're the ones that I was attracted to.

So, be yourself, come out of your shell, what's the worst that could happen? Really?

Ha.. damn.. that is true right there... but like what if I went to the mall and met a girl.. do I ask her for her number right there? Or would you think that is weird?

chris7708 · Mar 21, 2009, 09:36 PM

Originally Posted by Altenweg

Had to spread the rep NM and Artsy, but you two are right on the money.

Chris, can I ask how old you are or did you already tell us and I missed it?

Lol... I am 18... I know I sound young.. I just had a childhood where girls were always mean to me... but once I hit high school.. I started breaking records for football and stuff... so I know I am a cool guy.. I just don't know why I am so damn shy... like can I take any peels or anything for that?

Alty · Mar 21, 2009, 09:36 PM

Originally Posted by chris7708

ha.. damn.. that is true right there... but like what if i went to the mall and met a girl.. do i ask her for her number right there? or would you think that is wierd?

I think nowadays that's not weird at all. Maybe offer your number instead of asking for hers, that leaves the ball in her court. Sometimes girls don't like to give their number to someone they just met, you never know what kind of guy you're dealing with, it's just safer.

With Facebook, myspace, email, text messaging, there are so many ways to get into contact with someone, it's actually mind blowing.

Back in my day (wow, now I feel really old) we didn't have all of that. Heck, I didn't even have an answering machine, so if a guy called and I wasn't home, too bad.

You have the whole world at your fingertips, you just have to reach out an grab it. Don't be afraid, we all go through it, and we've all lived to tell about it. ;)

Alty · Mar 21, 2009, 09:41 PM

Originally Posted by chris7708

lol... i am 18... i know i sound young.. i just had a childhood where girls were always mean to me... but once i hit high shcool.. i started breaking records for football and stuff... so i know i am a cool guy.. i just dont know why i am so damn shy.... like can i take any peels or anything for that?

You're not that young. Okay, to me you are, but in the long run you aren't. ;)

I was 19 when I met my husband, we've been together for 19 years. Wow, that seems like a lifetime ago. It was a lifetime ago. Going to go get my cane now, and pop in my fancy teeth (kidding!) ;)

You are a cool guy, and don't you forget it. Peels? Do you mean pills? No, there aren't any pills that cure shyness, this is all up to you.

Confidence comes with age, experience, knowledge, so don't worry. I bet that most of the guys and girls your age are also shy, so you're not alone. What you do about your shyness is what counts. You have to break out of your shell, put yourself into situations where you are forced to talk to others, be social, meet people. Don't worry so much about your image.

I hate to say it, but high school really isn't the best years of your life, chances are that you won't see most of these people again, so live it up, talk to them, you really have nothing to lose except your shyness. :)

chris7708 · Mar 21, 2009, 09:47 PM

Originally Posted by Altenweg

You're not that young. Okay, to me you are, but in the long run you aren't. ;)

I was 19 when I met my husband, we've been together for 19 years. Wow, that seems like a lifetime ago. It was a lifetime ago. Going to go get my cane now, and pop in my fancy teeth (kidding!) ;)

You are a cool guy, and don't you forget it. Peels? Do you mean pills? No, there aren't any pills that cure shyness, this is all up to you.

Confidence comes with age, experience, knowledge, so don't worry. I bet that most of the guys and girls your age are also shy, so you're not alone. What you do about your shyness is what counts. You have to break out of your shell, put yourself into situations where you are forced to talk to others, be social, meet people. Don't worry so much about your image.

I hate to say it, but highschool really isn't the best years of your life, chances are that you won't see most of these people again, so live it up, talk to them, you really have nothing to lose except your shyness. :)

Lol.. your good.. but I know I'm a cool guy.. and every girl that I know has told me I'm the nicest guy they have met... its just when I go up to a girl that I haven't met yet and try to talk to them.. I'm worried that there not going to give me a chance to let them know that I'm a nice guy because of my looks... so I just wuss out... any thing on that?

Alty · Mar 21, 2009, 09:52 PM

Originally Posted by chris7708

lol.. your good.. but i know im a cool guy.. and every girl that i know has told me im the nicest guy they have met... its just when i go up to a girl that i havent met yet and try to talk to them.. im worried that there not going to give me a chance to let them know that im a nice guy because of my looks... so i just wuss out... any thing on that?

Ya, stop wussing out! :p

You only live once, so go for it!

nikosmom · Mar 21, 2009, 09:55 PM

Originally Posted by chris7708

lol.. your good.. but i know im a cool guy.. and every girl that i know has told me im the nicest guy they have met... its just when i go up to a girl that i havent met yet and try to talk to them.. im worried that there not going to give me a chance to let them know that im a nice guy because of my looks... so i just wuss out... any thing on that?

Here's what you do... (shhhhh, I'm giving away top secret info here)... but you dust yourself off and try again (different girl of course).

Here's one of my fave quotes of all time and it fits perfectly in this situaion:

"If you have no confidence in self, you are twice defeated in the race of life. With confidence, you have won before you have started. "- Marcus Garvey