[TrueFaith]

What was your mistake?

Did you spill a glass of milk?

Or sleep with another girl? More details would be just ideal thanks

[faustus]

what was your mistake?

did you spill a glass of milk?

or sleep with another girl? more details would be just ideal thanks

I had an e-mail from a dating site I was registered on once, where I met her 11 months ago. I opened it "just to look" as you do (she doesn't see it that way) apparently I am still looking etc etc. I left my account open as I really did not have anything to hide but she didn't see it that way. Story is I met her when she was 3 months pregnant and saw her through and helped bring up little'un who is now 4 months old and adoreable. We were really very close until 2 weeks ago when it happened, how after showing so much dedication can such a thing turn the tables...

[Alty]

Women are emotional, when we see that you're still signed up to a dating site our automatic thought is "hmm, he's still looking".

Forgetting to sign off the site and actually looking to see what's new, those are two very different things.

She just had a baby, you two haven't been together long, this is an emotional time, a conflicting time, by "just looking" at the site, you unconciously confirmed her fears that you aren't happy with the relationship, that you're still looking for something better.

Give her the two weeks, then tell her how you feel. Remember, she just had a baby, is probably very hormonal, uncertain, and a bit scared.

Try and see this from her point of view. How would you feel if she was a member of a dating site and checking it out on a regular basis?

[faustus]

I had an e-mail from a dating site I was registered on once, where I met her 11 months ago. I opened it "just to look" as you do (she doesnt see it that way) apparantly I am still looking etc etc. I left my account open as I really did not have anything to hide but she didnt see it that way. Story is I met her when she was 3 months pregnant and saw her through and helped bring up little'un who is now 4 months old and adoreable. We were really very close until 2 weeks ago when it happened, how after showing so much dedication can such a thing turn the tables....

She saw from the account that I had not beedn a paying member for 9 months as she wasn't also, it was in black and white, even showed her my credit card and bank statements. I had no intentions of wanting anything else. I met her when she was pregnant with someone else's baby, but thought so much of her and her lovely ways that was enough for me. Even present at the birth and can now change a nappy and feed him and am the expert at putting him to sleep

[Alty]

Like I said, don't give up. I've had two kids, the hormones and emotions afterwards can really mess with your mind. Let her know how you feel, but first give her the time she requested.

[heartbroke]

She's probably emailing you to let you know that she is okay. Or just getting stuff off her mind through emails. Keep up what you're doing.

[neverme]

I think Alty's right, there are a lot of changes going on in her body. Just give her her time and I'm sure it will sort itself out.

Keep u the reassurance and attention when you can.

Best of Luck.

[faustus]

I think Alty's right, there are alot of changes going on in her body. Just give her her time and I'm sure it will sort itself out.

Keep u the reassurance and attention when you can.

Best of Luck.

Thanks for all the confidence. This is so hard I have never been in this state before ever. I am 47 she is 31, I adore her very much. How easy would it be for her to want me back even after the thinking time she requested. I know it would be hard for me as I expect her family and friends will be on her side and will no doubt be saying things like, don't be silly girl, he did it once and will do it again etc etc

[faustus]

Shes probably emailing you to let you know that she is okay. Or just getting stuff off her mind through emails. Keep up what youre doing.

That's what I hoped for, but also hoping that she just wanted to have a little contact, I did reply with a very short have a nice time at the beach... lucky

[faustus]

Like I said, don't give up. I've had two kids, the hormones and emotions afterwards can really mess with your mind. Let her know how you feel, but first give her the time she requested.

How then would you have liked your mind to be eased. I have told her how I feel bigger and better then I have ever done so before, I hope she knows, but if there is more then how? I will give her her time but when our time comes I want to be spot on with my actions and not mess it all up again

[Alty]

How then would you have liked your mind to be eased. I have told her how I feel bigger and better then I have ever done so before, I hope she knows, but if there is more then how? I will give her her time but when our time comes I want to be spot on with my actions and not mess it all up again

I can't give you a step by step list of things to do and say that will work. Every women is different, every man is different, every situation is different.

You know her better than we do, only you can figure out what to say to her and how and when to say it.

Sorry, I wish I could be more help.

Good luck.

[MsMewiththat]

I don't think you really did anything to mess it up in the first place. Relationships need to be built on trust. If it doesn't take much to get herto walk away then perhaps your foundation is cracked. My thoughts are these... some problems we take on as if they are ours. This problem perhaps is hers and you should really allow her the time to work it out. If not worked out then it is more of a good thing for you than a bad thing. Take the time to be good to you. You'll be okay.

[faustus]

She is very spiritual and thinks things really deep, that is what I love about her as she too puts my mind at total ease. She has been hurt in the past and I can understand that but all we went through together was very very strong, I could have walked away when she told me she was pregnant but did noit and we went through an awful lot together as we didn't really know what to do etc etc. We learned together and she has a wonderful little boy who is as easy as pie to lookafter, never crys, sleeps through after only 2 months and giggles all the time. I just don't understand why she would want to throw me away if that's what it comes to.

[MsMewiththat]

She very well may be a very deep thinker which makes it easier for her to make it your problem instead of hers. If it wasn't the visit to the website than perhaps it would have been something else. She could also be trying to take time to think which could easily translate to I need room to figure a few things out.. which she does. She has a child with another man and is currently "playing house" with another. There are a few hearts here that can get broken if things aren't planned or played out properly. Time goes on and kids grow fast. Understand, she needs this time and if you continue to push you will end up losing out. If you can't give her the time now, it will equate to her in the end that you don't care. I'm not saying you don't care, but if she had a headache you would keep it down so she could rest. She has a lot to think about, more than likely people to contact (the babies daddy) and she has things that she has to deal with before she can continue her relationship and that babies relationship with you. Take the time now, it will be much less painful now than it will be or could be in the future. Fast forward a few years and imagine a child's father coming into the picture and nothing has been attempted or dealt with? Better now than later. Breathe

[faustus]

Hmmm, not so sure, the babies father got married a month ago and she was good about it, she nave had feelings for him in anyway it just happened so to say, I believe her, even had his fiancée over with him to see Leon for the first time when sorting maintenance out. He pays maintenance etc and has no feelings for him I am sure. There is nothing else I can think of she is wondering about. She has said 2 weeks that ends Saturday so do I contact her or wait. If I do what would be a good thing to start thngs going again, I am so scared of getting it wrong. I so wanted to send a how are you text today but haven't, then again thought she might think, huh, hasn't even asked how I am doing... or I told you I wanted space etc etc

[MsMewiththat]

You need to stop your mental torture. You are going bananna's. Please take care of you. What I think you should do is follow your heart along with your head. You thought about it and decided not to because she asked you for space. You get it. Wait until Saturday, text her then and let her know how you miss her and that you are ready when she is. That you haven't stopped loving her and you are anxiously waiting to speak. In the mean time go for a walk. Or you could always PRAY

[heartbroke]

So any updates faustus? What has time done for you?