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michele1983 · Feb 16, 2009, 02:51 PM

I've been dating this guy that I had liked for a very long time... Talking like 8 years... and he's liked me for four years. I knew that he was raised Christian and that his mother is very religious.

Everything was going GREAT in our relationship. I knew he loved me and I loved him... A week ago for some reason I asked if he would marry a non-Christian to which he replied, "I don't know"... He didn't know what he believed in... I supported him in figuring it out as he confessed it had been bothering him lately. I urged him to go to Church or speak with his mother. I personally, believe in God but was never raised in a Church so I really don't know much about the matter. I researched a lot to get an understanding... We hung out one night and everything seemed great. I told him to take his time and do what he needs to do because I love him and I understand its hard.

He then dumps me a couple days later after talking to his mother. Saying that he needs to figure this out alone and that in he doesn't see us working out in the long run if he chose Christianity. But at the same time he would say things that contradicted himself, making it obvious he is very confused. He said we might get back together... He still loves me very much...

I was a bit upset that he didn't even share anything with me in regards to his faith nor did he really ask what I personally believed in... perhaps because he is unsure about it himself but automatically determining we couldn't work out without even discussing it offends me... I guess its against the bible to be with a non-believer... But I don't consider myself a non-believer...

I don't know what to do... I want to reach out to him but I feel that I shouldn't... I haven't talked to him in three days and counting... I know this wasn't an excuse to break up with me cause everything was fine until I asked that initial question. He broke up with me cause he needs to figure stuff out and doesn't want to put my life on hold. He didn't want to hurt me later down the road if this came up again so he feels he needs to address it now...

So now, I don't know if I should try to write him off and move on or wait... Make effort to show I support him and still love him... He said that it doesn't mean we can't talk or hang out but now I just don't know what will happen...

WHAT DO I DO?

chuff · Feb 16, 2009, 03:15 PM

I get the impression he was going to dump you before all this. That marriage question might have made it come sooner, because once he thought you wanted marriage he might have thought it was best to get out of there as quick as possible.

michele1983 · Feb 16, 2009, 03:21 PM

Originally Posted by chuff

I get the impression he was going to dump you before all this. That marriage question might have made it come sooner, because once he thought you wanted marriage he might have thought it was best to get out of there as quick as possible.

I argue this because he was the one that would bring up marriage before me. More often actually... And like I said, everything was perfect until the religion question came up... Which is why I am so confused

chuff · Feb 16, 2009, 03:25 PM

Originally Posted by michele1983

I argue this because he was the one that would bring up marriage before me. More often actually...And like I said, everything was perfect until the religion question came up....Which is why I am so confused

Why would he bring up marriage if he had no problem with outside religion. Suddenly you bring it up and he dumps you? He might use it as an excuse, but I believe there was something more.

michele1983 · Feb 16, 2009, 03:46 PM

Well, its really hard to put all the information down but basically I believe he was caught up in our love and has been pushing his questioning faith on the back burner. Which is what he had said to me himself... He even told me that we don't have to return our things right away... He just needs time to himself to figure this out...

Again, I don't know what to do... To try to move on or wait... To call or not to call after a week or so... Allowing some space... My heart still belongs to him and I have no interest in dating at all... clearly, the break up was recent so that would be normal... and I generally think of myself as a very rational person...

But never in my life had I have to address religion... In regards to a relationship no less. I always thought love conquers all. How naïve is that.