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Mac Lovin · Jan 23, 2009, 04:54 AM

6 threads merged

Does this mean they don't want to be in a serious relationship or just want own time for friends etc?

neverme · Jan 23, 2009, 05:02 AM

Exactly what they said.

Stop trying to read more into it. If this is what s/he said then this is what they want.

Move on.

Mac Lovin · Jan 23, 2009, 05:05 AM

Originally Posted by neverme

Exactly what they said.

Stop trying to read more into it. If this is what s/he said then this is what they want.

Move on.

No see we are a couple but she says she needs her own time to do her own things.. meet friends etc...

Is she backing off from me or what?

liz28 · Jan 23, 2009, 05:06 AM

It could mean that they need to have their own life outside of the relationship. It's healthy to have a life that includes hanging with friends and family instead of just being around your partner all the time, this is unhealthy. Relationship survive better when the relationship don't consume you and it's all you know.

This doesn't mean he/she doesn't want to have something serious with you, it just means they need balance. And it not hard to balance friends and a boyfriend/girlfriend. It's healthy.

But what exactly was said?

neverme · Jan 23, 2009, 05:11 AM

Originally Posted by Mac Lovin

No see we are a couple but she says she needs her own time to do her own things.. meet friends etc...

Is she backing off from me or what?

Only you can answer that. Or her.. you could ask her?

Communication is key. Sit down with her and say look, I understand that you need time and that's grand but I need to know if this is all you need or do you want to be alone altogether.

Be completely honest then you have every right to expect the same from her.

Mac Lovin · Jan 23, 2009, 05:13 AM

Originally Posted by liz28

It could mean that they need to have their own life outside of the relationship. It's healthy to have a life that includes hanging with friends and family instead of just being around your partner all the time, this is unhealthy. Relationship survive better when the relationship don't consume you and it's all you know.

This doesn't mean he/she doesn't want to have something serious with you, it just means they need balance. And it not hard to balance friends and a boyfriend/girlfriend. It's healthy.

But what exactly was said?

Just that we were on a break which was stupid as we love each other very much, but while it was off she used to spend all her spare time with her girlie friends and she just said that just because we are back together that we can't just drop all our friends and be with each other 24/7...

liz28 · Jan 23, 2009, 05:23 AM

Well, she is right. She shouldn't have to drop her pals because the two of you are together. Do you have friends that you hang out with?

Again, it's healthy for the two of you to have an outside source to hang out with. It's balance! You don't want to feel suffocate or let the you. Everyone needs time for themselve.

neverme · Jan 23, 2009, 05:24 AM

She just needs to keep some independence. You will be happier with a partner that feels fulfilled in their life. This is a good thing, take it as such.

Mac Lovin · Jan 23, 2009, 05:26 AM

Originally Posted by liz28

Well, she is right. She shouldn't have to drop her pals because the two of you are together. Do you have friends that you hang out with?

Again, it's healthy for the two of you to have an outside source to hang out with. It's balance! You don't want to feel suffocate or let the you. Everyone needs time for themselve.

Thanks for your advice, I know this sounds childish but sometimes I feel left out when she goes hang with her friends instead of me.

neverme · Jan 23, 2009, 05:32 AM

Don't validate those thoughts. She's not your carer she's your girlfriend. When you start to think things like that get up and do something fun for yourself.

Fr_Chuck · Jan 23, 2009, 05:42 AM

24/7, never, you should have friends, she should have friends, there are times when you and the guys hang, and times when she hangs with her friends some too.

Mac Lovin · Jan 23, 2009, 05:42 AM

Originally Posted by neverme

Don't validate those thoughts. She's not your carer she's your girlfriend. When you start to think things like that get up and do something fun for yourself.

Yeah I know but sometimes it feels like she only wants to meet whenever it suits her

liz28 · Jan 23, 2009, 05:58 AM

While she's hanging out with her friends than you should go hang up with yours.

Don't feel needy or left out.

neverme · Jan 23, 2009, 08:04 AM

This is going to sound really bad but I don't mean it that way: you need to get a life.

It should be that you both have lives of your own, and then enjoy being around each other when its convenient, for BOTH of you.

Mac Lovin · Jan 23, 2009, 08:11 AM

Originally Posted by neverme

This is going to sound really bad but I don't mean it that way: you need to get a life.

It should be that you both have lives of your own, and then enjoy being around each other when its convenient, for BOTH of you.

Too be honest I think you are right, I am my own worst enemy and I beat myself up over the little of things, part of the reason we broke up was I did not give her enough time...

Now when I start giving her all the time she wants its like she don't want it, so what do I do?

kctiger · Jan 23, 2009, 08:14 AM

Grow a pair! That is what you do. Quit letting this stuff ruin your relationship!

The term "Man Up" has never applied so much as it does to you right now. Quit relying on her for you own happiness... you are an individual as well, remember that! You are making a big deal of NOTHING.

Carry on... :cool:

neverme · Jan 23, 2009, 08:25 AM

I am right and I'm glad you've said so :p

No really though, go out and get yourself some other things to be doing.

What are your interests?

talaniman · Jan 23, 2009, 10:29 AM

How about staying with one thread, and not starting new ones, for the same subject!

Haven't you started to see that your responses are starting to repeat themselves?? Exactly what are you looking for here Mac??

Its really simple, get a life of your own with out her, and stop making her your whole life.

Your smothering her, and when she needs to breath, you wonder if she is interested in you.

You are killing your own relationship.