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hjpan · Oct 6, 2008, 08:34 PM

Originally Posted by AmExp

Eventually you will move beyond that simply because as you get older the fewer virgins there are....but I am hoping that does not mean you begin to prey on young women. Oh how I hate that.

I prey on girls who are close to my age... 15-18
I'm 19...

AmExp · Oct 6, 2008, 08:51 PM

15!? Come on now... you can do better than that. That is like freshmen in high school. You are what, a freshman in college? No sir!

Julia_T · Nov 18, 2008, 03:20 AM

I wonder after breaking up with you can people change their minds and decide they have made a mistake? I've heard that usually when guys make up their mind about how they feel about a girl they usually don't change it...

Because to have broken up with you in the first place then they obviously never really cared about you right? I mean I'm just talking from my own experience when I have broken up with people.. and remember how I felt at the time as in not into the person..

Its just in this situation I know that my ex cared.He showed me through his actions that he did so much and then one day its like he woke up changed his mind decided that we were done and just moved on. Now its like he's a different person!

I can't believe that this guy who was was once sooo into me would do anything for me (and this was not long ago) now acts as though what we had was nothing.

I guess my question is did he ever really care or was he just pretending? And also is there a possibility that he could ever go back to feeling what he used to feel?

kctiger · Nov 18, 2008, 06:34 AM

People change, and fast. Sometimes you just don't notice, or flat out live in denial of it happening. Of course he cared for you! I think sometimes, in an effort to avoid a break up, the people that do the dumping will actually try and force themselves to love you more or actuall like you, but in the end it doesn't work, and they can't fight their true feelings. Thus, the break up occurs. I don't know if this is what happened in your situation, but I do think he cared.

talaniman · Nov 18, 2008, 09:45 AM

Who knows why people change their mind or feel different. They just do.

BMI · Nov 18, 2008, 10:01 AM

I agree with the above posts.

I will add that the comment about if they broke up with you means they never really cared is absurd.

What does going out with you in the first place mean then?

Julia_T · Dec 14, 2008, 05:41 PM

The more I think about it the more I want my ex back.He was the perfect boyfriend and I miss him so much..

He went away for a few weeks and we had minimal contact, now he's back and I saw him a few days ago.. He wanted me to go home with him that night but I didn't. Even though I REALLY wanted to, I didn't. I knew it would be great but then I'd feel like crap the next day because I want more from him. I want things to go back to the way they were..

How should I go about getting him back? I'm invited to a xmas party this week.. Should I ask him to come with me?

21boat · Dec 14, 2008, 06:51 PM

I been there before. The best question is why and what separated you two to begin with. As humans emtional thought can really get in the way of logic. Sitting down peacfully is awalys a good policy to start and be honest with each other. It sometimes boils down to " do you want to be right and win, or do you want to be loved' ( tricky) In a basic relationship the one whi loves the least has the most control. It's the control factor the seems to trip us up on relationships. I would talk and set nice friendly ground rules and go from there. You say YOU want things to back they way they were . Well maybe not because you are not togther now. Opps. Maybe you want things to go back but not all things. Talk and be nice and honest and talk about long terms goals and you want to be in a year from now. Good Luck, Happy Holidays.

talaniman · Dec 15, 2008, 09:06 AM

If this is the same guy..

Ask Me Help Desk - Search Results

... this has been over a while, so leave him alone.

Julia_T · Dec 22, 2008, 01:14 AM

That's easier said then done.. I see him around all the time and we have a very strong physical attraction..

Julia_T · Dec 22, 2008, 01:38 AM

PS. It has been over for about a month and a half.. I wouldn't say it's that long

talaniman · Dec 22, 2008, 09:08 AM

You are still fresh, and one of the lasting benefits of a break up, is you learn to cope with those intense feelings in a positive way.

I know its not easy, but quite beneficial in the long run.

How was the Christmas party??

Julia_T · Dec 28, 2008, 10:14 PM

I'm the biggest loser on the planet! Lol but I have finally decided to move on and somehow forget about my stupid ex who broke my heart into a million pieces and yet I STILL can't stop thinking about how perfect he is.. Soo I need to vent about all the things I think about that are stopping me from moving on. Here goes.. Why the do I remember the good stuff and not the bad.. ahh! Well..

Basically he was the perfect boyfriend in the beginning and I don't think that I will find someone better.. He came to my house to pick me up and take me on dates and drop me home even though he lives an hour away.. I remember how he used to say I'm the most beautiful girl in the room and only have eyes for me and how he was never going to let me go! The first time we had a fight he was so considerate and did everything he could to make it better. He would leave his friends to hang out with me.. and it doesn't help that he is the most beautiful person I have ever seen!just the way he used to be with me was PERFECTION he knew exactly what to do in every situation to make me feel sooo special and cared for.. Oh and don't get me started on our physical chemistry.. we couldn't keep our hangs off each other everywhere we went.. It was crazy!

Then one day the bastard changed!! And has never been the same again.. I mean ! Now he is completely different and I can't help but remember how he WAS! I feel completely cheated! Was he pretending before? And I just don't know what I did to make him change although he has had an extreme promotion at work and changed shortly after.. Dunno maybe its easier to believe that it wasn't me...

I have about 10 guys txting me wanting to be my boyfriend at the moment but I just can't do it! I can't stop thinking about him and how happy we were when we were together!there was just so much electricity between us!. And I know he felt it too: I remember this one time he came to my house and we couldn't stop smiling and talking for about 5 hours we didn't even realise what the time was.. so I don't understand why it died.. :(

openeyes · Dec 28, 2008, 10:27 PM

I understand completely what your going through... I had this boyfriend once that was a great guy at first and would take me to dinner and come visit me almost every day till one day he decided he wanted me to drive to his house and pick him up and he started being extremely different. He did a complete 360. He expected me to change roles with him and be his 2nd mother. I wouldn't mind driving and picking him up once in a while but if he's my boyfriend its not correct to make the girl go pick the guy up..

For conclusion I recommend you kick him to the curb.
For the reasons that you would feel fresh and it will leave open doors for a better guy one that actually appreciates you to come along.
Time heals everything.
To answer your question if he was lying?? Most likely he was not lying its just common when two people met some people set up expectations that they can not keep throughout a relationship which leads the other partner to feel disappointed and mislead.

talaniman · Dec 28, 2008, 11:40 PM

Nice vent, feel better? Now play the whole tape and see the good and the bad.

talaniman · Dec 28, 2008, 11:44 PM

Your posts have been merged, since they are all about the same thing, and cuts down on a lot of confusion, as your whole story is in one place.

grdakin · Dec 29, 2008, 03:56 AM

Are you serious? Sleeping with him still is not an option. He left because he got bored and wanted to c sum1 else if the chance arose. I'm sure you don't deserve that, you need to move on and find som1 that wants you and only you. When I'm with a woman she is my everything, I don't want to leav her side and I don't want any one else. My last girlfriend cheated on me and lied about it and I believed her, she had sex with my biff and he didn't tell me either. So I moved on and found someone that loves me and cares for me. He's using you as some sort of a booty call just when hez horny. There are better men. But don't stop being friends with him, it's healthy, even though he really only probably wants to stay friends with yoou until he finds some one else.

liz28 · Dec 29, 2008, 08:34 AM

After a break-up, your minds starts playing tricks on you. You only remember the good memories and not the ungly. When those good memories creep into your mind don't hold on it, change your trail of thought quickly.

Sometimes people are good in the beginning but as time goes on you start to see the true person inside and then you wonder "how did they hide all the ungliness"? Well I call them a devil in disguise.

You need good by moving on but it takes time for you to heal. Even though you've other guys after you don't get serious because your not completely over your ex but you can date them.

You know it's easy to fall in love but hard to get over that love one.

hjpan · Dec 29, 2008, 11:52 AM

Originally Posted by AmExp

15!???????????????????? Come on now...you can do better than that. That is like freshmen in high school. You are what, a freshman in college? No sir!

Sophomore in university. Dropped out.

LOL

wolfgangqpublic · Dec 29, 2008, 12:32 PM

Hey Julia, I just read what you wrote about how perfect the guy was and how you'll never find another like him. After reading what you wrote, I'd hate to imagine what the other guys you dated have been like. Because truth is - what he did in the beginning wasn't that unique. It mostly describes myself and plenty of other guys I know more or less.

As other posters are writing - your mind is playing tricks on you post-breakup.