Check out some similar questions!

BlackVY · Dec 21, 2008, 07:33 PM

Haha... good.. yeah try it... we all should.. no point thinking about destructive stuff...

That's cool... glad u enjoyed it... must be hard to sing and dance at the same time, and yeah, not a lot of singers are good live, but that's cool.. too bad about the rain... lol

hurtnconfused · Dec 21, 2008, 07:42 PM

Just an update on my situation...

I finally sent that text to him about an hour and a half ago, "Hope you had a safe flight back. Just wanted to see how it went."

NO RESPONSE

I guess any doubts I had before are now confirmed. I guess I was in denial thinking *maybe*, just maybe he was really caught up in the event and was busy getting things together before he had to fly out there. But now, he's home. A text back telling me how it went would only take less than a minute of his time but I guess I have my real answer. :(

BlackVY · Dec 21, 2008, 07:46 PM

Originally Posted by hurtnconfused

Just an update on my situation...

I finally sent that text to him about an hour and a half ago, "Hope you had a safe flight back. Just wanted to see how it went."

NO RESPONSE

I guess any doubts I had before are now confirmed. I guess I was in denial thinking *maybe*, just maybe he was really caught up in the event and was busy getting things together before he had to fly out there. But now, he's home. A text back telling me how it went would only take less than a minute of his time but I guess I have my real answer. :(

Hold up... don't think like that yet... maybe he hasn't seen his phone or something... give him like 12 hours... if he doesn't get back to you, then yeah, he would have seen your message and ignored it... but give it time.. don't expect an immediate response... and don't keep checking your phone every few minutes either... lol

roxypox · Dec 21, 2008, 07:52 PM

Yeah give him until tomorrow. I don't know how late it is where you are HnC, but give him until tomorrow!

Like black said; he might not have looked at his phone, he might be doing something; family stuff, friend stuff, sleeping... you never know! So don't write him of just yet. :)

hurtnconfused · Dec 21, 2008, 07:56 PM

The night I met him and the two days following that, he would respond within minutes. It's just after this last date on Monday night, he did a complete 180 on me. Even after that last date, he mentioned twice how he really enjoyed himself and just couldn't wait to see me again.

Even during both dates, he kept mentioning places he wanted to go with me after he got back, things he wanted to do, etc... What the heck happened??

LOL, I won't keep checking my phone, I'll just expect to not hear from him again. I know he's not interested anymore but I also hope he's not one of those guys who blow you off, then you let them go, never contact them, then a couple weeks later they just call you out of the blue.

BlackVY · Dec 21, 2008, 08:01 PM

Originally Posted by hurtnconfused

The night I met him and the two days following that, he would respond within minutes. It's just after this last date on Monday night, he did a complete 180 on me. Even after that last date, he mentioned twice how he really enjoyed himself and just couldn't wait to see me again.

Even during both dates, he kept mentioning places he wanted to go with me after he got back, things he wanted to do, etc... What the heck happened???

LOL, I won't keep checking my phone, I'll just expect to not hear from him again. I know he's not interested anymore but I also hope he's not one of those guys who blow you off, then you let them go, never contact them, then a couple weeks later they just call you out of the blue.

See.. u can't assume anything... u don't know him well enough for that.. and assumptions can lead to wrong decisions... sleep on it.. like I said, give him some time to get back to you, don't wait forever, but some time...

You could put yourself in his shoes... say you liked a guy, and had a few dates with him and it went well... but then you had to go away for a business trip or something... when you came back, would the first thing you do be contact that guy? I mean like roxy said, he could have family stuff to do, or friends stuff or even just sleep... so give it some time... if he doesn't contact you in 12 hours, then OK... goodbye mr guy...

roxypox · Dec 21, 2008, 08:05 PM

Good advice black! It really is too early for such assumptions...

BlackVY · Dec 21, 2008, 08:08 PM

Originally Posted by roxypox

good advice black! It really is too early for such assumptions....

Thanks.. but thing is, time is not your friend when you stress and over-think things... time just makes things worse... I'm just speaking from experience... :o

hurtnconfused · Dec 21, 2008, 08:12 PM

Thank you so much for your advice, it really helps more than you'll ever know, keeping me from going completely insane LOL!

I will give it till tomorrow then, it's only 7pm out here so it's not too late for him to text... We will see! And men say WE'RE the complicated ones! Tsk tsk!

BlackVY · Dec 21, 2008, 08:16 PM

Its good to know we helped, and keeping u from going insane is a good thing I think... lol!

Yes.. give him time.. maybe he is out having dinner somewhere with friends, or sleeping early... or maybe his phone is off... lots of possibilities... but yeah.. see how it goes tomorrow...

But yeah... for a guy, women are complicated, and for women, guys are complicated... its hard to understand the opposite sex, but it helps when you get advice and help... you still won't understand the person completely, but it does shed some light on some of what they are thinking... :)

roxypox · Dec 21, 2008, 08:38 PM

Yeah we are all very complicated... two ways of seeing the world and all the issues we encounter... hehe you got to love the insanity we create out of thin air sometimes :p

But yeah it is great to have a place to get advice. Both like HnC here and I've been a pickle a few times myself. Nice to get a mans perspective when there is a guy in the picture that creates trouble in your mind :p and a woman's perspective for that matter :)

BlackVY · Dec 21, 2008, 08:40 PM

Haha.. tru tru... a man in love will always welcome another woman's perspective in order to better understand his own woman... :)

roxypox · Dec 21, 2008, 09:09 PM

Its nice though, to have such a choice. i.e. you actually have people out there who are willing to gives us their perspectives and thoughts on things.

Ooo by the way I promised a friend of mine that I'd ask this; she's been on a few dates with this guy, and he told her that he would love to continue seeing her, but he is kind of fresh out of a relationship and is not ready for a new one right now, and he wanted her to know that and hoped she'd understand... is that like a way of saying I want to be friends? Or I want to see where it goes, but I want to date for a while? LOL you can imagine how much help I was when she told me. (I looked at her, literally cocked my head to the side and was like.. idunnknow :p)

BlackVY · Dec 21, 2008, 09:13 PM

Wow... interesting one... u should start a new thread for this, so as not to hijack hurtnconfused's thread

Seems like the guy is taking the easy way out and trying to let your friend down gently... it doesn't sound like he wants to be in a relationship with her, maybe just hang out, so I guess friends is right... but I don't think he wants to date right now

roxypox · Dec 21, 2008, 09:15 PM

Okay, thank you! I'll do that! :)

hurtnconfused · Dec 22, 2008, 05:54 PM

Got another update...

So it took him a few hours to text me back last night and it was short and sweet. He said it went well and they did great on the event. I decided to initiate and "feel him out" a bit so I asked him if he was up for sushi sometime this week, because we did discuss going to this particular restaurant upon his return. He responded with an enthusiastic "Yeah sure!!! Plus I'll be partying all this week to unwind." I replied, "Great, then we can celebrate, I'll treat you to a couple of them drinks we talked about." Then he texts "I want you!" I said the same thing back... all these texts kind of pointed in the direction that he was still at least semi-interested, right?

Well, another new day today, and I will be visiting friends who actually live near him, so I shot him a text letting him know that I will be in town and asked if he was up for sushi tonight. That was 4 hours ago...

Why in the world would he say those things in a text, which to me, sound like he's at least a little interested, then do this again? Is he just not interested at all, and just enjoy playing some sort of game? What should be my next move, just realize that I've exhausted all my options and I've done all I can and take it as a loss??

BlackVY · Dec 22, 2008, 06:00 PM

Well it does sound like he is interested... so that's a good thing I think... but again, maybe he is busy and doesn't have his phone with him or something

Again, don't assume anything, especially with this guy, seems like he does take a while to reply... so don't worry about today... just go see your friends and stuff... if he messages back after a while saying yeah, he is free to go out, say sorry, its too late, you were in the area, but not anymore, but its OK, you can meet up another time...

I don't think he is playing games or anything, but then again, I don't know this guy, but it does seem like he is busy, or not a very responsive guy... so chill... carry on with your life, take it easy and go slow with him... don't think too much about what he is doing or if there is a meaning behind what he does... just chill and be happy... :)

talaniman · Dec 22, 2008, 06:03 PM

What!! The guy has his phone on, raring to return your text?? What if he is partying with his buds, as he says. Don't do this to yourself, your being pushy. Relax, and enjoy your friends, and stick to the original plan.

He said he would be in touch, so for gosh sake, let it happen when it happens.

hurtnconfused · Dec 22, 2008, 06:05 PM

Yeah, actually I've decided this is my last attempt lol! I don't want to come across as a pest and I think he's very aware that I do want to see him. I'll just wait for him to contact me from now on if he feels like it. Thanks again, BlackVY, you're da bomb! :)

hurtnconfused · Dec 22, 2008, 06:08 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

What!!!!! The guy has his phone on, raring to return your text????? What if he is partying with his buds, as he says. Don't do this to yourself, your being pushy. Relax, and enjoy your friends, and stick to the original plan.

He said he would be in touch, so for gosh sake, let it happen when it happens.

I know, I didn't want to come off pushy. I only texted once today just letting him know I'll be in town. Like I said, I won't do it again. Thank you for the advice, talaniman, I think it's just time to let this one go. I just wanted to extend the invite since he is back in town, that's all.