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hurtnconfused · Dec 18, 2008, 02:18 PM

I met a new guy through a mutual friend, only went out with him twice so far. Monday night was the last time we saw each other and things went really good, had great conversation, laughed, it was just a fun time.

After we parted ways that night, he texted me asking if I got home safe. I told him yes & thank you for the great time. He then replied saying that he had a great time and can't wait to see me again and that he would text me the following day.

Didn't hear from him so I just shot him a quick text Tuesday night. It took him over 5 hours to respond and this was what he said, "Sorry just got your message. I've been so busy!" I knew he was leaving out of state tonight for a big sports event he's been training really hard for. So I replied telling him not to worry if I don't see or hear from him by then, that I wish him luck on the event. Never did hear back from him. I know he comes back Sunday. Think I could possibly hear from him again or should I assume that last message of his is a hint that he's not interested anymore?

N0help4u · Dec 18, 2008, 02:55 PM

Send him a message so how did your sports event go?

roxypox · Dec 18, 2008, 03:19 PM

Nohelp4us suggestion is pretty good... he might not be blowing you off... hehe but I'm a girl so I'm not entirely sure of what this sort of behavior implies...

BlackVY · Dec 18, 2008, 03:29 PM

Nah... just give it time... don't send him a text message yet... just wait till like Sunday night or something, and if you don't hear from him by then, send him a casual message to ask about the event... see if he replies, but you got to expect it'll take time again, because he may be tired... so relax, chill, and don't assume anything...

hurtnconfused · Dec 18, 2008, 03:39 PM

Thank you so much! I think that if I don't hear from him then I will take your suggestion, BlackVY, and text him Sunday night just to ask how it went. I guess it's all I can do right? And if he still doesn't seem interested by next week, then I'm sure it's safe to assume he's already over it. I just wonder why guys do this?? They seem SO interested, even after the date they will text you, see if you got home safe, tell you how they had a great time with you and can't wait to see you again... then they disappear on you.

BlackVY · Dec 18, 2008, 03:46 PM

A few reasons a guy would do this... maybe he was excited about the date and it went well and he enjoyed himself, but later, he may have doubts or worries or thoughts, or other people might say stuff... it does depend on the individual.

I don't know too many guys who disappear after the first date, because its too soon to tell. I know some guys who second guess things after a few dates, or some guys who tend to mellow out when they know they got the girl... but again, depends on the person...

Just take your time... be happy... see how it goes and don't get too strung up on this guy just yet...

hurtnconfused · Dec 18, 2008, 03:57 PM

Yeah, it just caught me off guard because Monday was actually our second date. We went out Sunday night and it went well, he wanted to see me again Monday, that went well too. Maybe he is second guessing... not sure what the deal is, but I'll see what happens next week.

BlackVY · Dec 18, 2008, 04:02 PM

Neva know wit some people... and if he is second guessing, then let him... you'd rather have someone sure about his feelings than someone who is hot sometimes or cold sometimes, depending on other people, his mood, or even the weather... hehe... love bi-polar... lol ;)

roxypox · Dec 18, 2008, 04:04 PM

Blackvy: hehe I love that you quoted a song :P

And you make a good point it really is better to date someone who's sure, at the end of it all...

BlackVY · Dec 18, 2008, 04:07 PM

Haha... yeah... that is a good song... but it applies to a lot of people, and I know a lot of people can relate to it... because people are people, and not everyone is sure of what they are doing and what they want... even we may think we know, but how can we be really sure...

Basically, when your in love, you know for sure... and your heart agrees with your head... so the only cure for love bi-polar is finding your true love... lol ;)

roxypox · Dec 18, 2008, 04:12 PM

So true!! I've been there, done that ha ha and got out of it! It is a great song, I have it at the top of my current iPod play list.

BlackVY · Dec 18, 2008, 04:18 PM

Haha... nice nice...

Yeah, I bet we've all been there... and right now hurtnconfused needs to be relaxing, listening to music and having a nice time, not worrying if a guy is going to call back or not...

Sometimes the best thing is to do nothing at all... :)

roxypox · Dec 18, 2008, 04:26 PM

True, hurtandconfused you should relax, listen to music. When I listen to hot'n'cold, and I'm home alone (which happens a lot these days seeing as both my room mates have gfs.) I just dance around the apartment and have fun. :P I love it :D

Gosh, dating... fun, confusing, scary, intimidating, nerve recking... but good... he he I have to admit I totally understand that you're stressed out about your situation.

I met a guy this weekend and I had a coffee date with him earlier today. I'm a mess :P and he seems to be leaving everything up to me, which doesn't make it any better and I'm terrible at reading other people and I over think things... *sigh* ;)

BlackVY · Dec 18, 2008, 04:38 PM

Haha... everyone just needs to relax sometime...

So many people are concerned about the destination that they don't enjoy the journey there or take time to admire then scenery...

That was my problem... but now I'm kind of relaxing more, seeing how things go... I still have my destination in sight, but I'm looking at other things along the way and enjoying my journey to where I want to go... :)

roxypox · Dec 18, 2008, 04:41 PM

I like that blackvy! And its so true its almost ridiculous ;)

I know I need to relax more, I need to look at the scenery and I need to STOP over thinking things hehe :D I think that is going to be my next mission actually... stop stressing about stuff and stop all this worrying! :)

BlackVY · Dec 18, 2008, 04:46 PM

Haha.. that's what I'm doing, and it feels great... you still know where your heading, your not lost... but your just taking it easy and enjoying yourself... the more you plan and worry and think about it, the less fun you'll have...

hurtnconfused · Dec 18, 2008, 06:41 PM

You guys are awesome! :) I wish I could be just as positive. I will definitely wait it out, send that casual text. It just makes me feel crappy to think that I've put myself out there and now he's just making it obvious that he doesn't want to pursue anything. To me, no matter how busy a guy is, if he's genuinely interested, it takes a few seconds to text someone. Responding to me with "Sorry just got your message, I've been so busy!"... seems like he's giving me a hint that he's just not interested but yeah, I'll just try to relax and expect that I won't be hearing from him anymore. Ah, dating... got to love it!

roxypox · Dec 18, 2008, 06:53 PM

I guess that is what makes dating scary, you put yourself out there, you make yourself available and then what?

He he a few weeks ago I was really into this guy and after some pondering I decided that I had nothing to loose by telling him, so I did.

Now I think I'm starting to think the same thing about this guy, what do I have to loose by putting myself out there?

Sure he's funny, good looking and charming, but what I have to stand to loose the most is face and at the end of the day; I'm the one who decides how much face I'm going to loose.

BTW: I have this motto: c'est la vie (that's life) you can't change what you can't control... other ppls thoughts, other ppls choices, wantings and desires... the mistakes you've made in the past, the things you did and said yesterday... what you do control is today and you and your choices... if it doesn't pan out all you can do is realize that: HEY that's life...

With all its faults, joys, mistakes, victories...

c'est la vie! ;)

hurtnconfused · Dec 19, 2008, 12:09 PM

I really don't know why I'm even stressing too much about him. I guess the anticipation, as each day passes, I'm losing hope I'll ever hear from him again and it's just so discouraging.

Isn't it true though, that if a guy is truly even the least bit interested, no matter how busy he is, he would take the time to send a text or call you? Wouldn't that apply to my situation as well? So I'm thinking this may not have anything to do with him being "busy", it's just more of his way of hinting to me that he's done.

hurtnconfused · Dec 19, 2008, 01:45 PM

Also, I'd like to ask... it wouldn't make me appear desperate if I did send that text on Sunday night just casually asking how it went, right? Although it's bothering me, of course I wouldn't want him to know that.