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leanamae_89 · Dec 16, 2008, 03:25 AM

I am a single mother who has a 1 and 1/2 year old little boy...
The father of the son pays child support and has absolutely nothing to do with him.
In fact he just wanted me to get an abortion when he found out!
I want him to sign over his rights... he won't allow me to do it because he still pays child support!
So is there a way I can drop child support in a mutual agreement of him signing over his rights?

leanamae_89 · Dec 16, 2008, 04:15 AM

Oh and also to mention he isn't on the birth certificate!

stevetcg · Dec 16, 2008, 06:42 AM

Originally Posted by leanamae_89

oh and also to mention he isnt on the birth certificate!

I am confused as to why he is paying C/S if he isn't on the birth certificate. Wasn't the birth certificate amended when you went to court to get CS?

But to answer your question: parental rights and child support have nothing to do with each other. Except in rare cases, a court will not allow someone to give up their rights to a child without there being someone there to take over. The most common case would be if you were to get married and your husband wanted to adopt your child.

Parental rights can be removed by a court but it takes special circumstances like one parent being in prison for an extended stay, abuse etc.

But from my limited knowledge of your situation, the answer is no - he cannot sign them away and you cannot take them away.

leanamae_89 · Dec 16, 2008, 07:24 AM

Well when we went to court he denied everything... so he didn't mention anything about getting it switched! And I never received a new birth certificate!

stevetcg · Dec 16, 2008, 07:27 AM

Originally Posted by leanamae_89

well when we went to court he denied everything... so he didnt mention anything about getting it switched! and i never recieved a new birth certificate!

Did the court order a paternity (DNA) test?

ScottGem · Dec 16, 2008, 07:32 AM

Whether the birth certificate was amended or not, before the court will order child support it would have had to declare him the legal father.

So the issue of him not being on the because is moot. He's the legal father and you can't get him to relinquish rights if he doesn't want to. No court is going to grant such a relinquishment unless you have someone waiting to adopt.

leanamae_89 · Dec 16, 2008, 07:32 AM

yes there was and he was proven 99.9% the biological father of my son... he never even botherd with anything like they told him if he wants to get his name on the birth certificate and also have the babies last name changed we would have to get papers oranized and taken to a notery to get everything finallized then it would of been in order! ever since that day i havent heard or spoke to him since!

leanamae_89 · Dec 16, 2008, 07:34 AM

I am also engaged to be married I don't know when but he is willing to take all responsibilities!

stevetcg · Dec 16, 2008, 07:37 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

Whether the birth certificate was amended or not, before the court will order child support it would have had to declare him the legal father.

So the issue of him not being on the b/c is moot. He's the legal father and you can't get him to relinquish rights if he doesn't want to. No court is going to grant such a relinquishment unless you have someone waiting to adopt.

I was under the impression that the BC was automatically modified. Maybe that is regional? Either way, true - totally moot. I was just trying to get a better understanding of the thought process from the OP.

stevetcg · Dec 16, 2008, 07:40 AM

Originally Posted by leanamae_89

i am also engaged to be married i dont know when but he is willing to take all responsibilities!

This question comes up a lot. If your fiancée wants to adopt your child, the prevailing rule of thumb is that once you have been married for a year, you can get an adoption lawyer and your husband can try to adopt your child. If the biodad agrees, then his rights are removed, child support stops and the court grants the adoption to your husband.

If the bio-father does not allow the adoption, there is little you can do except cash the child support check every month.

leanamae_89 · Dec 16, 2008, 07:47 AM

i can't just have him sign over rights to me in general....
he said from the begining that if there was any way for him to sign off on the kid...
so hes not responsible then so be it!
he backed out when he found out he would still have to pay child support!
thats why im woundering if its a mutual agreement can i gain sole custody of my son...
myself alone... if i can come to the agreement of droping the childsupport?

stevetcg · Dec 16, 2008, 07:50 AM

Originally Posted by leanamae_89

i can't just have him sign over rights to me in general....
he said from the begining that if there was any way for him to sign off on the kid...
so hes not responsible then so be it!
he backed out when he found out he would still have to pay child support!
thats why im woundering if its a mutual agreement can i gain sole custody of my son...
myself alone... if i can come to the agreement of droping the childsupport?

Im afraid not. Except in rare cases with extenuating circumstances, a court won't relinquish the rights of either parent without someone waiting to adopt.