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    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #21

    Dec 11, 2008, 10:38 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Starbucks21 View Post
    I think she doesn't understand what you look at when you see porn...

    I bet you're thinking ooo she'd look hot in that position or she'd look good in that lingerie.

    You're a guy. You are and always will be programed with a slight wandering eye. This doesn't mean you want to go seek out strippers and leave her for them.

    I'd say explain what you look at and you look at porn. And how you feel about her. Honestly, I know my fiance looks at porn. There's still a personal issues with it tho. I think she over reacted.

    I don't know but based on the slapping/spitting I don't know if I'd get within this woman's range to talk about anything.

    Has OP been back?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #22

    Dec 11, 2008, 02:05 PM
    Nope!!
    spitvenom's Avatar
    spitvenom Posts: 1,266, Reputation: 373
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    #23

    Dec 11, 2008, 02:32 PM

    I hope she didn't find out he was talking about it to strangers on the internet. She might hit him with a shovel.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #24

    Dec 11, 2008, 03:10 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by spitvenom View Post
    I hope she didn't find out he was talking about it to strangers on the internet. She might hit him with a shovel.

    Falling off my chair with laughter - this is a good one!
    stevetcg's Avatar
    stevetcg Posts: 3,693, Reputation: 353
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    #25

    Dec 12, 2008, 05:45 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by cadillac59 View Post
    I'm sorry to sound so quick with an answer but life is too short to put up with this nonsense.
    I've known people who ended relationships the FIRST time there was domestic violence. Not the second or third, but the FIRST. I know of someone who divorced his wife the FIRST time she slapped him and frankly I think the guy made the right choice.

    My position is ZERO tolerance for domestic violence. The first time it happens should be the last and should also mark the end of the relationship. And don't say you "love" the person. Too bad. Forget it. You'll find someone else to love. It's a big world out there.
    It escalates. My exgirlfriend used to hit me sometimes. She was a serious alcoholic and would fly off in fits of rage when things didn't go her way. The 4th or 5th time she came after me, I slapped her back.

    I'll give you one guess what happened then... yep - I went to jail. It didn't matter one bit to the court that half my face was busted up - I'm a guy and she isn't and I lose. She probably could have stabbed me and I still would have been found guilty.

    Get out now. If she feels that she can get away with this, what's next? Slapping you because you didn't satisfy her? A punch in the mouth because you yelled at a football game? Kick in the crotch because you left a towel on the floor?

    If you truly love her, give her the ultimatum... get help or get lost. Me, I'm with Caddy - zero tolerance.
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #26

    Dec 12, 2008, 07:54 AM

    No your not cheating because you looking at porn. I guess your wife would consider you cheating on her if you watch a Beyonce or Britney Spears video too especially if you enjoy it. I watch porn, and my fiancé watching porn once in a while and I am the one that buys it. Telling your family about you watching porn was petty and childish. She should be happy that your not out cheating like some husbands.
    Starbucks21's Avatar
    Starbucks21 Posts: 282, Reputation: 23
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    #27

    Dec 12, 2008, 11:03 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by stevetcg View Post
    It escalates. My exgirlfriend used to hit me sometimes. She was a serious alcoholic and would fly off in fits of rage when things didnt go her way. The 4th or 5th time she came after me, I slapped her back......

    If you truly love her, give her the ultimatum... get help or get lost. Me, im with Caddy - zero tolerance.

    I agree if it is not done in a playful/asked for manner... Like me and my fiancé will lightly slap each other (not leaving a single mark) or maybe tackle me during football but I think that's different. I'd never hit him out of anger/frustration and vice versa
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #28

    Dec 12, 2008, 12:57 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Starbucks21 View Post
    I agree if it is not done in a playful/asked for manner... Like me and my fiance will lightly slap each other (not leaving a single mark) or maybe tackle me during football but i think that's different. I'd never hit him out of anger/frustration and vice versa
    I agree playful fighting is okay. My fiancé taught me how to box and while he was teaching me I did hit him hard a few times by accident but getting abuse by someone is never good.

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