[ScottGem]

Ok, An attorney should be able to get the warrant cleaned up without too much trouble. I doubt if he would have to appear. A simple affadavit that he will not contact her directly, but only through his attorney should do it.

But Califdad is right. You need to clean up this mess. You don't want it hanging over his head. What happens if he has to go to NY on business or vacation?

And all the other issues can be resolved, but he has to be proactive and fight them out.

[gucci13]

What really needs to happen is that you need to start getting all the loose ends together and make sure to make plenty of knots along the way. This has been wrong on many levels and needs to be corrected NOW. For a couple to adopt a child usually they must be married first. So dont wait for this boyfriend to do anything. As far as a warrent goes you need to clear that up. Im guessing its almost a no brainer. The warrent was more then likely issued during the hearing because he should have been served notice of a hearing and given temporary orders from the courts so she could persue the OOP. Its normal in most cases to issue a bench warrent so the party being accused shows up .. no show = warrant for arrest. As far as your " ex " you still need to persue it again even through local agencies because your children are the ones missing out. He may be more condusive to signing away things of your husband wants to adopt and is free to do so. Then they will be his " legal " children. Also I agree that they should have went from the tax return and not from pay stubs. Insurance is now deductable and they may not even have considered it. He needs to see what adjustments can be made in that area. In NY overtime pay can be considered when calculating child support. Keep that in mind. Bottom line is you really need a lawyer and you need to straighten this whole mess out before it comes back to bite you even further in the future.

I understand what you are saying completely, and we have been trying to do that. Every time we have talked to a lawyer they say there really isn't anything we can do. Maybe we are just talking to the wrong ones. I don't know. Maybe we are just not contacting the right people. We are going to try to get a lawyer here in NC and see what they say and see if they can handle it here. As far as my "ex" is concerned I do know that you are right when you say that my kids are the ones missing out, they have been for years now. Even when he wasn't paying child support before I had it dropped he wasn't paying it. He had his DL suspened and everything. He just got out of jail and has promised them a lot of things and he doesn't even call them. It has been 2 weeks since they last talked to him. I do not believe that my children need to be the first ones all the time to contact him. I think that he needs to be the first one for once. My kids are very important to me and I would do anything for them. But, like I said they are not goning to be the first ones anymore. IF he loves them like he says he does then he needs to start standing up and be a father. He has told them he will get them for the summer (which is court ordered) but I really don't think he will. He has their hopes up and hopefully he won't let them down AGAIN.
My husband now really is a good father and he has done a lot for these kids and wants to continue to pay his support but we are paying for one kid and we can't even make it from one month to the next, and we have 5 people in our family. I will take your advice and talk to another lawyer and see what we can do about the whole thing.

[gucci13]

Ok, An attorney should be able to get the warrant cleaned up without too much trouble. I doubt if he would have to appear. A simple affadavit that he will not contact her directly, but only through his attorney should do it.

But Califdad is right. you need to clean up this mess. You don't want it hanging over his head. What happens if he has to go to NY on business or vacation?

And all the other issues can be resolved, but he has to be proactive and fight them out.

I just think that that whole mess is just stupid. He should be able to call and see how his kid is doing don't you think? We have tried to get the warrant taking care of but they won't tell us anything because of the victims rights, there is no victim, he was not harassing her or anything and he lived here in NC when the warrant was issued. There was no court dates that he had missed or anything.

[ScottGem]

Something doesn't make sense here. Who won't tell you anything because of what victim's rights? If he is the subject of a warrant, then he is entitled to information about that warrant. I think you do need to find a lawyer that knows what he's doing because getting the warrant taken care of shouldn't be that difficult.

And yes, I do think he should be able to find out how his child is doing and be a part of his life. The law will generally agree with that. But if the custodial parent won't cooperate you have to get the law to enforce his rights.

[cdad]

If you say your ex was in jail then you might want to see what's going on with that. Part of any probation program would include paying child support on time. You really need to get that straightened out. Also what was he in jail for because you may need to modify the custody situation if its something dangerous or involves drugs.