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suejim · Sep 19, 2008, 02:35 PM

We let my girlfriend (maid of honor) stay with us when she had no where else to go. On our wedding day she caused problems at the reception and was told to leave. Sometime that night she had come to the house and got her clothes. I have not talked to her since that day. She still has things here. Can I just get rid of them? I don't know where she is and she hasn't called me. She always talked crap about her having an address here, can she get us in trouble for her not getting her things?Florida

rockinmommy · Sep 20, 2008, 07:08 AM

There's a lot of grey area with this one. If you just verbally told her to get out and she did, she would probably have a pretty tough case to prove an unlawful eviction. But some strict judges may view it as such.

As far as her belongings, the safest thing to do is follow your state's landlord / tenant laws regarding "abandoned property." There's a "sticky" at the top of this forum with a link to each state's landlord / tenant laws.

Is your address the last known address you have for her? Did she receive mail there? Do you have an address for her parents or other relative? Can you not ask around among your friends and find out where she is?

The reason I'm asking is because you'll have to send her notice of your intent to dispose of her stuff.

Fr_Chuck · Sep 20, 2008, 07:24 AM

You really can't just get rid of her stuff without trying to contact her. Ok, best friend, I am sorry call people who know people, one should know where she is.

suejim · Sep 22, 2008, 08:43 AM

Originally Posted by rockinmommy

There's a lot of grey area with this one. If you just verbally told her to get out and she did, she would probably have a pretty tough case to prove an unlawful eviction. But some strict judges may view it as such.

As far as her belongings, the safest thing to do is follow your state's landlord / tenant laws regarding "abandoned property." There's a "sticky" at the top of this forum with a link to each state's landlord / tenant laws.

Is your address the last known address you have for her? Did she receive mail there? Do you have an address for her parents or other relative? Can you not ask around among your friends and find out where she is?

The reason I'm asking is because you'll have to send her notice of your intent to dispose of her stuff.

Since I asked about this she called and left me a message to bring her things to mutual friends, if I didn't do it by a certain day she will take me to civil court because she did receive mail here. I don't feel it is my responsibility to get her things to her, she brought them here she can pick them up. Why should I spend my time and gas money on her things. She could have gotten her things anytime if she would have called me before. It has been 2 months. We called her back and left her a message for a day to pick up her things. She never paid us any rent and was living here for free because she didn't have a job. I am wondering if she does take me to court what can she do? She is the one who left her things here and never contacted me until 2 months later.

JudyKayTee · Sep 22, 2008, 08:54 AM

Originally Posted by suejim

Since I asked about this she called and left me a message to bring her things to mutual friends, if I didn't do it by a certain day she will take me to civil court because she did receive mail here. I don't feel it is my responsibility to get her things to her, she brought them here she can pick them up. Why should I spend my time and gas money on her things. She could of gotten her things anytime if she would of called me before. It has been 2 months. We called her back and left her a message for a day to pick up her things. She never paid us any rent and was living here for free because she didn't have a job. I am wondering if she does take me to court what can she do? She is the one who left her things here and never contacted me until 2 months later.

It depends on (1) how much you want to get rid of her stuff; (2) if you want to get sued and have to go to Court and defend yourself; and (3) how much you want her to irritate you and disrupt your life.

If you don't return her "stuff" she probably will sue you for its value. You have a duty to safeguard her belongings unless and until you send her a letter and tell her otherwise. Rent has nothing to do with this - unless you asked her to pay rent and she didn't. Sounds like there never was a "pay rent" agreement.

If she sues you the Judge will hear both sides of the story and she'll either be awarded the value of her belongings or not.

Do I think she's being unreasonable? Certainly. Would I want her in my house, picking up her stuff - and possibly half of my stuff? No. It's a mixed issue.

angelaM1985 · Sep 22, 2008, 08:58 AM

If she did not stay with u for more than 30 days u can kick her out and not worry about a thing

JudyKayTee · Sep 22, 2008, 08:59 AM

Originally Posted by angelaM1985

if she did not stay with u for more than 30 days u can kick her out and not worry about a thing

First, the OP wants to know what to do with the friend's belongings. The friend has technically left.

Second, you have posted incorrect legal advice. The friend has to be evicted.

If you have a site or case law that says something about the "more than 30 days" rule, please post it - this may vary from State to State.

Alty · Sep 22, 2008, 09:13 AM

I have a stupid question everyone.

Can she charge storage fees after a certain amount of time, once she's notified the friend to tell her to pick up her stuff? I've heard of people doing this, but of course I don't know which state it was in, or even if it was in the US.

rockinmommy · Sep 22, 2008, 10:43 AM

Originally Posted by Altenweg

I have a stupid question everyone.

Can she charge storage fees after a certain amount of time, once she's notified the friend to tell her to pick up her stuff? I've heard of people doing this, but of course I don't know which state it was in, or even if it was in the US.

All of this stuff varies by state. Most state's laws that I've looked at regarding this issue do allow for some sort of storage fees to be imposed when certain notifications are given, etc. Generally, it would involve actually being reimbursed for paying the storage fees at a storage location. For example, at an apartment complex I own there are some storage units there available for rent. If I took up one of those units to store a former tenant's belongings I could charge storage fees. If I stacked all of their stuff up in the back room of my office that I wasn't really using anyway a judge would be unlikely to award me storage fees for that.

In a residential situation like this... probably not going to get a lot for storage fees.

rockinmommy · Sep 22, 2008, 12:51 PM

Originally Posted by suejim

Since I asked about this she called and left me a message to bring her things to mutual friends, if I didn't do it by a certain day she will take me to civil court because she did receive mail here. I don't feel it is my responsibility to get her things to her, she brought them here she can pick them up. Why should I spend my time and gas money on her things. She could of gotten her things anytime if she would of called me before. It has been 2 months. We called her back and left her a message for a day to pick up her things. She never paid us any rent and was living here for free because she didn't have a job. I am wondering if she does take me to court what can she do? She is the one who left her things here and never contacted me until 2 months later.

Legally, you are correct... it's not your responsibility to take her stuff to her. You should spend your time and gas, etc. Legally, as we discussed before, you have an obligation to notify her IN WRITING that you consider her belongings to be abandoned property and what you plan to do with it and when.

From a practical standpoint, taking her stuff to her is probably the fastest, cleanest way to get rid of her. You can stand on "what's right" and what you should and shouldn't have to do... or you can get it done and over with and move on with your new spouse, forget about her and her stuff and be happy.

One thing I will tell you without a shadow of doubt in my mind. Stop calling her. Communicate with her in WRITING!! If you follow the law, IN WRITING, your hiney will be covered should she drag you into court (however founded or unfounded her case may turn out to be.)

The thing that makes me just a bit nervous is that she may be trying to get a case together against you for unlawful eviction. You say you "kicked her out". Well, legally, you can't just kick someone out who has established themselves as a resident. You have to go through the lawful eviction procedure. Her comment to you that she received mail there, or whatever it was, tells me that someone has clued her in to the fact that she may have been unlawfully evicted. Some judges will write stuff like this off to a squabble between friends, tell her to go get her stuff and tell everyone involved to grow up and quit wasting their time. Other judges take it very seriously and will impose penalties in the "landlord" and the whole 9 yards.

Personally, I'd send her a written letter stating that you consider her belongings to be abandoned property, and that according to VA property code (quote what the law says you must do with it.) State that because you want this matter finished without further delay you will be delivering her belongings to (mutual friend's address, in the care of mutual friend, on date.) Then do just that. I'd take along a receipt that you and the person you hand the stuff over to will both sign and date stating that you turned her belongings over to them.

Then I'd go out and celebrate the fact that this non-friend is out of my life once and for all and move on and be happy with my fabulous new life and my fabulous new husband!!