[srulik86]

OK so me and my ex have been on and off rthe last 6 months then 3 weeks ago after spending months saying 'i don't know what I want' she said 'im not over you, ill get jealous all for ages, but I don't see it working long term, even though id be happy to come back next term to college and us to date'... which to me makes sense yet doenst make sense. Anywhew... its been 3 weeks, I blocked her on msn, Facebook, think she thinks I hate her. Last tetx I said to her said how I won't make thinsg awkard for her when she comes back in 3 weeks. Now I'm a 3rd year and she's a first year, I'm 21 and she's only 19. And now in just over a week she'll be back and I don't know what my bahviour should be. I still really love her and would love to get back with her but I know its not going to happen, espeiclaly if I go chasing her. In another 3 weeks time I leave for good. Which to me is very sad... but I don't know how she feels about that. Anywhew... do I just leave things, go back to college, avoid her, say hello, sort stuff out before through email/text... what should I do? Any help would be great.

[Marriedguy]

WHAT! This is the one of the dumbest things I ever heard. You emotions are clouding your judgment young pawadan.

She wants to get back with but she says she doesn't see it working out long term. Do you want to be in a short term relationship? No... You are in love her.

Call this girl up and you tell her you are not interested in being her play thing, if she wants that she has to find someone else for that BS. Tell her that you're interested in finding someone that you can love and that person has the capacity to recuperate it.

Don't contact her at all. If you see her semester you say hi and bye.

[tickle]

Just let it happen, don't plan, you cant. Her responses seem immature, so maybe she just doesn't know, or just isn't in to you.

Be spontaneous and you will know when you meet how you feel. If it doesn't reach your expectations maybe its for the good and you should move on. :)

[TallBlondie]

First off, I don't think that you should ever shut anyone out of your life completely. I would take things very slowly if I were either of you. I can definitely tell that neither of you know what you want out of this relationship. Maybe when you come back to school you should talk to her tell her something like. "I don't know what went wrong there. The thing is, I really like you and I want to be with you but I can't handle the emotional drama your flip-flopping ways. I am willing to work on this relationship from a different angle, we can be friends and we can date (nonexclusively) to see where this relationship is going to go." Sometimes its easier for the man of the relationship to let the girl decide how the whole thing is going to play out but it doesn't sound like this girl is mature or serious enough to handle that. Also, opening the doors to see other people as well as each other allows both of you to figure out exactly what it is that you'll want out of ANY relationship. You are both young and have plenty of time to decide what is right before graduation, marriage & other big life choices so its probably best to make sure that the next few years aren't awkward as hell by repairing and remodeling this whole relationship.

[talaniman]

I think your better served leaving her alone, and building your own life around the things you enjoy. She doesn't want what you want.

Don't contact her at all. If you see her semester you say hi and bye.

Your best answer to avoid any confusion, drama, false hope, and more heartache.

[Marriedguy]

I have to disagree! Tallbondie, if a person is not emotionally ready to deal with the troubles of a relationship they should be in a relationship period.

Just an example: I'm only interested in sexually part of a relationship is it OK for me to go out and date woman that want something more than just sex?

NO... the same rule applies to her. It doesn't necessary have to be sex, it's his time. Why would he go back into an on and off relationship with a partner that states well I want to date but honestly I don't think it end well. She is not even putting her best foot forward.

I understand with education, career, and life in general it's hard to maintain a healthy relationship.

You are trying to create a gray area of existence to this relationship and there is none. It's her god giving right to flip-flop but why would anyone want to be with a flip-flopper.

We are either going be together and see where it goes or we are not together. He wants to be with her and doesn't want to be with him right now. But she is human she misses him; she misses his company and the companionship. She is using him and he doesn't mine being used because he is in love with her, he will settle for whatever she can give him.

Leave her alone let her decided whether not she wants to be in a relationship if she decides that she wants to be in relationship fine. But don't wait for her to stop flip-flopping it may never happen.

Thanks.. for the support Talaniman

[srulik86]

Marriedguy your right! I agree with everything your saying. My big question is what do I do when I go back. Do I just leave it, say hi when I see her and that's that... or do I get in contact before syaing hi... etc or since I only have 3 weeks left at college ever, do I just avoid her, ignore her and get one with doing my own thing. I don't want her to think she can't contact me if she wants to. But maybe its best I just don't give her the time of day. Right now she thinks I hate her and has odne the last 3 weeks. I think.

[ChrisStryfe]

You get with her, you're going to end up getting hurt in the end. Huge warning is posted all over the place, you can't ignore it!

Jeff Buckley's lyrics from Forget Her - "She was trouble from the moment that you met her"

Keep that in mind

[srulik86]

OMG - THAT IS THE SONG I'VE BEEN LISTENING TO EVER SINCE WE FIRST SPLIT! Seriously and those are the exact lyrics that stayed with me... and your so right! It's just so hard at the moment. Espeiclaly right now when a lot of good things career wise are happening to me and I just want to share it all with her which sounds sappy but its true. I even told her that 'in the words of jeff buckley I need to just forget her'... and in there words of ben harper I've got to just 'walk away'.

[ChrisStryfe]

You're in my situation, somewhat. You feel that you want to share every good things you have with your 'significant other'. That's how love works anyway. You eat something good, experience something nice, and you feel inside you that you should share these things with this person. Wait it out, you don't need another person to enjoy many things in life. Remember you spent a good part of your life by yourself. You can live without her. Now I just need to listen to my own advices. Its easy to give advices but hard to follow them when I'm on the same boat.

[ISneezeFunny]

You are both young and have plenty of time to decide what is right before graduation

EXACTLY why there's no need to stick around for drama. He has plenty of time to find girls who actually KNOW they want to be with him.

[FilthyDFC]

Just let it happen, dont plan, you cant. Her responses seem immature, so maybe she just doesnt know, or just isnt in to you.

Basically man, I mean... everyone has knows what the right thing to do in these situations usually, but that doesn't change your feelings or how you're going to behave and feel about her.

I was in a similar ordeal with an ex-girlfriend whom I still cared about, and was still extremely attracted to. She came to visit and I guess she felt the same way because within the first hour of seeing each other, we were practicing how to make babies... I ended up getting back together with her for another like 7 months while we were both going to school, long distance-ish, like 3 hours away. When I graduated, and went home it was clear that it wasn't going to work, she came home on break, and we broke up.

It doesn't sound like you're in any situation to realistically get back together with her though, and you might just have to muscle it out. If she thinks that you hate her, then it won't be an issue of her being intrusive. Everyone is going to tell you that you're young and you have plenty of time to figure things out, but again, that's not going to change your feelings and how you behave in the situation. Just remember that you at least have an idea of what you should do with it... just base yourself off that, go with the flow, and don't burn any bridges. I can tell you from experience that people can change, but again... in this situation, don't hype yourself up on anything... because yea, someone's probably going to get hurt :/.