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GPALONE · Mar 31, 2008, 06:56 PM

Hi, I am confused. I have been married for 4 years now and am separated. We have a 2 and a half year old son. Recently we talked and she said she wants to try and repair our marriage, I always wanted to. The next time we talked she said she did not know what she wanted. Right after we separated she had a guy. After we talked about trying to repair our marriage she told him that they were done. Now I see and here that they are back at it. Should I bother trying and wait for her or should I move on. I do not know what to do? I still love her and want to make it work and have a normal family. Is there someone that has been in this situation and can help me make the right choice or lead me in the right direction? Help please?
Gpalone

N0help4u · Mar 31, 2008, 07:11 PM

If you find someone to move on with then move on.
If you don't then if and when she makes up her mind that she wants back with you you can decide one way or the other.
I would get out and get a life and take one day at a time. Whatever you do don't just sit there waiting on her. You could waste your whole life waiting on someone that may never come back. Then even if she did no guarantee it would work out.

GPALONE · Mar 31, 2008, 09:10 PM

Originally Posted by N0help4u

If you find someone to move on with then move on.
If you don't then if and when she makes up her mind that she wants back with you you can decide one way or the other.
I would get out and get a life and take one day at a time. Whatever you do don't just sit there waiting on her. You could waste your whole life waiting on someone that may never come back. Then even if she did no guarantee it would work out.

Yes thank you. That is what I thought, but I guess I was second guessing myself. I was going to spend a bunch of money to see if there was something I was missing with counciling, but I guess the truth is looking right at me heah, I just have to move on

Nyorovita · Apr 1, 2008, 12:19 AM

I suggest that you move on. I have gone through that same situation. Tried to work things out with her but I realised that all that was lost time. I have since divorced (painful as it is) moved on, remarried and now have a happy family around me. But take of the innocent child and I assure you one day will be happy again. I know its difficult but be strong.

Mom of 2 · Apr 1, 2008, 12:34 AM

You could try counseling and to be able to tell yourself that you tried everything. However, from the sounds of it, she does not know what she wants and this would not be condusive to counseling. She would be setting you up for inevitable failure after you spent a lot of money for nothing. I am a true believer that once a cheat, always a cheat. I don't care if you guys were separated, I still think that since she had a relationship with someone else while you are still technically married, it is still the same as cheating.

I would suggest that you move on with your life. I am divorced and yes, it can be very hard. However, life does get better. I could not imagine still being married to the ex. It would have been the death of me emotionally. I have grown so much since then and I am so much happier now. Sure, it is hard being a single parent, but it is so much better than still living with him.

Good luck to you. Know that you are not alone and things will get better. Think positive and always keep your child in the forefront of your mind in everything that you do.