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ja29990 · Mar 20, 2008, 12:21 PM

IM SORRY FOR THE REALLY LONG MSG... BUT I REALLY NEED HELP... IM NOT READY TO GIVE UP ON HER... PLEASE HELP ME OUT PPL... (dont just view this post... give me your say on it... may it be just 1 line or so).

I'm a 17yr old guy... my girlfriend.. or ex.. is 16... we went out for 1yr and 3 months.. and on d 5th of march.. she broke up with me.. sayin she didn't want to be in a relationship anymore and that she didn't love me anymore.d relationship wasn't giving her happiness.. she had to figure herself out 1st.. she just grew out of it... I tried getting answers... but in vain... n now after about 2weeks she already likes some guy... ill be honest.. im not acting proud or anything.. but he's nothing compared to me...
.. btw... this same time... last yr... she broke up with me.. coz she was confused about her feelings for me.and that the relationship wasn't giving her happiness.. then after 22days... she came back saying that she figured out her feelings for me and that SHE LOVED ME... apparently... me being the sweet nice guy.. I was always there for her... so she took me for granted..

I gave this girl my best... I was always there for her.. I did a lot for her... I loved her with all my heart... I gave her most of my time.. I was true to her.. I didn't look at other girls sideways.. I made her my everything... I made her my world... I did everything other girls want their guys to do for them... I did everything for this girl... then what happened??
We were serious with each other.. I didn't get there alone... she did want to get serious too so it wasn't a 1way train.. she promised me things AGAIN.. I did too and I kept up to them.. she gained her trust in me and while we were together.. I know what we had was special... there was love.. understanding... turst... EVERYTHING...
And after all that's happened... IM STILL IN LOVE WITH HER... I keep blaming myself for it... coz maybe if I didn't do too much again... she wouldn't have taken me for granted again... if that's the case i.e... maybe she's confused again... I don't know... n I really don't want to blame her for anything... because she is a great girl... shes really sweet and stuff... I don't know what's making her change... n I really won't accept it that she used me... coz I know what we had was really special... since she's 16... maybe she is really confused and stuff... but then again she likes some guy and he likes her too.. they aren't going out though... AND... AFTER SHE CAME BACK.. TELLIN ME THAT SHE NOW KNOWS THAT SHE LOVES ME... WHY DID SHE GO AWAY AGAIN?? DID I DO SOMETHING WRONG?? she gave me every reason to trust her again... WE HAD A GR888888888 RELATIONSHIP!! THEN WHAT WENT WRONG?? :s

Today I'm stuck... ppl keep telling me that she is really happy with her life... n here I am... totally sad... lifes come to a halt... it hurts a lot... n at times I feel like screwing her happiness or smthn because she has left me this way and is acting as if nothing happened... I won't do anything like that though.. n I really hope the way I'm feeling is normal.. she seems totally happy with her life... IT SEEMS LIKE I HURT HER... I Wasn't THERE FOR HER N STUFF... THEN I GUESS SHE HAS EVERY RIGHT TO BE HAPPY N ENJOY... BUT IT Wasn't LIKE THAT.. I WAS ALWAYS THERE FOR HER.. I ALWAYS CARED FOR HER AND LOVED HER..!. and the happiness she is getting of being free... I think that's pretty much temporary.well... I hope.. im sorry.. I know I'm acting a little selfish.. but I can't just give up on her.. she means everything to me..
And even after all this happening I still wouldn't hesitate to take her back.. I still love her as much as I did... and I can bet anyone on it that what I did for this girl... the love I gave her... no guy can ever do that much for her... we don't talk or message... coz whenever she see's me... she feels all guilty for doing what she did and therefore gets irritated... so msgn and being friends and stuff is out of the question... I doubt I can compromise on being just her friend though... but why is she feeling guilty...
.. so is there any hope for me?. will she probably realise her feelings again and come back... yes I'm a FOOL... I still want her back... im willing to do everything... maybe make her fall in love with me again... given a chance... coz that guys trying his best to get on her side... and I can't do a thing because I'm guessin.. tryin to get her right now will only push her away from me...

Please don't ask me to move on... this girl means everything to me... n no.. I wasn't just kiddin around with her... I really really loved her... infact I still do... its like... "forgetting some1 you love is like remembering some1 u have never met"

PLEASE HELP!! she also told me this... that even is she probably gets her feelings back... she will try not to come back because she thinks the same thing will happen again...

Its doesn't have to right>>?. things can be different... and I fear that instead of coming back... she might have to compromise and settle for another guy./... I don't want that

Farmerjohn692000 · Mar 20, 2008, 12:36 PM

Well bud, I'm sorry to say but this is part of being a teen and falling in love. IF things don't work out then you will have to let go. But don't waste your time feeling sorry and bad, HAve fun, meet new people. Believe me only one in a few HS Flings last forever, but trust me you will meet lots of others that will make you feel like this. And trust me in time you will meet the one who is right for you and who feels you are right for them. This is not the end of the world and yes it hurts a lot but in time you will feel better, and things will run smoother. Good luck

canefan1012 · Mar 20, 2008, 12:38 PM

ja29990, Hey buddy, well I know exactly what you're going through and pretty recently too. My girl broke up with me after 2 yrs just last month in february. First of all DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF!!! I did that as well, I blamed the failure of my relationship on a couple of problems that I had such as jealousy. It's not all your fault. I too am the nice guy that wanted to give her everything and blamed myself because she was an amazing girl. There just really isn't a real answer as to why she broke up with you. People change, the girl that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with suddenly acted differently once she went to college which was last semester. It really sucks because i wanted to keep fighting for her love but you realize that its time to move on. Give it time if you still want to pursue but I think that for now there's nothing you can but move on with your life and give yourself that time to grow as a person. It took me atleast a month to really get to where I am now. Before that time I cried everyday and wanted to talk to her. Its the most devastating feeling but you need to not speak to her anymore because that's the only way that you can heal. I didn't think I would ever move on but I have taken huge steps to recover. You will be fine with time. Please don't blame yourself anymore because it just makes it worse.

ja29990 · Mar 20, 2008, 12:45 PM

... Sooooooooo there's no hope... but why?. I mean... I don't know... she promised me so much... and she got me there... she asked me to get serious... I didn't mind because I loved her a lot... she took me to the peak of this mountain... and again!! Just dropped me down from there... and it really hurts to see her all happy and acting as if nothing happened... this sounds stupid... but with time... will she realise what she has done,, and are there even the smallest possibilities of her coming back??

... or should I just go and crack her head along with that loser guy she likes?? :) jokes apart... im 10times better than him... thats what all my girl friends told me... then what did she see in him..? :s

ja29990 · Mar 20, 2008, 12:48 PM

Sometimes its like I want her to know how much pain she has caused me... how much she has hurt me... thats the only reason why I feel like messin around with her life and causing her little troubles.. I want to see her sad or smth like that... im sorry... I know it's a temporary thing... thats why I'm not doing anything like that...

Farmerjohn692000 · Mar 20, 2008, 12:49 PM

Originally Posted by ja29990

................................Sooooooooo theres no hope.....but why??????????????????????????????????????????????. ... i mean.....i dunno....she promised me so much....and she got me there...she asked me to get serious...i didnt mind coz i loved her alot....she took me to the peak of this mountain...and again!!!! just dropped me down from there......and it really hurts to see her all happy and actin as if nothin happened..............................this sounds stupid....but with time....will she realise what she has done,,,,,and are there even the smallest possibilities of her comin back?????????

....or should i just go and crack her head along with that loser guy she likes????:) jokes apart.....im 10times better than him...thats what all my girl frnds told me...then what did she see in him......??????? :s

The other dude is right, it takes times, just be patient and don't crack no heads, that won't get you anywhere

ja29990 · Mar 20, 2008, 12:51 PM

Yeaaaaaahhhhh... I won't crack their heads... I wanted too... but I know its wrong... but if she could only see how much she has hurt me and how much she means to me... I think she already knows it... and why does she feel guilty to face me??

canefan1012 · Mar 20, 2008, 12:55 PM

My gf did the same thing. She made me promise her to never leave and that she wanted to be with me forever. She broke up with me and within a week she had a new bf. I was so confused and still till today that she was able to move on and forget me so quickly. I'm here suffering while she says that she is the happiest she's ever been and that bothered me so much. There's no clear cut answer for this. She was the one always talking about decorating a place of our own and a wedding ring. Remember also that she's only 16 also, your ex has a lot of changing and growing up to do through. Sometimes change is needed and she may need to see what else is out there. She may come back to you but she may not.

ja29990 · Mar 20, 2008, 01:03 PM

But... ppl say that if she comes back... shes yours..!. she did come back!! AFTER REALIZING HER FEELINGS FOR ME! Why did she have to go again?? and then what was it that she realised?? :'(... she spoke about kids!. I did give her a ring too... its weird you know... yup... things are changing as she grows... but I never tied her down to anything... I supported her in everything she did... why doesn't she realise everything now... im not a pair of jeans that she tries on... checks other ones and then picks the one that fits her the best!.

But I'm pretty sure I'm the best fit:) I've loved her with all my heart... I still do... I really hope she comes back...

ja29990 · Mar 20, 2008, 01:27 PM

She also told me this... that even is she probably gets her feelings back... she will try not to come back because she thinks the same thing will happen again...

Its doesn't have to right>>?. things can be different... and I fear that instead of coming back... she might have to compromise and settle for another guy./... I don't want that

TrueFaith · Mar 20, 2008, 02:13 PM

If someone does not want to be with you

There is Nothing. NOTHING! You can do to make them be with you.. short of tieing them up. No One has the power of Free WILL.

Your young it hurts I know but you can not change peoples feelings. This is a good lesson to learn at your age.

Have some pride man and walk away.. you can't get what you want all the time

You have seemed to reply with ltos of buts and what ifs.. sadly there is nothing you can say or we can say that will make you feel better at this point. We don't want to be beating a dead horse here. So take in what everyone has said. And not reply to everything going why why it can work out.

We all have hope. But its un healthy to think the way you do

ja29990 · Mar 20, 2008, 02:26 PM

OK... ok... I get your point... just a lilltle confused... ok maybe really confused...

I mean... she wanted me all along... for 1yr and 3 months... and suddenly her feelings started changing in a week?? Is it even possible?? Its really weird... how can a persons feelings change to such an extent?? And what was it that I had in a relationship with her?? Because she really did make me feel loved and appreciated... and... hmmmmmm... yup... ill stop replying after this.. ill just wait and see what people have to say.. im trying to move on.. I really am.. thanks for everything... really appreciate it...

canefan1012 · Mar 20, 2008, 03:10 PM

that is what i really wonder. how can a person's feelings change to such an extremity. for two years all she ever talked about us being together forever and then she changed her mind. its not easy at all dude. if i've learned anything from my first love is that no matter what you can't think things won't change. i was used to having her in my life and the most important person. you learn to not take things for granted. i mean in my heart i stil want to be with her because i love her so much but she made a decision and i have to accept that. whether she's right or wrong or whether or not she will come to realize that whoever she's with doesn't love or care about her more than i do is all up to her. if you love something you should let it free and if its meant to be they will come back to you. all we can ever do is try and move on with our lives.