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Krystina1987 · Mar 16, 2008, 02:07 PM

Okay first I will say me and my boyfriend are not married and haven't been married. Well my boyfriend is going for joint custody and I want to go for Full custody. And I was wondering what are the odds that I will win full custody. PLEASE REPOND!!

N0help4u · Mar 16, 2008, 02:20 PM

You would have to prove he is unfit and that can be hard because you would have to have a good bit of proof to back it up. If there is any chance that he is not the dad you can say you want a paternity test. Other than that all you can do is tell him you are going to file for child support and see you in court and let the Judge sort it all out.

ScottGem · Mar 16, 2008, 02:31 PM

I would say your odds are not very good. But you also need to understand what custody means. There are two types of custody, legal and physical. Legal custody has to do with the parent having a say in how the child is raised. If the father wants to be part of the child's life and isn't a danger to the child, then I see no reason he wouldn't get joint legal custody.

Physical custody refers to who the child will live with. There you have a much stronger case. While he will probably get some visitation, you should retain full physical custody.

Krystina1987 · Mar 16, 2008, 02:33 PM

Doesn't the mother get Joint Physical Custody no matter what.. But she can give some of it to the father only if she wants?

N0help4u · Mar 16, 2008, 02:37 PM

Joint custody is referred more to the parent that does not have the main custody.
Like if he files for joint custody the child would live with you and he would be awarded weekends, holidays, however the Judge splits it. You two can work out a plan together and present it to the Judge. He would also have a say in medical and school things and whatever.
You would have to inform him on things such as school events, doctors appts, etc...

Krystina1987 · Mar 16, 2008, 02:44 PM

Like what do I have to prove to get Full Custody. So far I don't know if this helps but I have like the house where he lives which is his parents is unfit not clean, dirty, and there's smoking which is bad for a infant, and once he was admitted for saying that he was going to kill himself and I have that he is biapolar... im trying to think if any of that will help...

N0help4u · Mar 16, 2008, 02:45 PM

All you can do is document all your concerns and maybe mention in court that you want Child Protective Services to check the house to see if they feel it is fit or unfit. Usually the parent has to have some really serious issues though.

ScottGem · Mar 16, 2008, 02:56 PM

Originally Posted by Krystina1987

Doesnt the mother get Joint Physical Custody no matter what..But she can give some of it to the father only if she wants?

Generally the mother is awarded Physical Custody. In the absence of a court petition its assumed that the mother will have physical custody. But the father is certainly entitled to petition for joint custody and for visitation. If you can prove the home environment is unsafe, you may be able to limit him to supervised visitation.

Fr_Chuck · Mar 16, 2008, 04:05 PM

Ok, first it is not for the mother to "give" anything to the father, it is the judge who decides, often against the wishes of the mother,
And the mother does not always just get the child, if the mother is a crack head living on the street no, she does not, and if the father proves the mother unfit, he can get full custody away from the mother.
So while normally the mother gets at least joint custody, there is no for sure after that.

Krystina1987 · Mar 16, 2008, 04:07 PM

And what would he have to prove that I am unfit? I don't do drugs or anything bad

N0help4u · Mar 16, 2008, 04:11 PM

You should be fine you HAVE had full custody with no problems.
You say he wants joint custody the best thing you can do is cooperate and work out an agreement with him and file for child support if you aren't getting it. Tell the Judge your concerns and the Judge will most likely rule you as physical custody and him joint custody with possible provisions like getting the house clean or whatever.
If he tried to claim you as unfit the Judge would most likely see straight through that.