[trujew]

Hi Ruby07:

We share a lot in common. I too, am in a similar situation. The difference with me is that my ex husband wants me back and I am really hesitant about it. What's even more interesting, is that I still have love for my ex boyfriend too. Ugghh... it all sucks no matter how you look at it.

But here's the thing for you, and this holds true for me, if you are suffering more than laughing, than you have your answer. From your post, it already sounds like you made up your mind.

Look, you seem like you are a very bright person and you have your head on straight. You are going places and you can't stop now. This crap is just holding you back. Believe me, I had this same dillemma come up for me around my ex boyfriend. I was totally in love with him like no kidding!! He just wasn't interested in a committed relationship even though everything he said sounded like he was. I gave him chance after chance to work on things and he chose the later.

We always feel like no one else will come along for us but they do. You will meet so many people (I am sure of that) you can't see that but it will happen. For me, I'm probably much older than you or at least by ten years or so; which makes dating for me harder than it would be for you.

Why would you want to be in a relationship now anyway? You are on your way to bigger and better things. But to be compassionate for you, I do really get where you are at. It's tough (believe me). Love never discriminates. We can't help who we fall in love with but if this guy isn't aligning with your life, don't spend more time with him. Believe me, the pain will be there a while!! But everyday things get a little bit better. Stop the intimacy and you will see that the emotional stuff will eventually dwindle.

Lastly, allow yourself to CRY!! Cry, cry, cry and start changing your thought processes around like look at why you are better off without him. You have to use reverse psychology too.

All the best...

[ruby07]

He has no idea how depressed I am. If I tell him how upset I am, he usually says I'm being dramatic and not to be dependent on him. I have told myself to let him do things on his own. I'm okay with that, but not responding to my texts and not calling for over a week worries me. When we talked last, everything was perfect. I don't know what went wrong. I'm tempted to call him and find out, but maybe I shouldn't?

[talaniman]

Things have never been perfect, and you and this guy fizzled last year, but somebody, maybe both just can't let go. You are far more emotional, than he is and he is far more independent, than you are. Hey this ain't happening between you, so take a long break, and leave him alone, and do not contact him. I really can't believe you haven't dumped him a long, long time ago. You don't need encouragement, you need a rehab, because your addicted, and not in love. That's right, you don't love YOURSELF, enough to do what's best for you, and haven't for a long time. End this. No more excuses.

[susangpyp]

The best thing is to let him go and you CAN let him go, but you are choosing not to do so.

You have to decide that you are more important than him or your relationship. You can do this. You can move but you have to decide to move.

Right now you are deciding not to decide. You can choose to move on. Turn it off and move on.