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tara chobadi · Nov 17, 2007, 03:44 PM

I think human being should not be limited to only one spouse for all his life. In other words, seeking variety exists in everyone. The question is that with a family having some children how can you have sex out of your marriage without destroying your family foundation.

NowWhat · Nov 17, 2007, 04:24 PM

You can't. If you don't want a commitment to one person - don't get married.

Ladyviper · Nov 17, 2007, 04:25 PM

In a monogamous relationship you cannot do this without hurting someone. If you are going to have an open marriage, it has to be agreed on by the both of you. Also, when you have intimate relations with other people you risk getting emotionally attached to them too. Try a swingers party and see what comes of that. If you can get your spouse to go, you may find out that they are into it too.

I share your feelings with this, with so many beautiful people in the world attraction is something you feel on a daily basis. I am also married, and I still want to experience what other men have to offer sexually. I want it to end at sex though, I stay away from men that will cling because I am not looking for a mate.

NowWhat · Nov 17, 2007, 04:27 PM

Does your husband share your views?

Ladyviper · Nov 17, 2007, 04:29 PM

Absolutely not!

NowWhat · Nov 17, 2007, 04:32 PM

Have you explored other options while married?

I just don't think there is any such thing as an open marriage.
If you want to be with more than one person and you know that about yourself - why get married. Someone is bound to get hurt.

Ladyviper · Nov 17, 2007, 04:48 PM

I don't see where it is relevant to know if I have explored other options or not. It is something that I think about daily, and it isn't about wanting to be with more than one person. I don't want to be with anyone else, I just want to have sex with other people. At the end of the day I want to come home to my husband, sit on the couch and talk about our day, watch our favorite shows, and cook dinner together. It is not a bad relationship, and we get along great, I just want to have sex with other people.

NowWhat · Nov 17, 2007, 04:53 PM

I guess our views are totally different. This is a part of yourself that you can not share with your husband. Your desires.

I guess I see it as, if you were getting totally fulfilled - you would feel the need to have sex with other people.

Fr_Chuck · Nov 17, 2007, 06:42 PM

I guess how would you feel if your wife had already explored those options herself, how would you deal with those emotions.

A person in love with his wife does not have those feelings ( at least not serously)

Ladyviper · Nov 17, 2007, 07:06 PM

The fact that it would tear him up, is the only reason I have not acted on those feelings. I don't want to see him hurt for reasons that have nothing to do with him or his behavior. To hurt him like that would be completely selfish on my part.

NowWhat · Nov 17, 2007, 07:11 PM

And what is "free" sex? Is anything free? There is always a price to pay. Is it worth it?

If you are talking about sex outside of the marriage - it is a huge price to pay. For what?

Free? What is that?

mjl · Nov 20, 2007, 04:03 PM

Are you crazy?! If you want to sleep around why did you get married?

donf · Nov 20, 2007, 05:44 PM

First of all, marriage is not just about free sex! Are you tried of paying for sex? Sex is a part of marriage, however, it is probably a small part. But a very dangerous part for those who want to be both married and single at the same time. When you marry, you "Vow" to one another your fidelity.

If your "Vow" means nothing to you and your current partner's is worth nothing as well, then you have a match made in misery.

Don't waste your time with marriage after all,"Why by the cow when the milk is given to you for free?" Oh, and by the way, you are apparently willing to share yourself with anyone that meets your criteria, so go ahead

shygrneyzs · Nov 20, 2007, 06:21 PM

If you want an open marriage then make sure your partner is totally on board with it - viewpoints change after the vows and a child or two. If you are worried about the family foundation, then think again about having the family.

letmetellu · Nov 20, 2007, 07:23 PM

Originally Posted by Ladyviper

The fact that it would tear him up, is the only reason I have not acted on those feelings. I don't want to see him hurt for reasons that have nothing to do with him or his behavior. To hurt him like that would be completely selfish on my part.

I like the fact that you realize that it would tear your husband apart if you did act on those feelings, but have you thought even if your husband was OK with the idea, and you did act on on your feelings that there are others that might be torn apart by your actions. One might be the wife of the person that you had sex with or it could be the person himself that has sex with you, there is always a possibility that he might fall in love with you, and if you didn't love him his world would be ruined.

s_cianci · Nov 20, 2007, 07:26 PM

You can't.

donf · Nov 21, 2007, 08:20 AM

Tara,

I was just thinking, where can I get some of that free sex. My wife just told me its fine with her if I abandon her for any gal in town. Why she even told me she was glad that I'll not be pestering her every chance I get and that I'll be using our money to wo and bed another woman for free sex.

What a great deal. I can get all of the above and have my wife be happy about it if I just go to a doctor she chooses for an autopsy. Live or dead would be her optional selections.

Hummm, somehow this doesn't seem like quite a good deal as I originally believed.