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Rose Tainted Ebony · Aug 2, 2007, 06:49 PM

My whole life everyone has been like sex is bad you should wait blah blah blah... I have been waiting. Now, I'm 19 and people are all shocked because I'm still a virgin. The problem is I'm afraid now. I've been waiting for so long and I'm so used to it being a bad thing that I've built up a phobia. Now when ever someone seems like they want to have sex with me I freeze up and try to find something else to do. I really want to and I've had a lot of offers from a lot of people ranging from people I really care about to people I hardly know. People say I have an amazing body and they can't believe I'm still a virgin. I always pretend like I'm saving myself 4 marriage be I'm just really scared. I don't know what to do!! Any suggestions?

jrb252000 · Aug 2, 2007, 07:03 PM

When your with the right person it will naturally happen. Make sure it is with someone you love and that loves you back. Take your time and take it slow.

mahm6266 · Aug 2, 2007, 10:36 PM

I agree with jrb. I think shouldn't let people get to you. Everyone has their own preferences. I don't think you have any type of phobia or anything like u mentioned. It's just something that will come to you as time passes by. When u meet the right man like jrb said, you will see that you will naturally feel like doing something with him and then it won't be such a big deal. Just relax. You have your whole life ahead of you to overcome this "phobia" of yours sweety. I am 20 and I am still a virgin if that makes you feel any better. =)

ramblinguy · Aug 5, 2007, 04:47 PM

I also agree with JRB. You are who you are based quite often on circumstance and what life deals you. I was 19 for my first "official" time. When the right situation arises it will be easy if you have strong feelings and are able to let yourself go. It's totally, completely irrelevant what others thinK!!

smoothy · Aug 6, 2007, 06:51 AM

I agree, wait till you are ready. You will know when it's that time. Don't let anyone push you into it.

When you are ready its going to feel natural and you'll be somewhat relaxed.

shatteredsoul · Aug 6, 2007, 08:13 AM

Maybe you being scared of taking the big plunge is your way of protecting yourself. Anyone who has lost their virginity too early knows that it reaps you of your innocence and you are never the same. I think it's a damn good thing you haven't wasted your body on some moron, that you would have regretted already. Sex isn't bad and you will have to overcome those fears and issues surrounding your view of it. However, it does take time. You will have to change the messages in your head that make you think its wrong and immoral. It is a beautiful way of sharing love and creating life. It should be something you do freely and without reservation. YOu will know when you want to do it with someone. IT doesn't always go the way we want to, but you are an adult now. This means you can decide if the time is right. Trust your judgment, know you are a good person and when you are ready to make the decision, know that you have had the time to make the right choice. Don't hesitate to enjoy your life sexually, it just has to come slowly, with time, and with someone you really trust with your body. OH, I am sure you know to be safe. I think many people wish they could have their virginity at 19 because when you are a few years younger, you don't really know what you are doing anyway. It is usually not that enjoyable and you feel guilty after. No guilt for you!!