[missbeach123]

Ok well things got bad. Never mind, the call meant nothing. He does not want me and he pretty much exploded on me. He is such an . We are meeting for coffee on Saturday, there must be something wrong with me, I practically am making him meet me, but yet there's nothing to say. WOW can you say ten steps back? I really feel worse than EVER. Geez, what the hell am I going to say to him on Saturday, he does not want me anymore, god there is nothing brilliant I can possibly say? Wow Im starting to really hate myself, I look psycho to him.

[emopunk7]

Just cancel the meeting!

[diya]

Just cancel the meeting!

I couldn't agree less on this. I did the same, held a forced meeting long time ago, and guess what happened? He didn't even look at me... very cold and insulting. And all I got to hear was that it was all my fault... r u willing to hear all that crap? Listen, don't run after relationships especially if they have been strained... r/s r to be worked on from both ends and when both ends are ready to do this, you will know and it will happen. Why don't you just wait for right things to happen in your life than the wrong ones... trust me, if he would be interested, he will call you back but if not, then my girl, by you calling him will surely push him away further and I suggest, in the meantime, prepare yourself mentally that it was not meant to be... and do your own things... lots to do right?

[sypher373]

Its probably best that you not call him as you did for a while. Although it hasn't bothered you quite so much, it obviously has you thinking a lot about him, which you really shouldn't be. "The last thing you should be doing at this point is thinking about him. your best bet is to try and move on, and by keeping him fresh in your mind, you might be setting yourself up for failure.

I know the feeling of "excitement" at the thought of a reconciliation in the future, but I also know the feeling of that being ripped away all too welll...

Please be careful

[talaniman]

What he says is irrelevant. What he does is irrelevant. How he feels is irrelevant. Him and the skank irrelevant. What's relevant is your healthy and healing and moving on. Leave the bum and miss skank alone and worry about YOU.

[missbeach123]

So I really have done it this time, just so you all know, your comments are not wasted, I printed them out so I can read them when I'm feeling weak. I think I'm going to talk to a therapist too, well after you hear this you might agree I should...

I went to the "meeting" on Saturday. I spent a lot of time getting ready, looking my best. He met me in the harbor, because he didn't want to go anywhere on either of our grounds. Let me remind you guys, he did not want this meeting, it was something I pushed for, nay demanded.

When I got into his truck, he would bearly look at me. A friend of mine coached me on this one, it was like my last effort. I wanted to see if he really was completely over me. I talked nothing about us, our fights, the skank, I sat there, looked cute, and made small talk. I could tell he was fighting not looking at me, and I caught him looking me over when I would look out the side window. He told me about his day, warmed up more, asked about my life, which I said was "really coming together for me" with a smile. I offered, "hey lets get a bite to eat, I'm a bit hungry". He wouldn't, he said he'd already eaten. I didn't want to push things, because the more I discover about my ex, the more I realize he doesn't want to be pushed into a decision, he wants no responsibility these days because of how serious things were getting between us before it broke off.

I learned one thing, I run my mouth too much, so I did a lot of looking, listening, and smiling. I wanted him to see the down to earth girl he fell in love with in the first place. 20 minutes passed, and I felt the need to end the meeting on my own time, as to look completely okay with not proding him into taking me back. As I was hoping out of the truck, I offered, "you know, you could come over and watch some LOST with me, I just got the season on tape" to which he replied, to my complete shock "ya, okay see you there".

I felt victorious, like I had melted the wall that he put up. It felt great to use my womanly charms and careful construction of light conversation and silence to warm him up, like I used to be able to. IT FEELS LIKE A GAME, NOT SO MUCH ABOUT THE Result, BUT THE DISTRIBUTION OF POWER, and this is why I'm going to tlak to someone, because this could never be a healthy relationship ever again. BUT for the stories sake, please read on to enjoy the debauchery that followed

Once at my house... we sat on the coach, we were US again, or so it seemed. Two hours went by. I KNOW I DID THE WRONG THING, BUT READ ON. I felt his gazes, and asked if he was seeing that girl still. He said, "ya were dating, but its not serious and its not going to be, I STILL CARE ABOUT YOU" I held back tears, not even a glisten, but I wanted to cry because I had really believed that he was completely over me. Another hour went by, and here it comes. Oh the shame. I suggested the unsuggestable, to which he replied "won't that make things harder for us?" I just wanted to be close to him again, and there was no reasoning happening in my head at this point. The experience messed with my head even more, because of all the slow kissing and tenderness that was there. This was not the kind of bang-were-done sex that two people who just want sex have. This was like a complete reverting for the night, but only for the night.

When I asked him to leave because I was meeting friends, I kind of lost it. He said, "what, see? I knew this wouldn't be good" and I said, "It wasn't the sex, its that, I still really care for you" and long pause, gazing eyes. "I'm not asking you for anything, " I said, " but I don't like sharing". And then I shut up. He couldn't walk away, his face became red, eyes glassy which is very uncharacteristic. He must have stood over the chair I was sitting in for 5 minutes, my eyes were teared, but no crying or yelling. He leaned down, kissed me, and started to move for the door. When he was sitting in his truck outside, he sat there for 5 minutes, I was wondering why he was just sitting there. I could see him through the window just sitting motionless. I went to my door and call him back inside. I said, "things don't have to be like this" and I gave him a huge hug, and then shut the door.

He drove away. Im going to leave him alone now, but I don't know how to reason this. I know I mean a lot to him, and I thought his feelings were completely gone. I'm not sure what to make of this.

This morning I was driving home early from a friends house, and he (what are the odds) was behind me on the highway. I didn't notice until he got into the passing lane and I waved. He texted me saying "Looks like you must have slept at someones house last night, too drunk? Your never up this early" I replied "Thats not how it is" and left it at that.

I know its all drama, that I opened the door for when I slept with him yesterday, but I feel like I have the answers to some of the questions that were killing me. He does still love me but as he sees it, "we just can't be" and I respect that a whole lot more than him just wanting to mess around. Were long distance 9 mo out of the year, and young, so it all makes sense.

I was just hoping to have my man this summer, one last time before I went back for junior year. NC re-instated, I hope you enjoyed the story.

[dime B]

Yea he definitely said all that out of anger. You should give him space because you don't want to seem too available to him or else he will take you for grantit. "you dont know what you have untill it is gone". Definitely give him space and you need to keep your mind off it for now and smile and try to enjoy life (I know its hard and it is easier said than done) but be positive and give him his space for now. You should be happy and if he isn't making you happy then you could definitely do better, a healthy relationship is a happy one.

[missbeach123]

I never thought I'd be writing this post. About 5 months ago my boyfriend of three years broke up with me and started a relationship with a new girl. I was utterly devastated, I sunk into depression, and I cried everyday.

I'm here to report that I am now Ok and I have a new respect for the quiet workings of the world. I wasn't meant to be with my ex, and the breakup was actually a very good thing in retrospect. I met WONDERFUL guy, and we are in love. He treats me like a queen, and I never worry about what he's doing or have any insecurities (something that was a problem in my last relationship) because his actions show me he only has eyes for me. We've been together for almost 3 months now and although I thought maybe it was too soon to be in a relationship, it felt stupid to pass up on this wonderful chance at love simply because of a 'rule' that doesn't really apply to every situation. Everyone takes a certain amount of time to be ready to date again, and this guy (I hate to say it) helped me back into happiness and made me ready.

Where ever you are in your breakup now, just please think of the mystery the future holds for you! I am so HAPPY my ex never came back for me, because it might have caused me not to allow myself to see my new boyfriend. It's a breakup because its broken, and the person that will make you happy is truly just around the corner, you just have to be ready.

Thanks for all your support, I really appriciate everyone who posted and helped me when I was ultra low. Good Luck!

[GlindaofOz]

CONGRATULATIONS!!

Isn't this the BEST feeling? I'm so happy to hear that you are feeling good and are happy post break up.

[serena6878]

Wish You happiness forever!

[missbeach123]

It really is, like a fresh start, and I feel so grateful to be out of that dark stage! You only suffer as long as you allow yourself to, I've discovered. A famous quote about sadness "THIS TO SHALL PASS" and it always holds true

[GlindaofOz]

I hope that our folks who are now in their "darkest hours" will find some inspiration in your experience. Thanks so much for the update.

[SAB123]

Congrats... Hopefully in about 3-4 months I will be where you are at. I'm 6 1/2 months post breakup.

[Foxy459459]

I am so happy for you, and thank you for the advice, because this site really does help people with a lot of thing, just to know that you have people out there that care. Good luck to you and your new love. I wish lots and lots of happiness for the 2 of you.

[missbeach123]

I wrote about the breakup between my ex and I and a lot of you helped me through it. We've been broken up about 5 months, went out for three years... HEARTBROKEN after he broke up with me, and then shortly after got into a relationship with another girl, a down grade on all accounts... (easy, not too cute, un educated, clingy etc... )

I drunk dialed him when I was on vacation one month ago, but he didn't answer ( I assume he was with her). And the truth of the matter is I'm dating a guy I really like now, but my feelings for my ex are still so strong, and sometimes I want nothing more then him to contact me... WELL...

30 minutes ago I was doing some reading for college and he texted me. "hey whats up".. This is the first contact he made first the entire period we've been apart. I didn't text back but I couldn't stop starring at my phone. I know he doesn't really care what I'm doing, I see it as an attempt to talk to me. He's very stubborn and sticks to his convictions (especially stubborn in breaking up with me, in the first week he refused to see me and I couldn't get him to break).

Why the text? Does he still care? A man's opinion would be great. I heard through a mutual friend that he is annoyed with his rebound girl and he said that "she won't leave him alone" but yet his myspace says he's in a relationship. I know they are on the rocks.

Comments??

[friend4u178]

I would leave it and don't text back. Not only would it be silly to go back after you have done all this healing it's not really fair on the person you are dating at the moment. If he is annoyed with his current girl that's his problem , NOT YOURS.

[mckenzie134]

Hewants to check your still available. E may want you back. Stay silent if he really wants you hen he will let you know...

I wouldn't give him the time of day sounds like a creep...

[Trouble321]

I wouldn't say that he still cares... to me it sounds more like he wants to know you are still an option. Jumping from one relationship to another doesn't give the person the time to sort through their emotions. The rebound relationship is only filling that void left by the person before. If he realize the new girl isn't all she started to be, he will start to long for the confort he had when he was with you. Let's face it though, who wants to be with a guy who considered them comfortable? Sounds like you are doing the right thing by not responding. Keep moving forward and let the ex figure things out for himself.

[GlindaofOz]

You are moving on MissBeach and that's the important things. As everyone else here said he just wants to see if he can still pull you in hook, line and sinker. Problems arise with the rebound girl all of a sudden you don't look so bad. But honestly, after 5 months and him dating someone else there is no reason to go back to him. He really just wants to see if his options are open. Delete him out of your phone if necessary block the number.