[Sheetalsheetal]

I talked with him and broke up with him. I said I am very sorry. It is all my mistake. He is a very good guy and I hurted him a lot. He deserves better than me. I hate myself a lot for hurting him.

[smoothy]

What is it they say... play with fire expect to get burned. You cheated on him not once... but more than the 10 times or so you dry humped. Lines were crossed before you ever got that far.

Want to see what angry is... let him find out in a year or two... he'll never trust you again... do it now... and its more likely he will...

Secrets have a way of coming out... and the longer they are kept in a relationship the more harm they can do.

[talaniman]

Which would you rather live with, a relationship built on a lie, the consequences of telling the truth, or how bad you feel about yourself?

[Fr_Chuck]

You cheated and unless he would forgive you, the thing to do is breakup and learn from your mistake.

[Alty]

If you cared about him, loved him, you wouldn't have cheated. So yes, he deserves better than you, so let him find better. He deserves someone that loves him so much that they'd never even think about cheating.

Yes you hurt him, but let him go. He truly does deserve better.

[CravenMorhead]

I talked with him and broke up with him. I said I am very sorry. It is all my mistake. He is a very good guy and I hurted him a lot. He deserves better than me. I hate myself a lot for hurting him.

Okay. My question is what is your question? I will validate your choice by saying it is the right thing to do. When you cheat you put yourself and your partner at risk for Sexually Transmitted Infections that can do GREAT harm.

Also, why did you cheat? Was it because you were sexually unsatisfied with your partner? Emotionally unsatisfied? I think that is the better question for you to answer. This will be a painful growing experience for you because cheating on your partner is a stigma that will follow you.

[talaniman]

I know you feel really lousy now, but you did the right thing by being honest about it with your (ex)partner. He will feel lousy too right now, but you can work to forgive yourself and heal from this very serious learning experience and grow beyond it.

You are hardly the first to learn such a life lesson.

[Cat1864]

I see you edited your post. That is a very unfair thing to do those who have given advice based on the original post and those who are currently trying to help.

If I remember correctly, your, now, ex was studying and is currently working abroad. Has been for several years. You claimed that he has been faithful to you for all the time you have been apart. You got too close to a friend and while things got intimate clothes stayed on. You are no longer seeing the friend. I think there was also mention of not having had sex for several years.

Something I couldn't figure out was how often you were seeing your boyfriend, what type of contact you had, or if there were future plans for you to join him or for him to return to where you are. How much energy were you both putting into the relationship to keep it viable? Were you working together to build a future together?

Frankly, I don't think the relationship was very stable. Don't build the long distance relationship up to fairytale status. Be honest with yourself about whether it is/was love or had grown into a habit of being a couple. Sometimes it is difficult to recognize when it is time to walk away. Getting physically close to a friend is a good indication that there are issues and feelings may have changed. Guilt can act like a magnifying glass making fading love look bigger than it really is.

I think you did the best thing for yourself and him. Look at letting the guilt go. Don't hold onto the past. Figure out what you really want and need in a relationship. When you are ready, look for someone who is local and interested building a life with you.

[talaniman]

In light of the fact you have deleted your original post and made a true mockery of the purpose of this forum, I think you need to take a very honest inventory of yourself, and the way you are managing your life, and the decisions you make.