[exponent23]

Hi Everyone,

My ex had ended things with me about 2 months ago because she "wasn't at the same point I was" I was totally in love and ready to give everything to this girl. So we went through the normal stages of a breakup. No communication for a while, slowly starting to creep back into each others lives. We have a lot of the same friends/work together so its tough sometimes.

I recently discovered she had started seeing someone else. Not officially dating but hanging out a lot, sleeping together etc. I think it's a good thing that we both see what else is out there. But at the same time we have been getting closer and closer into each others lives again. I haven't initiated a thing, talking, hanging out etc.

So last night for the first time in two months she invites me over at around 10pm. We chatted, had some food and of course some wine. I wanted to kiss her the entire time but I didn't. I didn't want to undermine her current relationship (which she knows I know about through mutual friends but we've never discussed) and I don't want to move too fast when this is the first time we've hung out in months.

I put my arm around her for a bit and cuddled up when we were watching TV. Laid down with her in bed, rubbed her back, she was falling asleep. I kissed her on the cheek before she passed out and left.

Did I do the right thing? I still want her back.

[joypulv]

This isn't the sort of thing that has a right or wrong. But I'd say she's testing you to see if her options are still open (which I guess they are). The worst case scenario for YOU is that she had a fight with him, or he went out with someone else, or he didn't call her - who knows - and you're her fall back guy.
So if I were you? I wouldn't do this again. But you be the judge.

[talaniman]

As a guy, I wouldn't even be messing with an ex. Or stirring up old feelings. I would have a life, and let her have her own. Getting her back (?) wouldn't be a high priority, nor would hanging out a lot either.

She has options, so should you. At least you had the good sense to leave after the good night/good bye kiss.

[joypulv]

I'm not so sure about good sense here - he left because she passed out. It isn't clear if she was passed out, almost passed out, pretending to be passed out, or what. My female perspective? She wasn't really passed out. She was testing you regarding sex, just as she was testing you by inviting you over... at 10 pm for pity's sake. I'm not saying I know what all that means (although I covered most of what I think already), just that it means something you should be wary of.

When I say options open, I mean she broke up with you, and if she's regretting that, she won't say so. She might have wanted to get you over there at 10 pm, get slightly drunk, and be all over her with pleadings, declarations of love, and a passionate reunion in bed. 10 pm! Wine! Good grief.
But if her date with the other guy ended at 9:30 and she called you to spite him, you are nothing but a fool.
So again - you have to decide what's going on.

If you really want her back, ask her what her motives were. If she acts coy ('it meant nothing'), then STAY AWAY for good.

[N0help4u]

You kissed her, showed her interest, etc... now the ball is in her court to make any decisions. Back off until further notice and don't accept being sloppy seconds if she does come around .