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    Robert Van Dyke's Avatar
    Robert Van Dyke Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Apr 2, 2013, 09:01 AM
    Schizoaffective disorder
    My girlfreind, formally my fiancé, has schizoaffective disorder and has locked herself in her room and blocked her apt. door, she doesn't say anything except a few words and those are hard to hear through two doors, what can I do to help her?
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #2

    Apr 2, 2013, 09:33 AM
    Is she doing this because she is mad at you for something and doesn't want to deal with you?
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #3

    Apr 2, 2013, 11:16 AM
    She has a right to do this as an adult with her own place, not burning it down, flooding it, or threatening anyone.
    I might write her a letter and send it through the mail, telling her that you are there for her. But I suspect that she knows that and doesn't want it right now.
    It is a bit presumptuous of you to think there is some sort of 'help' that is required just because she has a diagnosis and has locked you out. Perhaps a re-thinking of how you view her overall might 'help.' In other words, this is as much about you as it is about her. The fact that your entire description of her is her diagnosis is not a good sign. She's a human being with feelings first, second, third, and 547th, and schizoaffective 548th.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #4

    Apr 2, 2013, 11:29 AM
    Is "schizoaffective" your diagnosis for her, or is it a doctor's diagnosis?
    Robert Van Dyke's Avatar
    Robert Van Dyke Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Apr 3, 2013, 09:40 AM
    It is the doctors diagnosis, I never heard of it before she told me
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    Robert Van Dyke Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Apr 3, 2013, 09:43 AM
    And yes she is mad at me but it is founded in a hallucination not in something real, well real to me, and I know I need to put her feelings first, above all is her feelings and well being
    Robert Van Dyke's Avatar
    Robert Van Dyke Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Apr 3, 2013, 09:45 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Is "schizoaffective" your diagnosis for her, or is it a doctor's diagnosis?
    Doctors diagnosis, never even heard of it before this and now I'm reading everything I can on it
    Robert Van Dyke's Avatar
    Robert Van Dyke Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Apr 3, 2013, 11:52 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by joypulv View Post
    She has a right to do this as an adult with her own place, not burning it down, flooding it, or threatening anyone.
    I might write her a letter and send it through the mail, telling her that you are there for her. But I suspect that she knows that and doesn't want it right now.
    It is a bit presumptuous of you to think there is some sort of 'help' that is required just because she has a diagnosis and has locked you out. Perhaps a re-thinking of how you view her overall might 'help.' In other words, this is as much about you as it is about her. The fact that your entire description of her is her diagnosis is not a good sign. She's a human being with feelings first, second, third, and 547th, and schizoaffective 548th.
    Yes Always keep her feelings first, I don't put her disorder in the conversation unless she brings it up, and I always talk positive
    Robert Van Dyke's Avatar
    Robert Van Dyke Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Apr 3, 2013, 11:56 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by joypulv View Post
    She has a right to do this as an adult with her own place, not burning it down, flooding it, or threatening anyone.
    I might write her a letter and send it through the mail, telling her that you are there for her. But I suspect that she knows that and doesn't want it right now.
    It is a bit presumptuous of you to think there is some sort of 'help' that is required just because she has a diagnosis and has locked you out. Perhaps a re-thinking of how you view her overall might 'help.' In other words, this is as much about you as it is about her. The fact that your entire description of her is her diagnosis is not a good sign. She's a human being with feelings first, second, third, and 547th, and schizoaffective 548th.
    And there is help for her I've read so much on it over the past week, I was asking how do I cope with my situation as I am bipolar anxity and suffer from hallucinations from multi head trama, sorry, I got lost.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #10

    Apr 3, 2013, 03:56 PM
    I'm afraid my point was lost. I was saying that she has a right to refuse help, no matter what her hallucinations are. Now I'm guessing that you both probably misinterpret a lot of communications with each other.
    It reminds me a bit of my parents as they got to the age when they couldn't hear well, and constantly got what each other said wrong. I shouted from one to the other to translate and avoid fights, but had to give up.
    Write the letter and see if you can slip it under her door, or tape it to the door if you can't.
    That's really all you can do.
    I would go there once a day and say 'hi, just checking to see if you want to see me, or need anything.'

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