[softcheek66]

My boyfriend spends all his time online trying to find women and now even men who would sleep with me. He wants me to sleep with other women on my own and watch strange men having sex with me. While he says he would not want to push me he never lets off the subject and brings it up several times a day as it is his ultimate fantasy. I told him I have no desire for other people as I love him and only want to have sex with him. But he actually chats to women online and sends out my pictures to them all in order to get them to sleep with me. I had one experience which he had set up with a woman and I did not enjoy it. Now I am even more reluctant. But he said this woman was an idiot and I should try again. He emphasizes that he won't push me into it but he talks to women online every day and spends hours trying to find them. They send evenexplicit pictures of their genitals to him while he is pretending to be me and he blows them up to look at every detail on them. He would like me to sleep with strange men too although he is more careful about that fantasy. He would also like me to go dogging with him. I am not sure I am ready for any of this. It makes me feel less desirable to him. Especially as he said I should lose some weight, about 30 lbs, to look better so women would be more readily prepared to sleep with me.I am a size 12 now, so not super slim but hardly obese. I find that very hurtful. He says I am fat but he love me and he loves my big belly. I do have a high sex drive but I am totally focused on him and totally in love with him. His wishes make me feel insecure in our relationship. I told him all this but he is insisting it is the right thing for me and he wants me to have a fulfilled sex life. He cannot bring me to orgasm by penetration alone and has never tried it any other way, assuming it would not make any difference whether he stimulated me manually/orally for two minutes or for thirty. AFter the one encounter with another woman we had sex 12 times in 24 hrs, all ended with him climaxing. He claimed it turned him on so much that he peaked sexually at 46 yrs old and now he wants that kick again. I love him so much but I now get suspicious. Is he using me?? How can he claim to love me? Please help.

[Oliver2011]

Wow. I am with you on this one. And no means no. I will let someone a lot smarter in these ways than me give the advice on this one.

[FightingBlues]

No man should be doing this without your consent. Period.

[odinn7]

This, to me, is a form of abuse... and you are right, he is using you.

If he can't respect the fact that you don't want to do this, then what's next?

Tell him no. Tell him you will not do this. It is not OK to talk to other men and women about you doing this. It is not OK to keep throwing it at you. It is not OK to even bring it up to you anymore.

If he can't listen to you about this and won't respect you, then to me it sounds like you have two choices. 1) Compromise your beliefs and desires and cave in to him 2) Stand your ground and tell him this will cause you to break up with him if he can't listen or doesn't care to.

[Wondergirl]

I totally agree with the others. And what else does your boyfriend do with his spare time?

[dontknownuthin]

Why are you with this disrespectful, insulting, abusive jerk? Seriously.

Are you bisexual or lesbian? Why on earth would you perform sex acts with women for a third party's pleasure?

Time to break up. Seriously, this is beyond anything we can fix... the guy can't be helped.

There's nothing wrong with you or your body, by the way - size 12 is not fat. Oh, yeah - right - to attract women, even though you're straight and don't want to attract women. So for the weight issue, I recommend this approach... first, weigh this tool you're dating - his total weight is exactly how much you should loose. To do so, while he's still standing on the scale, leave the building. After you leave, text him, "Thanks for the advice to loose weight to be more attractive. I just lost your sorry 200 pounds, which I agree, will make it a lot easier to attract someone better."

Do not go back.

[ArmstrongMiller]

If you don't like, leave him alone. Good luck.