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Smushgush · Nov 6, 2012, 06:28 PM

I am head-over-heels in love with my best friend's boy friend. Any advice??

Alty · Nov 6, 2012, 07:31 PM

Leave him alone. Not only does he have a girlfriend, but that girlfriend is your best friend. You shouldn't even need to ask this question. Morally you should already know the answer.

Is it the same guy in your other posts?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/how-do-tell-best-friend-like-him-704367.html

dontknownuthin · Nov 6, 2012, 07:39 PM

Have some respect for your girlfriend. If the guy breaks up with her and some time passes, and she moves on and gets over it, you may be able to date him in the future. If he breaks up with her for you, or you see him on the side, you'll really hurt her with a double betrayal by her best friend and boyfriend at the same time. Is that the kind of person you want to be?

teacherjenn4 · Nov 6, 2012, 08:14 PM

Stay away or you will lose your best friend.

Smushgush · Nov 6, 2012, 08:50 PM

Yes this is the same guy as in other posts. I had a major crush on him before they were dating, and she knew and still knows that. She also happens to be helping me through it, because she knows it is hard on me. As of 2 weeks ago they are officially dating. Ihavevtried to put my feelings aside an be supportive in all the ways possible, but I can't get him off my mind.

Smushgush · Nov 6, 2012, 08:51 PM

Originally Posted by Alty

Leave him alone. Not only does he have a girlfriend, but that girlfriend is your best friend. You shouldn't even need to ask this question. Morally you should already know the answer.

Is it the same guy in your other posts?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/how-do-tell-best-friend-like-him-704367.html

Yes this is the same guy as in other posts. I had a major crush on him before they were dating, and she knew and still knows that. She also happens to be helping me through it, because she knows it is hard on me. As of 2 weeks ago they are officially dating. Ihavevtried to put my feelings aside an be supportive in all the ways possible, but I can't get him off my mind.

Alty · Nov 6, 2012, 09:17 PM

Originally Posted by Smushgush

Yes this is the same guy as in other posts. I had a major crush on him before they were dating, and she knew and still knows that. She also happens to be helping me through it, because she knows it is hard on me. As of 2 weeks ago they are officially dating. Ihavevtried to put my feelings aside an be supportive in all the ways possible, but I can't get him off my mind.

The fact is he had a choice, and he chose your friend. So not only does he not feel the same way about you that you do about him, but he's dating your best friend.

I know it's hard when you have a crush, but you have to move on. If you do that, another crush will come along before you know it and he'll be just a memory.

Smushgush · Nov 6, 2012, 09:51 PM

Originally Posted by Alty

The fact is he had a choice, and he chose your friend. So not only does he not feel the same way about you that you do about him, but he's dating your best friend.

I know it's hard when you have a crush, but you have to move on. If you do that, another crush will come along before you know it and he'll be just a memory.

He didn't have a choice, because he doesn't know

Alty · Nov 6, 2012, 09:54 PM

Originally Posted by Smushgush

He didn't have a choice, because he doesn't know

Of course he had a choice. He could have asked you out even though he didn't know how you felt, but he didn't. He asked your friend out.

Smushgush · Nov 6, 2012, 09:56 PM

Originally Posted by Alty

Of course he had a choice. He could have asked you out even though he didn't know how you felt, but he didn't. He asked your friend out.

True. I just want to let you know I don't want to like him. I am really trying to get him out of my head but it's not working. Any advise?

Alty · Nov 6, 2012, 10:11 PM

Originally Posted by Smushgush

True. I just want to let you know I don't want to like him. I am really trying to get him out of my head but it's not working. Any advise?

Get active in other things, meet new people, get a hobby.

Smushgush · Nov 6, 2012, 10:22 PM

Originally Posted by Alty

Get active in other things, meet new people, get a hobby.

I already am, but because they are my best friends we see each other fairly often. I am enfolded and basketball and high school keeps me very busy. The fact that the three of us hang out almost every weekend and that he goes to my school and she doesn't makes it very difficult. Not only that, but him and I carpool every morning to school.

Alty · Nov 6, 2012, 10:29 PM

Okay, let's try a different tact.

What do you think will help you get over him?

Smushgush · Nov 6, 2012, 10:34 PM

Originally Posted by Alty

Okay, let's try a different tact.

What do you think will help you get over him?

I honestly have no idea. I feel like I have tried everything. My friend suggested writing a journal, which I did for a while. At the beginning it felt like it was helping because I was letting all my bottled feels out, but after a while it only made me feel worse because when ever I whipped out the journal t begin writing everything about him flooded my mind and reality hit me like a brick wall. I realized all the feelings I had were useless and that he chose her, if he liked me he would have chosen me, but he doesn't and didn't. Even after I realized all of that he is all I think about

Homegirl 50 · Nov 6, 2012, 10:54 PM

Now it's time to make up your mind to move on. Find a different set of friends and hang out with others besides them.

Smushgush · Nov 6, 2012, 11:02 PM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Now it's time to make up your mind to move on. Find a different set of friends and hang out with others besides them.

I will take a stab at it. Thank you for all your help!

Alty · Nov 6, 2012, 11:03 PM

Originally Posted by Smushgush

I honestly have no idea. I feel like I have tried everything. My friend suggested writing a journal, which I did for a while. At the begining it felt like it was helping because I was letting all my bottled feels out, but after a while it only made me feel worse because when ever I whipped out the journal t begin writing everything about him flooded my mind and reality hit me like a brick wall. I realized all the feelings I had were useless and that he chose her, if he liked me he would have chosen me, but he doesn't and didn't. Even after I realized all of that he is all I think about

Your friend knows how you feel, do your parents? You said that you carpool with him. Maybe that should stop. Spend less time with them, hang out with other friends. If your best friend knows how you feel about her boyfriend than she'll understand why you can't always hang out with them. In fact, she may even be happy about that.

Make time to spend with her, and just her, but stop spending time with him. Give yourself a chance to fall for someone else.

Smushgush · Nov 7, 2012, 12:07 AM

Originally Posted by Alty

Your friend knows how you feel, do your parents? You said that you carpool with him. Maybe that should stop. Spend less time with them, hang out with other friends. If your best friend knows how you feel about her boyfriend than she'll understand why you can't always hang out with them. In fact, she may even be happy about that.

Make time to spend with her, and just her, but stop spending time with him. Give yourself a chance to fall for someone else.

Ok thank you so much! I will give it a try