[vincesez]

I've dated this girl for about 4 years and we've been broken up for almost a year now. In between then I've dated one other girl for 4 months and yet I still can't get over my ex.

Been keeping myself busy with work and school and even the gym but its like every damn day she's on my mind and I hate it. I'll admit she broke up with me when I was at that point where I really loved her. During our break-up we used to talk and even use each other but now we don't talk or do anything at all. She even went as far as to stop talking to me completely assuming she has a new boyfriend now.

I just want to stop thinking about her because sometimes it gets me down.

[joypulv]

'we used to talk and even use each other'? Do you mean even see each other?
I don't see much more to say about getting over someone that you haven't already done, except that you should have had no contact after the break up.
You are keeping busy and time has to take care of the rest. Millions of us go through this.
See if there are any therapy groups at school. Finding others in the same boat might help.

[mrbiggie]

It's tough man... but time heals it all and your own self. If you can tell yourself it wasn't going to work out or how hurt you are. Slowly you can let go.

For me the frusteration has started to push me away. The fact that my ex can't sitdown and talk it out. Make me feel like there is no point in wrecking my life for her.

Why should I ruin my life for someone, who can't work it out, can't sit down and talk, can't love me enough to know I love them too.

If the other person can't see that, then they aren't worth it. ANd if they aren't worth it then you as a perosn shouldn't care about them anymore. She doesn't give a damn about you so why should you?

[talaniman]

So what has triggered these feelings after a year? Usually we dwell back to happier times when we are going through other stresses. What's going on in your life now besides fast approaching holidays, or anniversary of the breakup?

Gyms are great but group activities are a lot better, especially a great hobby. Got one? You are having regrets is all, but no need to be stuck on them.

[Oliver2011]

Wow you must have really been in love for it to hurt so long. It sounds like you are quite capable of loving that way again. This change is a new chapter in your life so embrace it and don't let others impact you having a great day. School, work, and the gym are great ways to keep your mind active and relieve some stress. I've only really been in love once and it did hurt when we broke up. Everyone goes through it and everyone survives it. Sucky advice I know.

[zyro200]

Man I also went through the same for three years. Just didn't know what to do.she wasn't calling no communication. Till last year when I found her with a boyfriend and they were staying together! I dropped in tears because I still had hopes in the relationship. I had not moved on.It was the most painful moment of my life. My performance at work dropped.
God was on my side and in less than a month I got much better paying Job in a different district.
Please don't take long like I did move on brother. But you must find a reason to move on.

Good luck.