[mehrnoush]

hi I am sixteen and I am a Muslim girl as you know in Islam girls and boys can not have free relationships unless they are married... actually I'm not so much religious but I'm spending a hard time now... I had a friend who suddenly became a boyfriend to me although I didn't love him or something like that but he and I had three or more times seeing each other just for having a time to spent in a romantic way... yeah I am somehow hating myself now and I don't know if its because of my soul which is calling me with the voice of my religion or its because I have undermined human values by touching somebody while I love somebody else... on the other hand I am so much scared I really don't want anybody to understand what I have done... please help me... I prefer a help from someone who respects my religion... and excuse me if I'm not good in English...

[JudyKayTee]

hi i am sixteen and i am a Muslim girl as you know in Islam girls and boys can not have free relationships unless they are married ...actually im not so much religious but im spending a hard time now....i had a friend who suddenly became a boyfriend to me although i didnt love him or something like that but he and I had three or more times seeing each other just for having a time to spent in a romantic way ....yeah i am somehow hating myself now and i dont know if its because of my soul which is calling me with the voice of my religion or its because i have undermined human values by touching somebody while i love somebody else ....on the other hand i am so much scared i really dont want anybody to understand what i have done......please help me ....i prefer a help from someone who respects my religion.....and excuse me if im not good in English....

When you say "in a romantic way" are you talking about sex?

You've actually posted about this before, on the teen board, and you apparently ignored everyone's advice: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/...-686005-2.html

[mehrnoush]

When you say "in a romantic way" are you talking about sex?

You've actually posted about this before, on the teen board, and you apparently ignored everyone's advice: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/...-686005-2.html

No I mean somehow touching each other and being alone

[jenniepepsi]

Alhamdulillah!

I suggest you speak to your Imam about this. Allah is forgiving. If you know that you committed a sin, and you are changing your ways to live your life for Him, he WILL forgive you. But you must forgive yourself as well, and move past this. Your Imam can arrange for you to see a counselor who can help you with this.
Insha Allah you will be OK!

Assalamu Alaikum

[mehrnoush]

Alhamdulillah!

I suggest you speak to your Imam about this. Allah is forgiving. If you know that you committed a sin, and you are changing your ways to live your life for Him, he WILL forgive you. But you must forgive yourself as well, and move past this. Your Imam can arrange for you to see a counselor who can help you with this.
Insha Allah you will be ok!

Assalamu Alaikum

Oh I can not talk to her about this! I have just screwed everything up and I don't want to make it worse... I just want it to be forgotten in peace but something reminds me everyday that just everything is going to get worse and every body is going to know about my mistake!! oh please help me I'm leaving in a hell right now!!

[JudyKayTee]

oh i can not talk to her about this !! i have just screwed everything up and i dont want to make it worse ....i just want it to be forgotten in peace but some thing reminds me everyday that just everything is goin to get worse and every body is gonna know about my mistake!!!oh please help me im leaving in a hell right now!!!

I don't know what advice you want - my colleague, Jennie, understands your religion and has given you advice. You don't want to take it.

This thread should be combined with your other thread. You ignored the advice there, too.

I don't think there's anything else to be said.

[jenniepepsi]

oh i can not talk to her about this !! i have just screwed everything up and i dont want to make it worse ....i just want it to be forgotten in peace but some thing reminds me everyday that just everything is goin to get worse and every body is gonna know about my mistake!!!oh please help me im leaving in a hell right now!!!

Women cannot be Imams... who are you talking about?
Please. Speak to your spiritual leader, or don't.

[mehrnoush]

Women cannot be Imams....who are you talking about?
Please. Speak to your spiritual leader, or dont.

Hi emm let me explain... I was just in a hurry I think and I made a mistake about the word Imam... im sorry I don't want to seem like that I don't want to take advice... if it was right I wouldn't be here and I wouldn't be boiling inside because of my mistakes actually I have a wonderful and successful family and I was just going the wrong path... I don't like seem to others that I'm a weak person but I am... I just can't concentrate on what I should do... I need more help and every time I think about that I feel more alone and week... if I could clean the past I would start it better

[mehrnoush]

I don't know what advice you want - my colleague, Jennie, understands your religion and has given you advice. You don't want to take it.

This thread should be combined with your other thread. You ignored the advice there, too.

I don't think there's anything else to be said.

Hi I'm sorry I didn't want to ignore anything... I just want to change and I'm confused!! sorry please

[JudyKayTee]

hi emm let me explain .....i was just in a hurry i think and i made a mistake about the word Imam ...im sorry i dont want to seem like that i dont want to take advice ...if it was right i wouldnt be here and i wouldnt be boiling inside because of my mistakes actually I have a wonderful and successful family and i was just going the wrong path ...i dont like seem to others that im a weak person but i am ...i just can't concentrate on what i should do ...i need more help and every time i think about that i feel more alone and week ....if i could clean the past i would start it better

You can't clean the past as in "wash it away." You seem very conflicted and appear to feel very guilty. My thought - and this has nothing to do with Islam - you need to forgive yourself.

If a good friend of yours came to you with this exact problem, these exact questions, how would you handle things? Would you be understanding and forgiving? Of course you would.

You need to just move on, FORGIVE YOURSELF, lead a good life.

You do sound like a good person who made a mistake - move beyond it.

[jenniepepsi]

Judy is absolutely right!

And I still encourage you to see your Imam (or if you do not have one, a local one will be more than happy to see you) As he can help you through this, and be supportive. I assure you he has seen it before. They all have. No one is perfect, not even the Imam.

[mehrnoush]

You can't clean the past as in "wash it away." You seem very conflicted and appear to feel very guilty. My thought - and this has nothing to do with Islam - you need to forgive yourself.

If a good friend of yours came to you with this exact problem, these exact questions, how would you handle things? Would you be understanding and forgiving? Of course you would.

You need to just move on, FORGIVE YOURSELF, lead a good life.

You do sound like a good person who made a mistake - move beyond it.

Thank you very much I'm going to meet a counselor as you friends advised me to... so I hope that helps me get out of the hell which I'm feeling its fever right now... thanks

[mehrnoush]

Judy is absolutely right!

And i still encourage you to see your Imam (or if you do not have one, a local one will be more than happy to see you) As he can help you through this, and be supportive. I assure you he has seen it before. They all have. No one is perfect, not even the Imam.

Thank you very much... talking to you helped me to think better about the situation