[Lacieob22]

So I'm still in love with my last boyfriend. I can't really call him my ex because there wasn't exactly a breakup. One month ago my boyfriend was killed in front of his house. I love him more then anyone on this earth including myself. I only had one other boyfriend before him and felt extremely lucky to have found someone so  beautiful, kind, smart and caring. I've only had two boyfriends in my life because I don't take relationships lightly like a lot of young people do. The idea of jumping from one person to another is disgusting and unimaginable. I can hardly see how people can do that without any consideration for their health and emotional well being. We had an extremely adult relationship that was built on nothing but commitment and trust. I took the idea of spending the rest of my life with him more serious then I took anything else because he was my everything. In the past I never wanted to have kids or to get married but being with him made me change my mind. People you love change you.

I know that I will never stop loving him and I know that I will compare every person I meet to him for the rest of my life. I'm not sure what I should do. I don't want to date any time soon because I'm still pretty broken but at the same time I don't want to ruin any good and honest relationships I might have in the future. I plan on giving myself a year or two before I even start considering people. What hurts me the most is that I feel like he was more then prefect because he and I had so much in common. He didn't drink, smoke, or party just like me. He was emotional and open but also brave and fearless. I know I loved him because I admired him and looked up to him. 

I'm not sure if I should compromise when I meet someone or if I should I search and search and search until I find someone just as perfect as he was. I don't want to push people away but at the same time the idea of dating someone disgust me because I feel like I'm cheating on him.

Should I tell someone upfront what happened and how I feel or would that scare them off? 

Should I give them a chance then after they get to know me should I reveal to them what happened? 

This is a very difficult situation for my that was traumatic and life changing. I've never experienced such heartbreak or horror. Please help.

[smoothy]

I wouldn't... if YOU are the rebound date... its unlikely to go well long term. Personal experience there. Her head isn't ready right now... and once it is.. she is more likely than not to view you as an opportunist.