Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    daisy0brien's Avatar
    daisy0brien Posts: 17, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #1

    Aug 10, 2012, 03:34 PM
    How do I get my ex boyfriend back?
    We were together 16 months and we fought a lot towards the end, but I caused a lot of the fights. I know I can change, but last week he broke up with me, saying he wasn't happy anymore. This was the result of an ugly drunk fight where I accused him of cheating on me. He won't talk to me now, but I need to show him that I am willing to do anything to get him back. What's the best way to go about it?
    12starlight34's Avatar
    12starlight34 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #2

    Aug 11, 2012, 01:37 AM
    APOLOGISE! But don't be clingy and desperate. If he is willing to take you back as a friend, good friend or girlfriend is his choice. You just have to make sure he is calm before you talk to him. Apologise, tell him you didn't mean it and were just drunk and dumb and that you trust him and won't do it again. Give him something he likes. Or writing/cooking something will also do. Show him that you care. Then tell him that you will do anything for him as a friend or something more. The rest is up to him. And if it doesn't work out, don't bum yourslef out or blame yourself. Maybe this guy just wasn't right for u
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
    current pert
     
    #3

    Aug 11, 2012, 01:45 AM
    You've never fallen out of love? If you have, you know there's no going back. You had your chances every day. And people who say 'I know I can change' rarely do for long.
    Suspicion, jealousy, accusations, and unbridled anger aren't things you change overnight. You need to seriously examine your life to see where they came from and find ways to practice change in everyday life, so that the next man you find won't go through this.
    daisy0brien's Avatar
    daisy0brien Posts: 17, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #4

    Aug 11, 2012, 02:59 AM
    But we were so so close and I miss him so much. I just don't understand how he can let it all go.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
    current pert
     
    #5

    Aug 11, 2012, 06:35 AM
    I guess you've never been the one to break up with someone.
    He doesn't miss you - end of story. He can let you go because you weren't 'so so close' when you were suspicious and jealous and angry. You miss what it all started as, not what it ended as. What it started as won't happen again.
    Do I sound mean? No, realistic. For your own good. You can try of course, as the first response says. It works once in a while for a very few people.
    daisy0brien's Avatar
    daisy0brien Posts: 17, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #6

    Aug 11, 2012, 07:39 AM
    But we were best friends as well as boyfriend/girlfriend and such a massive part of eachother's life. Is there absolutely no way to sort this out? I've had time to sort out my own problems and just want him back in my life. I know what I did wrong and can learn from this mistake. How can I show him that?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #7

    Aug 11, 2012, 11:02 AM
    How old are you both? If you are in high school you just go have an honest talk and see if he is willing to try again. Who was the drunk you refer to in drunken argument?
    daisy0brien's Avatar
    daisy0brien Posts: 17, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #8

    Aug 11, 2012, 11:11 AM
    We're 17, so obviously very young, but I am very attached to him. Is it too soon though? Most websites say no contact for a month. We were both drunk.
    WisperWill70's Avatar
    WisperWill70 Posts: 277, Reputation: 84
    Full Member
     
    #9

    Aug 11, 2012, 03:13 PM
    This is a lesson for you at 17 and at every year of your life: you can't control whether some loves you or likes you or stays with you. The only thing you can do is be your best in the moment and treat the other person with as much love and respect that you can (be that as a friend or girlfriend, etc.) Forget about getting him back. The best thing for you to do is move on with your life and address the issues (underage drinking, trust issues, etc.) that caused the problems in your relationship. Think about it. No amount of you telling him "I can change, I miss you" is going to matter... because talk is cheap and actions speak louder than words.

    It's time for you to grow up and move forward in your life. If he is your best friend and IF you meant so much to him -- he'll be there for you when/if the time is right.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #10

    Aug 11, 2012, 03:40 PM
    Personally, I say No Contact forever to move on with your life and do better. For sure two young drinkers will always make more mistakes and do dumb stuff like fight and argue. That's asking for even more trouble.

    Its up to you to decide what fits you the best, and if you are still drinking, expect more of the same problems. If he is still drinking, stay away from him.
    daisy0brien's Avatar
    daisy0brien Posts: 17, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #11

    Aug 11, 2012, 03:50 PM
    It's not really the drinking that was the issue. We aren't heavy/frequent drinkers at all, it was a party. But should I talk to him or is it too soon? I want him to miss me like I miss him.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #12

    Aug 11, 2012, 03:56 PM
    I have always believed that when they dump you, its up to them to want you back. Until then, you do your own thing, because you can bet, he is doing his.
    daisy0brien's Avatar
    daisy0brien Posts: 17, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #13

    Aug 11, 2012, 04:02 PM
    Okay. Thank you for your advice, do you have any more tips or success stories?
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #14

    Aug 11, 2012, 04:40 PM
    He dumped you. You need to move on.
    Don't know what the fight was about but it was enough to make him want out. You can't make him want you back.
    Maybe he really was cheating , which is why he got so mad, but any time a person says they are willing to do anything to get a person back, that is desperation and desperation is not attractive. It is pitiful. Face the facts and move on. He probably has.
    daisy0brien's Avatar
    daisy0brien Posts: 17, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #15

    Aug 11, 2012, 04:41 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Homegirl 50 View Post
    He dumped you. You need to move on.
    Don't know what the fight was about but it was enough to make him want out. You can't make him want you back.
    Maybe he really was cheating , which is why he got so mad, but any time a person says they are willing to do anything to get a person back, that is desperation and desperation is not attractive. It is pitiful. Face the facts and move on. He probably has.
    We were eachother's first everything, I don't think he's moved on that quickly actually...
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #16

    Aug 11, 2012, 04:44 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by daisy0brien View Post
    Okay. Thank you for your advice, do you have any more tips or success stories?
    Every time I got dumped, I had fun being single and found some great partners... for a while.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #17

    Aug 11, 2012, 04:46 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by daisy0brien View Post
    We were eachother's first everything, I don't think he's moved on that quickly actually...
    Maybe not, but you can't make him want you back. You need to face facts.
    daisy0brien's Avatar
    daisy0brien Posts: 17, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #18

    Aug 11, 2012, 04:53 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Homegirl 50 View Post
    Maybe not, but you can't make him want you back. You need to face facts.
    It's hard to accept its over when we had plans for children and marriage. Do you have any more advice/succes stories?
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #19

    Aug 11, 2012, 06:12 PM
    You don't want advice. You want someone to tell you what you want to hear.
    daisy0brien's Avatar
    daisy0brien Posts: 17, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #20

    Aug 12, 2012, 02:28 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Homegirl 50 View Post
    You don't want advice. You want someone to tell you what you want to hear.
    Well its just because the post was about how to get him back, not how to get over him...

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

How do I get my ex boyfriend back? [ 5 Answers ]

My ex and I were together for 2 and a half years, been best friends for over three years. We were living together for over nine months, but the last month I was there we were technically broken up, I just hadn't moved out yet. He is telling me that he is unhappy with his life and just can't be in...

How can I get my ex boyfriend back? [ 4 Answers ]

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years and I am his first love, I'm also the mother of his first born son that we had a year after our first year together between before I was pregnant all the way up to me giving birth I found myself arguing with him because he would be texting other...

Just got back with boyfriend of two years and he's back to doing the same thing that. [ 17 Answers ]

My boyfriend and I of two yeas just got back together on new years eve... we broke up for exactly two months... now its been just two weeks and he's back to doing the same thing that caused the breakup in the first place... he doesn't call/answer/and barely texts me... he uses the excuse that...

How do I get my Ex boyfriend back [ 2 Answers ]

I really want to get back with him beacsue I love him so much but I don't think he likes me anymore and he said he got over me once I broke up with him. How do I get him to like me again. We are only teenagers.:confused:

My boyfriend dumped me and I want him back how do I get him back? [ 6 Answers ]

:( My boyfriend dumped me because I was always arurging and he dumped me and I want him back but the only thing is is that he has a new girlfriend and I've told him I've changed but he does'tn kown how to break up with her. How do I get back together with him? :confused:


View more questions Search