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We were together 16 months and we fought a lot towards the end, but I caused a lot of the fights. I know I can change, but last week he broke up with me, saying he wasn't happy anymore. This was the result of an ugly drunk fight where I accused him of cheating on me. He won't talk to me now, but I need to show him that I am willing to do anything to get him back. What's the best way to go about it?
APOLOGISE! But don't be clingy and desperate. If he is willing to take you back as a friend, good friend or girlfriend is his choice. You just have to make sure he is calm before you talk to him. Apologise, tell him you didn't mean it and were just drunk and dumb and that you trust him and won't do it again. Give him something he likes. Or writing/cooking something will also do. Show him that you care. Then tell him that you will do anything for him as a friend or something more. The rest is up to him. And if it doesn't work out, don't bum yourslef out or blame yourself. Maybe this guy just wasn't right for u
You've never fallen out of love? If you have, you know there's no going back. You had your chances every day. And people who say 'I know I can change' rarely do for long.
Suspicion, jealousy, accusations, and unbridled anger aren't things you change overnight. You need to seriously examine your life to see where they came from and find ways to practice change in everyday life, so that the next man you find won't go through this.
But we were so so close and I miss him so much. I just don't understand how he can let it all go.
I guess you've never been the one to break up with someone.
He doesn't miss you - end of story. He can let you go because you weren't 'so so close' when you were suspicious and jealous and angry. You miss what it all started as, not what it ended as. What it started as won't happen again.
Do I sound mean? No, realistic. For your own good. You can try of course, as the first response says. It works once in a while for a very few people.
But we were best friends as well as boyfriend/girlfriend and such a massive part of eachother's life. Is there absolutely no way to sort this out? I've had time to sort out my own problems and just want him back in my life. I know what I did wrong and can learn from this mistake. How can I show him that?
How old are you both? If you are in high school you just go have an honest talk and see if he is willing to try again. Who was the drunk you refer to in drunken argument?
We're 17, so obviously very young, but I am very attached to him. Is it too soon though? Most websites say no contact for a month. We were both drunk.
This is a lesson for you at 17 and at every year of your life: you can't control whether some loves you or likes you or stays with you. The only thing you can do is be your best in the moment and treat the other person with as much love and respect that you can (be that as a friend or girlfriend, etc.) Forget about getting him back. The best thing for you to do is move on with your life and address the issues (underage drinking, trust issues, etc.) that caused the problems in your relationship. Think about it. No amount of you telling him "I can change, I miss you" is going to matter... because talk is cheap and actions speak louder than words.
It's time for you to grow up and move forward in your life. If he is your best friend and IF you meant so much to him -- he'll be there for you when/if the time is right.
Personally, I say No Contact forever to move on with your life and do better. For sure two young drinkers will always make more mistakes and do dumb stuff like fight and argue. That's asking for even more trouble.
Its up to you to decide what fits you the best, and if you are still drinking, expect more of the same problems. If he is still drinking, stay away from him.
It's not really the drinking that was the issue. We aren't heavy/frequent drinkers at all, it was a party. But should I talk to him or is it too soon? I want him to miss me like I miss him.
I have always believed that when they dump you, its up to them to want you back. Until then, you do your own thing, because you can bet, he is doing his.
Okay. Thank you for your advice, do you have any more tips or success stories?
He dumped you. You need to move on.
Don't know what the fight was about but it was enough to make him want out. You can't make him want you back.
Maybe he really was cheating , which is why he got so mad, but any time a person says they are willing to do anything to get a person back, that is desperation and desperation is not attractive. It is pitiful. Face the facts and move on. He probably has.
We were eachother's first everything, I don't think he's moved on that quickly actually...Quote:
Originally Posted by Homegirl 50
Every time I got dumped, I had fun being single and found some great partners... for a while.Quote:
Originally Posted by daisy0brien
Maybe not, but you can't make him want you back. You need to face facts.Quote:
Originally Posted by daisy0brien
It's hard to accept its over when we had plans for children and marriage. Do you have any more advice/succes stories?Quote:
Originally Posted by Homegirl 50
You don't want advice. You want someone to tell you what you want to hear.
Well its just because the post was about how to get him back, not how to get over him...Quote:
Originally Posted by Homegirl 50
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