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New Member
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Jul 15, 2012, 09:07 AM
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I am really hurt.
I am really hurt that my past bothers my boyfriend. I had physical relationship with three guys before him. He had physical relationship with seven before me. I accepted him still. But he said my past bothers him so much sometimes. I told him I am sorry and I made mistakes in my past that I am not proud of and told him to forgive me and accept me as I have accepted him. I told him the past is the past and I can’t do anything about it to undo.
But he said the past says a lot about what we are today. And he said he will be really mad if we happen to meet the guys I had sex with, along the way. He tried to break up with me once because of my past but I didn’t give up on us because I thought the reason was so illogical. And at that time he understood a lot and apologized for his negative thinking and promised to not let that bother us again.
But we faced his mood swings even after that. I try not to bring up our past ever but sometime somewhere silly things trigger him to think about my past again. I love him unconditionally, and I don’t want to be in fear when my past will bother him again or when will he say we have to break up because he can’t accept my past.
What do I do when he's everything I ever wanted and I am everything he can’t accept?. I don’t want to lose him and I have never loved anyone in my life like I am loving him.
How do I handle a guy who reacts really fast to everything?? My boyfriend reacts pretty fast which has always been the problem to most of our misunderstandings.
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New Member
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Jul 19, 2012, 06:30 AM
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Don't give him a chance to react. Try to understand him, talk to him. And at the same time, share thing with him. Never make him feel insecure. He might also react sometime cause of insecurity. Do what he likes, what he expects and make him do things you like. Sit down and share your expectations with him. Tell him, you expect certain things from him, and ask his expectations. Be open and accept whatever he expects from you. Things would be simpler.
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Expert
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Jul 19, 2012, 07:41 AM
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Its very difficult to deal with someone that reacts to every thing, all the time. I think all you can do is not react with them and hope they calm down just as fast. He has issues he needs to deal with, especially in the areas of self control.
He is also very insecure, and that's something that requires great patience... if you have it, or care to even go through the process of biting your tongue a lot.
If not, you will tire of his behavior, and tell him to step off, and keep stepping.
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New Member
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Jul 20, 2012, 10:45 AM
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Thank you so much spaniard89 and talaniman for your answers... I have been so considerate towards him and I am trying to be extra patient wit him... I hope I will be paid off.
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Entomology Expert
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Jul 20, 2012, 10:49 AM
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It's a joke that he has a "past" and that is supposed to be OK with you but yours is not with him. Why is it that it's OK for him to have a past but you can't? This all happened before you were with each other so why is there a problem?
You claim he is everything you have wanted but I don't understand why. If he is acting like this and can't deal with your past, then he has issues that you shouldn't need to be dealing with. I would say if he can't accept it and move forward, then I would dump him.
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Dating & Teen Expert
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Jul 20, 2012, 10:51 AM
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How long have you two been together?
If you think he is the one for you, I would suggest couples counseling.
His insecurity and problems with your past will eventually wear you down.
How old is he?
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New Member
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Jul 20, 2012, 10:59 AM
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His negative thinking is his weakness, he admits that. And he has also told me that he is trying his best to not let my past be a problem and he feels sad with himself that he reacts fast and says everything and anything when he gets angry... I don't understand him sometimes.
It has been 6 months. And he is 26 years old. I'm 27.
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Jobs & Parenting Expert
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Jul 20, 2012, 11:02 AM
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Tell him how his past breaks your heart and you sure hope you don't ever meet any of his former sex partners at parties or while shopping, etc. when they try to flirt with him or wink at him while remembering fun times.
Couples counseling is in order -- if you plan to stay with him.
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New Member
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Jul 24, 2012, 06:05 AM
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Nightmare
What could having sex in our dream mean?? My boyfriend had a dream about me having sex with another guy. What could it mean?
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Expert
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Jul 24, 2012, 06:08 AM
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It means he had a dream. Don't read anything more into it.
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New Member
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Jul 24, 2012, 06:19 AM
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Seems he woke up really scared and afraid and so lonely after the dream. M bothered.
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Expert
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Jul 24, 2012, 06:25 AM
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It's called a nightmare. I've had those too. Unless you are actually cheating on him there is nothing to be concerned about.
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New Member
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Jul 24, 2012, 06:26 AM
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Yeah I agree its only a dream think no more of it... you will probably look back and laugh about it in the near future
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New Member
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Jul 24, 2012, 06:35 AM
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I'm so happy to hear that. I have never cheated and I will never cheat on him for another guy.
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Ultra Member
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Jul 24, 2012, 02:54 PM
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It means that in his super asleep subconcious he might be a little jealous, as long as it stays there there should be no problem.
It is just a dream, disregard it.
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New Member
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Jul 25, 2012, 01:07 PM
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My past bothers my boyfriend
My past bothers my boyfriend. And he says he feels incomplete in our relationship. I love him so much and would do just about anything to do away wit his incompleteness. He recently told me that he won't be able to marry me because of my past. What do I do? What am I suppose to do to keep up with him? I don't want to lose him at any cost.
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Education Expert
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Jul 25, 2012, 01:13 PM
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If you are interested in marrying him, and he can't overlook your past, you need to move on. Why is he dating you if you don't meet his standards?
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New Member
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Jul 25, 2012, 01:16 PM
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He says he loves me a lot and has even let me meet his family members sum time back...
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Education Expert
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Jul 25, 2012, 02:11 PM
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Originally Posted by pixxxx
he says he loves me a lot and has even let me meet his family members sum time back...
May I ask what he can't overlook? How does he introduce you to his family? Was it as a girlfriend or just a friend ?
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