[Huggybearza]

Hi Everyone,

I recently experienced a non-mutual breakup with my ex, as always things appeared really great no issues but I'm sure a lot was sucked up and hidden from me but now 9 weeks post-breakup I'm still finding myself in a weird way to know how she is and what she is doing but I know its over. I did all the small things to the big things for her but I feel like maybe she didn't appreciate it or maybe she did... of course like most relationships she told me she "loved me", "can't imagine life without me", "asked me to promise not to leave her" which as a person like me I honored, as that's the way I am, I however only towards the end I started to fall in love with this girl fully... like any other decent relationship she and I did everything together, see each other every weekend, speak everyday... basically she became my best friend and apparently she was mine ( so she said ).

So I noticed a few things decline in her, little bit of irritation here and there but we never actually had massive arguments and I generally like to keep things chilled and resolve conflict. I'm currently running with the No Contact for 7 weeks now but I find it so hard how one can just easily throw away 13months of knowing each other but then again if she spoke to me then she will be giving false hope to me which I understand but completely treating me like I don't exist after I've done for her... I'm the type of guy that doesn't let people into his life easily but when I do I give my all to that person which I found myself doing for this girl. I find it so difficult to move past one factor and don't get me wrong I'm not trying to buy her love but on her birthday this year I bought her a camera and she is a photographer by heart and she was complaining a month or 2 back that her current equipment wasn't meeting her standards, so I did the unfathomable and went a got her a really decent piece of equipment to show my dedication and commitment to her and her passion, I wanted to give something to her that meant more than words could express.

Well with that said, I know its over but she is my best friend but clearly I'm not hers at all, I've done things for like let her go to a wedding with one of her ex's but I met the guy and he seemed good we chatted and who am I to say "NO" you can't do that but I made it clear I wasn't terribly happy with this idea but I noticed after a bit of thinking a decline from then and came across some twitter feeds that she was so keen to get boozed and what have you, by the has history with getting a bit crazy... I've done my fair share of that and I'm 27 and she is 22 which is young.

She gave me the whole, I'm the right guy wrong time story, she needs to sort herself out to be the girl I deserve... and told her best friend she wants to be with me in the future ( which I don't buy )

Unfortunately, I seem like I've lost a great person in my life but perhaps was fake towards the end, she made books of us and albums with like 101 reasons she loves me... got me a nice watch for my birthday and had it engraved that she will love me till time stops, lucky for us time hasn't but ye load of bull of course.

Ultimately even though she was trying to let go of me easily I fought for her and really wanted her back ( which I'm not so sure anymore ) I think too much damage has been done from her side and what not

I'm sad I had to see I've lost my best friend , I enjoyed every moment and I can't understand but her main reason that she broke up with me ( told her brother this ) was that I've had my fun and I'm done with partying and she still wants to party and be reckless but she can't do it with me ( is this a load of bull ) or did something happen at this wedding she went to , like did she party hard there and something triggered... I can't believe you shut off your feelings like that I know I can't but I will stick with No Contact.

Maybe some understanding of the situation will be great I've read a lot from every poster here and some are close to mine but not all... reading the stickies at the moment.

[Huggybearza]

Help plx?