[yumix]

My boyfriend broke up with me 2 months ago, he said he needed a break... but he broke it off because he didn't want me to wait in the dark and wonder about things, so he said it was just better to break it off.
The thing is this guy is a really generous good guy. He is very understanding, selfless, and sensitive deep down. We've been together for 3 years, and in total we've known each other for 4 years... we started as really close/best friends for the first 5 months until we got together. Everything was perfect, we were the type of couples everyone envied because our relationship was super strong, and we rarely had any issues. But like every relationship, problems will arise at one point. After a traumatizing experience (surgery)... I wasn't really myself. I started taking him for granted and I would say harsh things to him even if he was trying his best to comfort me. I didn't mean to on purpose.its just I was having severe anxiety attacks at that time so I lashed out at times and I was very emotional.

My anxieties were so bad to the point I thought there was something wrong with me (health wise) and I thought I was going to die from an illness. So imagine how frustrated I was.

I wasn't happy around him most of the time, and I always needed reassurance from him if he still loved me or if he was losing interest. Not only that, I needed reassurance a lot because I never got closure from my previous relationship with an ex who broke my heart... he lost interest in me and I gave him everything I had, so I had emotional scars and depression for a while. My boyfriend did everything he could to make me happy, but it wasn't enough because I was always unhappy, but I was never like this in the first year we were together... it just got worse after my surgery. I think I made him feel worthless, because he kept blaming himself at times he was a bad boyfriend and he was stupid... when in reality he wasn't at all.

Finally around 2 months ago, he said he couldn't take it any longer... he couldn't handle being unhappy for a long time, and he said he wanted to be alone. He said he still felt like he loved me more than I loved him, but his feelings weren't as strong. He said it kind of felt like I wasn't the same person who he fell in love with. Is it ever too late to show him I'm still the same person who he fell for? I'm doing the best I can to improve on my faults and what I did to him. I do regret it.

I love him so much and there is no one else in the world that is better than this guy. He is truly a rarity and I'm so lucky to have someone like him, but it hurts me so damn much because I did this to myself. We're still best friends and we keep in contact, it's just I don't know if he will ever feel the way he used to around me even if I start acting better around him. I know it might be hard, but I deserve a second real chance... don't I? It wasn't my fault that I was going through so much pain in life... but I know I shouldn't have directed my negative energy at him. Will guys tend to leave a relationship is there is too much negativity and if they feel like they're not good enough?

He said he thinks we could get back together in the future if everything was okay again.

[Fr_Chuck]

So you don't have closure from this one either ?

There is normally not real closure in break ups and one side often wants it to continue. Are you not feeling the same way now with this ex as you did the other ex ?

Is it ever too late, often it is too late the next day, many people will not give a second chance.

[yumix]

So you don't have closure from this one either ?

There is normally not real closure in break ups and one side often wants it to continue. Are you not feeling the same way now with this ex as you did the other ex ?

Is it ever too late, often it is too late the next day, many people will not give a second chance.

What I meant is that I never got over the past of getting hurt, when in reality I should put the past behind me. I had the fear of losing this current boyfriend, so my fears got the best of me and made me act the way I did, and my anxieties weren't helping as much so it got worse.
Well, my boyfriend is a forgiving guy. If I ever terrible, he would hold told me he didn't want me in his life anymore, but he says he never wants to lose and never wants to let me go. :/

If I was ever that terrible person*
He would have told me*

[talaniman]

You weren't a terrible person, you just had issues he couldn't deal with, and you didn't deal with them very well.

Get control of your own issues and don't throw them at your partner. If you cannot, then gets some help for yourself. He can't, because he isn't a doctor.