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amy 132 · Jun 22, 2012, 07:27 AM

Hi
I am 16 and how found how 2weeks ago I was pregnant with my boyfriend baby
He does not know as well
I have been wanting to tell my mum and dad since I found out but I know that they will go mad at me as they do not think that I have had sex with my boyfriend
Does anyone know of any good ways of telling them ?
Thank you
Amy

JudyKayTee · Jun 22, 2012, 07:30 AM

Yes, you sit them down and tell them you need to talk to them. I'd start with "I know you're going to be disappointed but ..."

I trust the age of consent is 16 in your area. Your parents are probably going to at least mention filing charges against your boyfriend, particularly if the sexual relationship started when you were underage.

How did you find out you are pregnant? Home test? A Physician?

amy 132 · Jun 22, 2012, 07:36 AM

I did I home test when everyone was out and my boyfriend is 19 but we started having sex when I was 15 and him 18 but I was OK with it
And I know they will go mad when I tell them do you think if I when to the doc and asked for a abortion then they never have to find out ?
Thank you
Amy

J_9 · Jun 22, 2012, 07:38 AM

It depends on where you live as to whether you will need your parent's permission for an abortion.

amy 132 · Jun 22, 2012, 07:48 AM

I live in the uk but if they find out they will go mad and so will my boyfriend

JudyKayTee · Jun 22, 2012, 08:01 AM

Originally Posted by amy 132

i live in the uk but if they find out they will go mad and so will my boyfriend

You have two choices - everyone gets mad at you or you have a child. That's the bottom line.

JudyKayTee · Jun 22, 2012, 08:04 AM

Originally Posted by amy 132

i did i home test when everyone was out and my boyfriend is 19 but we started having sex when i was 15 and him 18 but i was ok with it
and i know they will go mad when i tell them do you think if i when to the doc and asked for a abortion then they never have to find out ?
thank you
amy

You don't understand the Age of Consent laws - you CANNOT consent to having sex if you are under 16 because you are considered to be a child. I know, everyone tells AMHD how mature they are. That doesn't matter. IF you have sex and you are under 16 it was rape in the eyes of the Courts.

You CANNOT be "okay" with it because legally you were too young to be "OK" with it.

I have read you CAN have an abortion at 16 without parental consent. Another site says you CANNOT. I don't know which is right. At any rate, a Physician can tell you.

Did your birth control fail?

amy 132 · Jun 22, 2012, 08:07 AM

Don't get me wrong I'd love to be a mum to this baby but it more what everyone will say about it and what my boyfriend says and does as I do not want him to go as of this

JudyKayTee · Jun 22, 2012, 08:08 AM

Originally Posted by amy 132

don't get me wrong i'd love to be a mum to this baby but it more what everyone will say about it and what my boyfriend says and does as i do not want him to go as of this

I have some idea what you just said - good that you would "love" to be a mom.

So - you are going to have an abortion because of what "everyone will say about it" and what your boyfriend will say? Can you, should you, have this baby? I don't know. That's your decision - obviously.

Here's my concern - you are having sex with someone who committed legal rape but you are having an abortion so he doesn't walk away from you? He won't stand with you?

You need some serious counselling -

amy 132 · Jun 22, 2012, 08:12 AM

If I tell him have he walks away from me then I will not have him anymore and he means the world to me

JudyKayTee · Jun 22, 2012, 08:27 AM

Originally Posted by amy 132

if i tell him have he walks away from me then i will not have him anymore and he means the world to me

Quite bluntly - then you are a fool. A young, pregnant fool - but a fool nevertheless.

So tell your parents, consult with a Physician. I assume you are paying for the abortion? Or is he?

And you didn't answer me - birth control failed?

And this is why he's a legal rapist. You get pregnant and your concern is that he will walk away. I'm guessing that's the same reason you were having sex with him, in order to "keep him."

You've been given good information and advice by several people. Follow it.

smoothy · Jun 22, 2012, 08:41 AM

As Judy so rightfully said...

#1. Tell your parents...

#2. Tell HIS parents... they share legal liability for this situation.

smoothy · Jun 22, 2012, 08:44 AM

Originally Posted by amy 132

if i tell him have he walks away from me then i will not have him anymore and he means the world to me

So... he's the father... he's going to be paying to raise the child unit its legal age, and you can make him do it if he walks away or not... if you get an abortion... he should be paying for it.

Plus what's wrong with him... a 15 year old is a child compared to an 18 year old... its only three years but it's a HUGE gap when it comes to maturity and intellectual development... what? He wasn't able to get a girlfriend his own age? He chases after a 15 year old because first its easier to impress a 15 year old and convince her to put out, than a far wiser woman his own age... using that higher maturity level... and why its considered statutory rape in most of the civilized world.

I wasn't putting you down by calling you a child at that age... but developementally you are... along with everyone else your age... you will understand this in a few years... everyone goes through that stage.

Being an adult is much more than being physically capable of having a child. That happens many years before the maturity of an adult is achieved. And it applies just as equally to males as it does females.

JudyKayTee · Jun 22, 2012, 08:51 AM

And I will add that amy132 sounds like every abused woman at some time of another - if she doesn't comply, he walks, so she complies right up until she smartens up.

And if this is starting at 16 I see a long and unhappy, controlled life in front of her.

smoothy · Jun 22, 2012, 08:56 AM

Originally Posted by amy 132

i live in the uk but if they find out they will go mad and so will my boyfriend

And as far as this... He bought the ticket for the ride, he can't get a refund now that he took it... and I doubt he is so stupid he thought pregnancy couldn't happen.

amy 132 · Jun 22, 2012, 09:08 AM

He did not make me have sex with him it was me that was OK for him to have sex with me
And I no I was silly to say yes when he asked if I wanted to with him
And no we did not use any birth control as he did not want to do so
I know he loves me but I do not think he will if he knows about this as he will be mad

JudyKayTee · Jun 22, 2012, 09:10 AM

I'm guessing no birth control (Amy isn't answering) and coercion (she's afraid of losing him now; if she said no she might "lose" him) and in the eyes of the law he's a rapist.

I doubt anyone will go mad - I suspect they'll be mad.

If Amy doesn't have an abortion she is going to raise this child alone because the "bf" is probably moving on as we speak. And if she does have the abortion she'll go right back to unprotected sex for the all reasons men have used since the beginning of time - "Do you shower with your clothes on? Well, that's why I'm not using a condom."

Or don't men use that line any more?

amy 132 · Jun 22, 2012, 09:17 AM

He did not make me have sex with him it was me that was OK for him to have sex with me
And I no I was silly to say yes when he asked if I wanted to with him
And no we did not use any birth control as he did not want to do so
I know he loves me but I do not think he will if he knows about this as he will be mad

smoothy · Jun 22, 2012, 09:22 AM

Originally Posted by amy 132

he did not make me have sex with him it was me that was ok for him to have sex with me
and i no i was silly to say yes when he asked if i wanted to with him
and no we did not use any birth control as he did not want to do so
i know he loves me but i do not think he will if he knows about this as he will be mad

You do understand the concept of coercion? Sure you said yes... but not until after AFTER he convinced you. He made you say yes by whatever means he used to get you to drop your pants.

Statutory rape doesn't mean forcible rape... it means an adult talks someone too young to make an informed consent into having sex. Doesn't matter that they said yes.

Forcible rape would be if you said no or stop and he didn't.

The fact he used no protection... makes this even worse because he intentionally made you pregnant... this wasn't an accident or a mistake.

He is either a retard or a pedophile.

You better tell your parents... AND his parents as well as him... I bet they will all be so proud of him for doing this.

If you was 18 I would say you share the blame in this equally... but you aren't so that makes MOST of this his fault.

amy 132 · Jun 22, 2012, 09:33 AM

It my fault as he asked me if I wanted to when his parents were away and I said yes as he had been on about for some time and I did not want him to go as I love him and he loves me
I know what I did was silly but I do not want him to get done for it as it not his fault