[OctaMan]

So uhm.. Hi. My name is (well, I kind of want to be anonymous, even though I know that none of whom I know is aware of this webpage).

I'm totally new with this site; but it seems promising. I've been reading a couple of other threads on here, and people seem to be helping each other pretty well. So I figured: hey, why not give it a try.

Here's my problem, though: there's something that I just need to get out there. Something I've been wanting to talk to somebody about, but I just need a couple of fresh and neutral eyes on this.

I'm single. I've been single for nearly 2 years now, and it's great. (I'm 17, by the way.) I love being able to woo other girls and that sort of thing. Right now I couldn't see myself in a relationship with anybody, because that would ruin my current mood and what I stand for, as of right now (relationship-wise). Since my horrible and well-deserved break-up with my ex 2 years ago, I started seeing girls more as objects (not shallow with this at all), and not as potential love-givers that would come in and change my life. My ex really changed me. For the better. I became more independent, and I saw a much greater perspective in the female being. My spectrum was expanded. So, for the past year or so, I have been.. let's say "having fun" is what I've been doing. I broke a couple of hearts along the way, sure, but nothing that has affected me or my decisions to keep on going.

I never really did see anything wrong with having fun. Life shouldn't be one long journey of endless love - especially not at my age. I'm still having problems grasping this whole concept of love. I wouldn't consider myself an expert on the genre, but I sure have gained a lot of experience with women; more than enough for me to have a general opinion (but that's another thread).

I've always been addicted to social media (Facebook etc.), so I've been meeting girls there. Sure, a lot of people think of it as a joke, but once you really start to learn how it works, a whole lot of communication and bonding can be made. I've met about (not to exaggerate) 150-200 girls online, and it's been a journey to this date, I can tell you that much.

So last fall, I met this girl (let's call her J). She is about 2 years younger than me, and we really hit it off (on the internet, mind you). She lived in the same city, so it was great. Everything connected. We were having a blast; looking forward to meeting each other and so on and so forth. Though, a little while before meeting her, I had my eyes on this other girl (let's call this one A), but I was sceptic with her. She lives 300 km (180-some miles) from me, in a whole other city. So I didn't really wanted to get serious with this one, seeing that long distances rarely work out. But man.. A was really special. I hadn't met her yet, but she was perfect in every way imaginable. We had the same taste in music, the same black humor - everything. It couldn't be better. Though, I also had this thing with J going at the same time.. But nothing was too serious at the moment, so I met J, and of course: we kissed, we had a great time. We fell in love. Did I regret it? Hell no. I couldn't be happier. But in my mind, I still had this thing for A. Heck, I even had this thing for her before meeting with J. As time went on, I even grew some great feeling for A, while still feeling the way I did for J. So I confronted them both, telling them individually that I was in love with them both (I still hadn't met A) - and of course, they were both hurt. And angry.

To this day, I still have feelings for them, but my feelings for A are greater. A whole bunch greater, mind you. I have met A and I am still seeing J on a weekly basis. A is nothing less but fantastic. After I met A for the first time, I told her that me and J were done. So when I got home, I still continued seeing J - with A knowing nothing about it. And of course, they want me to choose. I am seeing A in 2 days time, and the same day I'm seeing J.

Is what I'm doing wrong? Am I a bad person? Should the both of them just leave me so I can learn from my mistakes? I need help with this - but not just help. I seek guidance. There's a whole lot more details to this, but I kept it short *cough*.

If there is just 1 pure and helpful soul out there, please guide me through this. Give me some advice; because love is an unfair game, and I need to clear my concience.

[Darkangelxx]

Okay first yeah that's kindof bad what you are doing bcs you are playing with their feelings, but you should thibk who do I like the most and really care about the most, but don't keep continuing this because if you let it get to deep out will hurt worse so think who do I care about the most ?

[talaniman]

Tell them the truth and let them make their own choices because what's left out you are single and can do as you please, and that just the way it is. They want an exclusive commitment, that requires a choice to leave someone alone (the other girl), and that's cool, but you better figure out what YOU want young guy, to date who you want, when you want, or just have one and take your chances.

You have been taking chances any way, and breaking hearts along the way. And kissing on a female does tend to put you in these situations. So break one heart, or two. That's what it comes down to. But now here is where the lying, cheating, and deceit start,

After I met A for the first time, I told her that me and J were done. So when I got home, I still continued seeing J - with A knowing nothing about it. And of course, they want me to choose. I am seeing A in 2 days time, and the same day I'm seeing J.

And that playa, makes your game a self serving lie!

[Wondergirl]

love is an unfair game

I agree with Tal and echo him.

And no, love is NOT an unfair game, but you are making it so. YOU are the unfair "dungeon master" who is controlling the "game" and breaking hearts.

[OctaMan]

Let me just get it out there, that I don't want to show myself as an type of guy. I'm really not. I think about their feelings all the time. I do. If I said that I was a total playa, I'd be lying. The problem is, that I cannot free myself from the lust and the temptation with J - and I rarely do meet with A, but I just can't hold back my physical feelings for that long. It's really difficult.

[talaniman]

Then you tell them the truth YOU are not ready for an exclusive relationship, and like being single. Maybe they go along with it, maybe they don't, but its better than lying and cheating and you still can enjoy exploring and experimenting.

They deserve a chance at making their decisions too! Let it be with the truth, and not a lie to satisfy your own lust, that you can't control. I was 17 once, and intentionally breaking a hurt for selfish reasons, ain't the way to go.