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    Blind_soul's Avatar
    Blind_soul Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Feb 20, 2012, 10:54 AM
    Confused about the way I feel.
    :(
    I was in a messed up relationship since 2 years. We had a lot of problems then and I was never happy. We continuously fought about him not being able to meet me, him talking to his ex, not calling at all, etc.
    Lets say his name is A.

    After sometime (8 months), my ex [A] came back to me. He said he was sorry and he wanted another chance.
    I loved him dearly and I could still feel for him so I said yes. However now, I feel different. Even though he has been at his best behavior until now, doing all that I wanted him to do earlier, I feel lost. I find it hard to say I love you to him. I do say it every time he does but it doesn't come from the depth my heart. I don't know why I feel like this as all I ever wanted was to be with him and spend the rest of my entire life with him. We are both serious about getting married. But now I feel like taking my steps back. I don't feel a connection anymore. Maybe it's the wall I put up after all the hurt I've been through but I assume it should have cleared by now.

    Could someone please help me out. Is there a way I could bring back the connection and feel the deep feelings I used to feel.
    IS it okay if I take time to regain it at my own pace? Do I tell him how I feel and if I do, how can I put it gently? Appreciate all your help.

    Thanks.
    mmresd's Avatar
    mmresd Posts: 2,002, Reputation: 553
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Feb 20, 2012, 11:37 AM
    It is definitely OK to regain at your own pace. However, sometimes it is best to realize that just as a person has changed, maybe so have you. Embrace change, maybe you were love with him back then, but you cannot allow ourself to live in the past, you need to sit down and ask yourself if you still feel the same way as you do before (which doesn't seem like it). Maybe it is time to move on and start fresh, remain single for a while and soon you will find someone who will create that spark in you again.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #3

    Feb 20, 2012, 11:45 AM
    I agree with mmresd. After the 8 month separation, you could have gotten over him.
    You have every right to slow the pace down. You may not feel the same about him. You may need to just step away from him. You have every right to do that too.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #4

    Feb 20, 2012, 05:03 PM
    I think it wise to take all the time you need to figure your feelings out.

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