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breeze85 · Dec 25, 2011, 10:27 AM

I always see that the "I need space" usually happens toward the end of the relationship. Here is my question. I broke it off with my ex 6 months ago. I tried to communicate with her for the first time last week by saying hello to her at work. We were together for 4 years. She ignored me and sent me an email later that night. She said, "It is best that we keep our distance. I need my space. Don't reply."

Can anyone help me with this. (She tried to re-friend most of my family 2 weeks before on Facebook, she always fidgets with her hair and phone if I'm around, and she puts a decent amount of perfume on if I'm near) What does that mean after a relationship ended 6 months ago? It's been bothering me all week. I will say I put the clamp down when I broke it off. No contact, no acknowledgment, etc. The main reason I broke it off was her controlling mom. Then in turn I was usually fighting with both of them, and I couldn't do it anymore. I start missing her, but I think that's more because I haven't been able to find anyone to date yet. I am numb right now, it seems like every time I turn the corner, I take 2 steps back a couple of days later.

Today I knew I was going to see her, didn't care, was ready. I once again noticed that she put the perfume on and would occasionally look in the mirror to "fix" herself. However, when she walked by me, she would look the other way. She continuously fidgeted with her hair. I snuck a few looks, and caught her looking at me with short looks, she didn't see me. Well once again, I thought I would be the better man. When I left I wished everyone a "Merry Christmas" I then lastly said Merry Christmas to her. She responded with just "Bye." (which is better than what was before) Well here's what sucks. I felt great all day. I thought, "I'm good" Once I left, I sunk, right now I'm numb... not really sure how I feel. I'm still attracted to her despite trying to convince myself that I'm not. I wish I could just forget this and move on, or know what she is feeling.

Have to admit, today I feel terrible. Saw a FB update with her photo taken and she looks great, happy. She's posting stuff all throughout the night which is weird. She never stayed up past 12, now she's posting stuff at 4 am. It doesn't appear that she's dating although maybe she's just keeping that under wraps. I won't lie. I'm devastated. I thought I needed to break it off, but I was good to her (not perfect) and I thought that she might realize and work it out. She's almost 30, but it's weird, she's acting like she's 22. I do not understand how I feel so bad, and she seems so great, it's killing me.

I guess I'm wondering what I should do. The relationship was good, but bad too. I could never answer if she was the one. Her ma and I had terrible problems, and I truly believe her ma ripped the relationship apart,exactly what she wanted. My ex came into our place after the breakup and took all the valuables that were both of ours, she cleaned me out, and left me with junk. I put no contact in July, tried two weeks ago, as you can see by the posts above. I've gotten into shape, lost 34 lbs, lift weights, volunteer at homeless shelters and have found other ways of improving my life. Problem is she looks great now too, absolutely beautiful. She's doing new stuff too, stuff she's never done before. I think I really do miss her, and I can't read the signs she's giving (read above posts) She asked me to stay at a distance, and give space.

My question is, what is my next move? She didn't like me saying hi to her, she ignores me, I emailed her in response that night just saying that I wasn't trying to work us out, but thought that we should be ale to say hi to each other, etc...

I feel terrible. I'm questioning the entire time if I loved her, and now I think it's settling in that I truly do. I'm torn here.

talaniman · Dec 25, 2011, 02:48 PM

You have no next move with her but for yourself. You start NC all over again, and don't break it.

That's all you can do, and stay of Facebook.

breeze85 · Dec 25, 2011, 02:51 PM

Yeah, I know your right... and that's out of respect for her wishes?

talaniman · Dec 25, 2011, 03:12 PM

No, out of protecting a broken heart, and healing, so you can recover your confidence, dignity, and some self respect, and move beyond this experience, to make better decisions, and find happiness with out her in your life.

Its all about you, and what you do for yourself, and no loner matters what she is doing, thinking, or wanting from you.