[crystalmae]

What Else but Friends
You make my heart stop with whatever you do
I melt every time you try to start a conversation with me, but you will never understand the feelings you have brought into my life
I act so stupid when we talk, you mention my name and my heart skips a beat.
My mind says girl just go for it what do you have to lose while my heart says just wait your time will come
We have been childhood friends ever since preschool our moms brought us to the park and you would push me on the swing
Whenever I was sick u would hold my hair back like the nice man you are then you try to lighten the mood by telling me my breath smells and I just laugh because I know that you're just playing around
When I have a bad day and I need someone all you have to do is pull me into your comforting arms until I relax you hold me until I fall asleep
In my dreams I think that this is where I want to be for the rest of my life.
When I wake your smile is the first thing I see it warms me up your smile is, so white, so radiant, so pure
Then one day on one of my bad days when I woke to your flashing smile then like always you sealed it with a gentle kiss to my forehead to let me know it's all right
My mind is in agony it can't take it anymore but my minds not the boss my heart is and this time my heart knew dame well that it was time
I gave him a sweet smile back I gently wrapped my arms around him and pulled him down slowly till his lips met mine
We stayed like that for a few and I cherished every second of it, my heart and mind are both out of control my mind will never forget this moment and my heart well hasn't my heart has yet to stop pounding
I know he is feeling the same thing he was the first to break away I was embarrassed at first but then
He looked at me with those green eyes of his and those eyes said what took you so long then he leaned back in for more
What an idiot I mustve felt, all this time he really like me and not just as friends but in his mind there was more he was waiting for me to make the first move
Years go by and were stronger than ever and I still love him more than anything in this world

[Wondergirl]

Why do you switch from "you" in the first half to "him" in the second half?

[crystalmae]

Truw thanks

[panda2913]

There are a couple of run-on sentences, they don't need to be fixed but I did notice them, like in line 5&6.
In line 9 you do "u" instead of "you"
In line 17, you need a comma after day & days.
3 lines from the end: Maybe you should do: What an idiot I must of felt! All this time, he really liked me. Not just as friends, but there was more. He was waiting for me to take the first move.
Maybe you should add on to the end something that implies he died. Build onto that sentence towards the ending. Still, keep that last sentence as the ending if you do do that.
I'm being very hard on you, from my point of view. Don't take it personally. Overall, I like the idea of the poem, but the wording could be altered a little bit. Maybe once you're done with it, you could enter it in a competition! There's a great website called www.writersdigest.com.
Bye!

[poet31]

The subject matter/content is good. Some of it is very good. It needs some technical work: structure changes, grammar, punctuation, etc. You should also consider rephrasing certain things. I'll give you an example in how I would deal with the first couple of lines:

What else but friends?
Tell me.
You make my heart stop--
Melting me.

You need to keep working, editing, revising, revising, and revising. Always use paper. And save every revision.