[angelxclaudia]

Me and my partner have been together a year. He has been in university for nearly 2 months. I live around 2 hours away on the train. It was decided between me and him that we must keep on top of our work, if not we aren't allowed to see one another till we have. We plan weekends together to motivate us to work harder so we can see each other. I thought that was a reasonable plan. However his parents don't see it in the same way.

I came up for a weekend (first visit since he has been to university) and we didn't inform his parents because we both knew how they'd react. He didn't want to upset them with me visiting. However they find out I was down there. They said they I have to get permission (his dad said to me on the phone - You aren't allowed to visit him unless I give you permission.. I agreed on the spot to scared to fight my point of view or to get my boyfriend in even more trouble than he already was) I couldn't believe it, I had to get permission off them to go and see him. He's a grown man, they should really have enough trust in us, especially him. They have also said I'm only allowed to see him once a month. It's really got to me. It's such a strange situation to be put in.

I like his parents they treat me with respect and they aren't nasty to me. I understand completely that they are paying for his education and that they want him to have the best start in life. However I think they are going to the extreme. My boyfriend won't do anything about it. He's to scare to and wouldn't pick me over his parents. He has told me that he won't go behind his parents back. This means no secret visits.

His parents don't think I'm suited for their son. No one is going to be good enough for their son. They asked him to leave me... that hurt me a lot when I found out. He said no to them though.

I'm confused. He means the world to me. I can't let him go; it isn't an option in my eyes. I can't make him stand up for us, and I certainly can't myself that would just make the situation worse.

I think it's weird how they see him through rose tinted glasses. When telling me off on the phone for lying to them about visiting him his dad said to me "my sons have never lied to me before...." However that is a load of rubbish. I've known my boyfriend to lie to his parents. I'm the bad guy. Which in their eyes I would be. I'm a distraction in their eyes. That is understandable.

I admit we were wrong to lie to them. The lie lasted 10 minutes till I felt bad and rang them explaining and saying how sorry I was for lying. I figured they knew I was lying because they rang my mum asking after me. Sigh.

I don't know what to do; I can't see my boyfriend because of his over protective parents. My boyfriend won't see me cause of his parents. It feels so unfair. I don't know what to do. Do I just put up with it?

I just want some advice. It's making me ill. I can't sleep and function very well because of it. It's on the front of my mind all the time. It's depressing and I'm really surprised about how bad it has affected me.

[talaniman]

He still depends on his parents so understand he has few options. Don't compete with them, just play by the rules, as they are very strict about his future. Saying you understand is a lot easier than actually doing it, and as frustrating as it is, being apart is the way it will be for a while.

Communicate, and have some fun with friends until the break. Aren't you in school too?