[Lionheart1980]

Met this girl 3 months ago. Started officially being boyfriend and girlfriend a month ago. She's been saying that I'm cold, and not affectionate enough and I don't tell her how I feel. I have been trying to fix this issue. She also had a bit of a wall up, because she got hurt previously.

Anyway she had broken up with her boyfriend 3-4 months before we met, I was a bit unsure because I thought I'd be the rebound guy, but she was always saying that she is over him. He cheated on her, and treated her like crap. Anyway that was only when we spoke about our past relationships.

We had our 1 month anniversary, and had sex for the first time that night, she was telling me how much of a big deal it is for her, and she didn't want to just have sex with just anyone unless she was sure. My ex called me, and I told her that I was with someone. Her ex called her, and she told him she was happy, and with someone. This only happened 2 days ago. We've been officially together 1 month, but known each other for 3, spent a lot of time together.

I wrote her poems, and told her how I felt so did she. She even said she sees a future with me, and that I'm different to all her ex's. She would get upset though if I took my time calling back, or if my SMS were short.

2 days after we had sex, which was our one month, she turns around and says that she's confused and needs a break. I was shocked cause the day before she was saying how much she misses me.

AM I waisting my time? What do I do? I sent her an SMS after that conversation, which was over the phone mind you, saying that her ex possibly has gotten into her head, and has done a good job of it. I told her I saw a future with her, and couldn't believe she done a 360 on me. We even had a ski trip planned, and I just canceled it today. We were suppose to leave in 10 days, I told her I was canceling the trip. She was fine with that. We just went shopping for ski equipment 3 days ago spent all this money.

Anyway, am I wasting my time with this girl, or is she just trying to test me, and see if I will chase her?



Edited/T

[talaniman]

I don't know what she wants guy, sorry can't read minds, nor am I a psychic. I do know that you can't make her confusion yours, and she did ask for a break.

Normally, I say give her what she asked for, but since she shows signs of not being completely thrilled with your style, unaffectionate, and cold, and maybe having second thoughts after having sex, then maybe she wants more attention from you, but beware of playing that game. If you chase a female like this, then she will always be putting you through games to make you chase her some more.

I have to be honest, maybe you guys moved to fast, and maybe indeed you were a rebound, but none of that matters because she asked for a break, and that means leave her alone.

It's a red flag when a partner is confused, and needs a break, instead of using some honest communications to resolve issues, or at least keep you in the loop of her thoughts and actions.

You can try and play her game and see where it goes, but just me... give her what she asked for, OVER THE PHONE, a break. Its not a good sign when there is confusion, or drama in the first 3 months of knowing each other.

[Lionheart1980]

Tt

[Lionheart1980]

I been speaking to other girls about it and some of them reckon that she did this purposely to hurt me back and get a reaction out of me cause she had a tendency of doing that e.g if I took time to sms her she would take even more time just to get me back , also when we had sex just before we did it in the heat of the moment I said to her "we should wait" and she was like wait until when.. I'm like until we go to the snow.. she went all funny then after we did it like 2-3 times.. I went soft a few times which is unusual.. do you think that by that happening I made her feel insecure? Cause straight after she said to me " did u enjoy that" and I was like yeah was good, she's like what's wrong.. and I was like nothing.. the next day or two she was weird and then that's when she told me that she is confused and needs a break.. the day before she also said to me that her ex called and that he's a changed man and this and that.. and she told him she's happy with me and she would never go back to someone like him... the next day she cancells a date with me we were meant to go movies, and then I called her and said what's up she's like I'm confused I need a break and was acting all *****y, I said that it I'm over it there's no break I'm done... I cancelled the trip.. sent her a few text messages had abit of a cry to her saying I was pissed off cause she just shut me out without talking face to face.. she was always complaining to me that she can't compete with other girls I been with and it bothered her also that I watched porn.. I went to her work and said to her look lets talk I want to know what's happening and don't want to waste my time cause I'm constantly thinking of her,. she texted me saying that she shouldn't have rushed into this relationship.. and that I was right on saying that at the beginning I was telling her we should stay friends for a while before anything happens,but she was persisting that she doesn't want to waste her time , so I gave it a go, I went out this Saturday and got drunk.. was sending her pics and sending messages to her. the next day she was angry and said she wants the money back for the snow trip.. I miss the girl luckily I didn't fall in love with her but it hurts cause I honestly believed that something strong could have developed from this.. what do you think about this situation.. should I chase her or not?

[talaniman]

Hell No! Chase her for what? You can't even communicate properly with this female, so what are you chasing her for? Look, the lust has faded, and there is nothing left to build on. Back up guy, and look at what's going on, before you decide to run head first into a brick wall, and really do some damage to yourself.

Just because you think something can happen later. She obviously doesn't! 99% of humans get along in bed at the beginning. That's easy, but that only gets you so far, and for whatever reason, when you aren't in bed, you don't click very well.

So back up and look at things without the little head,or FEELINGS getting in the way. FACTS my man, FACTS, and they are right in front of your face!

[amicon]

Why chase anyone?
This seams to have been a non-starter from the word go,so stay away and chalk it up to experience.