[ryan260]

I need help with my fiancé. My fiancé and I have been together for 9 years. We have a daughter together. It hasn't always been perfect for 9 years but the good outweighs the bad. We were supposed to get married in October and she told me she just wasn't happy anymore about three weeks ago.

I didn't really get any answers why and after a few days of thinking, talked to her and tried to see if I could point them out. She told me I have a drinking problem,which after being sober since she left, and having a clear mind I know I did.

She said she felt like she did everything for our daughter, and she was tired of getting the silent treatment after going out for the night and coming home. She never once hinted to any of his before she boiled over.

The reason I gave her the silent treatment because I was angry and didn't feel like I got enough time with her and didn't know how to tell her that. We both had problems with communication. She even told me herself sorry for not opening up. I asked her for one more chance to show her I have changed and to have a happy family with the three of us.

I love her and my daughter more than anything in the world and just want one more chance. I also told her if you know we both didn't give 110 percent lets try one more to see if I can bring those feelings back and if they don't I will be comfortable with that part because I did everything in my power I could. I won't be left with a guilty feeling. I don't want any what ifs, just one more chance.

She said she still loves me but more or less don't know how to handle it. She also feels awkward with the situation because of how she left. We have never split at all in nine years. Does any have advice what to do?


Edited/T

[talaniman]

Hi Ryan, sorry for your situation. I don't know if all is lost, but since she isn't ready to come back and try again, change your focus to being a good dad, as you stay SOBER, and rebuild your communications as a good partner, and co parent. I think for the next year you concentrate ONLY on that as you build a comfortable working zone, and give you both a chance to see that you can work together. Put the getting back together on the back burner, and put your best dad foot forward.

Hard to imagine how you go 9 years with no communications, but mad drunks are very hard to talk to. So don't push, let her see the good side for a while, and get her confidence in you back.

That's what I would do. She may forgive you and change her mind, she may NOT!