[Survivor07]

I need some third person advice so I don't freak out. My daughter hasn't seen her father in two years. In the past five years she has seen him maybe ten times during supervised visitations with a family therapist.

He has now called the family therapist and wants to see my daughter and is allowed to do so, supervised. (This came up at a child support review hearing. No, he has never paid a dime of support.)

The reason her father and I are divorced and the reason for his absence are his drug addiction issues, refusing to take responsibility and the fact he was abusive while on the drugs. He has been in and out of jail over the past five years. Now he says he is getting it together and is clean. He wants to have shared custody eventually! What? She has a medical condition that needs constant vigilance.

My daughter is eight years old and she knows why her dad has been "absent". She seems interested to meet him.

My question, I guess, is how to deal with this. I know I could drag this out by going to court, but in the end he does have a right to see her and she has a right to know her dad. Is this the right thing, really?

[rebeccahstrean]

From my experiences I would take them to court and have only suppervised vists. Escically if he's still on drugs or you just never know. Then that way if something goes wrong your there or some one else is there so your daughter can't get hurt and if she does then you or that other person will be there for her. I would bring it to court for supervised vists at least she's old enough to want to try to deal with it on her own and you think that its safe to do so. That's my only issue is her.

[jami_toni]

I believe it is the right thing to do, I was in that similar situation when I was younger.
Has the father went to rehab or is cleaned? Or has he ever done drugs while being in visitations?

[Fr_Chuck]

He will win in court for supervised visits, so if that is what he is asking, there is little you can do.

His not paying support does not effect visits, but you should try to take him back to court for enforcement. Also you can go back to court and ask him to pay additional counseling costs for child to deal with his coming and going

[ScottGem]

You posted this in the Children forum, not in the Family Law forum, so I assume you opinions on what people think is the right thing to do, rather than the legal aspects.

From that standpoint I think you have a very good attitude here. People can change and a parent has the right to know their child and vice versa. But you also have to protect your child. I gather that he currently has only supervised visitation ("wants to see my daughter and is allowed to do so, supervised"). As long as that is the case, then you let him have his rights but make sure he is monitored. He will have to go to court to change his visitation and will need to prove that he is capable. So I believe your daughter is protected at this point.