[chemicalkidx3]

Hey everyone. I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense. A year's worth of stuff is hard to type out, and I have mixed feelings about this situation. Bear with me here (:

I was in a relationship for 9 months with my best friend when he broke up with me about 6 weeks ago. Apparently, I was being "obsessive and controlling", he needed "space", and he felt "smothered by me". There were NO warning signs before the breakup. I would ask him how he felt, what he thought, etc. and he'd always say he was fine. I gave him space. We didn't even talk daily. Throughout us being together, he was so happy and loving.

After the breakup, he admitted that he thought I "intimidated" him and he only acted like things were perfect because he was "giving in". This can't be completely true. We were always pretty equal in the relationship. He did make all the first moves. I'm not one to be dominant or pushy at all. I'm considerate and sensitive to other people's feelings, so how is this fair to me? Everything was great and then one day he just blew up. I'll be honest. I admit I did some things wrong. He became my life, and then I had nothing. That was my mistake. I'm glad I've fixed that now. But seriously, I'm a wonderful best friend and girlfriend. We had an amazing relationship, the envy of all our friends. I know he enjoyed it too. I was so good to him. I know I'm the only girl he's ever had serious feelings for. So why did he break up with me?

Immediately during/after the breakup, I did the absolute worst things I could've done. He'd never leave my mind. We fought every week. I was so pissed, I'd call him constantly. I'd run into him and it'd never end well. I wouldn't leave him alone at all. He broke my heart and he's being a total #^$#$&*! He deserved hell. This went on on-and-off for about a month. I tried to end this vicious cycle cleanly. We both apologized, and he promised he'd call me over the past weekend. Of course, that didn't end well either. I'm tired of being the only one trying. I'm still furious for him being immature and unreasonable. Yet, I miss him (or the person he used to be).

I just want things to go back to the way they were. For the past week, I've been on NC. It's irritating I didn't get to make a good last impression. Despite everything, I still find myself thinking at the end of the day that I want us to be best friends like we used to be (or possibly more than that). I'm terribly hurt and confused. Is it too late for no contact to work? What's he thinking/feeling and what should I do? Thanks in advance(:

[amicon]

Nobody here can tell you why he broke up with you-his feelings changed,and you need to realise that it's over.

You stay with no contact-not to win him back, but to let you heal and so that you can start moving on.

[talaniman]

Amicon is absolutely right. You need to maintain No Contact to heal from the hurt, and accept that his feelings changed, and you will not get what you want from him.

Then you can begin to move on.

[chemicalkidx3]

I still want my best friend back though...