[amyjane77]

I've been with my boyfriend for a year and 2 months and he told me he loved me after 4 months. I said I loved him too a month later. For awhile I use to get butterflys when I saw him and I wanted to be with him all the time, I even considered moving in with him. For a while everything was good, but then we started fighting, he rarely ever takes me out, and doesn't want to do anything but sit around and smoke pot. He doesn't make good money and borrows money from me a lot. For some time now I've been questioning whether I really love him or not or just said it because he said it to me. I don't get butterflies anymore and I just feel that our relationship isn't the same. We have taken breaks but always end up getting back together. Sometimes I'm happy with him and other times I'm not. I really don't know what to do because I'm so torn. I feel like he is more a best friend **** buddy to me than an actual boyfriend who I love. I just don't know how to relay that message to him. Any advice would be extremely helpful

[sharper11]

It sounds like you have made up your mind already. You should let him know how you feel. The "butterfly" feeling usually goes away after the honeymoon stage (9-12 months into a relationship typically) and this is where most relationships get tested.

In your case, it sounds like you aren't really happy, and he hasn't grown up. Talk to him, and see if you can work it out, or end it.

[I wish]

Sounds to me that you've grown apart from each other instead of growing together.

If things don't get better soon, then this relationship is going to end whether you want to or not.

If you can't find a way to re-spark the relationship and find happiness, then you're better off cutting your ties now and finding someone else.

[amicon]

He smokes pot and borrows your money,red flags!

I think you know this isn't going to work so,even though breaking up is always hard-sooner is a better option rather than later.

[mmresd]

Being upfront would be a good start. Why not letting him into your thoughts so that maybe he can understand what you are feelings and maybe change accordingly. But, think, do you really want to be with this guy? He doesn't sound that interesting, in fact not interesting at all, and you are hesitant as to if you want to be with him or not, why not just break it up?

Good Luck,
Javi

[amyjane77]

We did break up only 2 days ago, I couldn't deal with the fighting and the accusing of cheating on him when I never did. I miss him so much though and I did realize I did actually love him but he needed to grow up. I didn't see him going anywhere in life really and that's not what I want from someone if I plan on being with them for awhile longer. This was my first real relationship and my first real actual boyfriend I fell for but I'm only 18, I know I have my whole life ahead of me but I don't feel like I do. Thank you everyone for your opinions they really helped me to move forward

[amicon]

The very best of luck to you,don't worry, you'll be fine!