[kodgkffc]

We've been together for 11 months, nothing wrong with the relationship, and she's broken up with me 3 times, thus far. She can't complain about me, can't find anything wrong with me. Claims I'm the perfect guy for her. Can't give me a direct answer as to what it is I did wrong or what we are missing.

However, after our most recent break up, we never got together and she has asked for space. It's serious this time, she says she doesn't want to be together and that we cannot be in contact for a full week. That failed, I went over yesterday, we went out for supper, had a great time, cuddled, had "fun", and talked about it a bit. The next day she's completely cold again and remains firm on the one week space rule.

She claims she wants to have kids with me, wants to marry me and be with me but tells me she cannot at the moment because she doesn't know what she wants and believes she shouldn't be tied down at her age to one single relationship (this is each others first serious and meaningful relationship).

Why does she want this? Why is she doing this? And why do I have the hardest time giving her space without contact? My life revolved around her, so to come home and not be able to be with her is a complete slap in the face, in the sense where my life is in a disorder.

I know it gets better with time, people say you move on, blah... blah... blah... however I feel as though you can only truly love once. And she's that one true love. I feel as though anyone who follows afterwards (if it happens) would never be the same. She's set the bar, and I don't see it any other way nor do I want it any other way.

She's different with her friends, and never let's me party or be with her when she's with her friends. However, I let her be with mine or do the same with me. She tells me she's also different and admits it, and says she's two different people when she's in a relationship and when she's not. I never deprived her from hanging out with her friends, but it seems like she's lacking that right now and feels as though if anything happens she'll be in a bad position and have no one to turn to.

What am I not seeing that you may see from reading this? I need your input from what you read briefly above. It's not the full story, but enough to understand the situation real quick.

[talaniman]

QUOTE by kodgkffc;
We've been together for 11 months, nothing wrong with the relationship, and she's broken up with me 3 times, thus far. She can't complain about me, can't find anything wrong with me. Claims I'm the perfect guy for her. Can't give me a direct answer as to what it is I did wrong or what we are missing.

But she has dumped you 3 times?? In 11 months?? And you are so perfect and nothing wrong with the relationship?? And you took her back every time?? And have NO CLUE why this keeps happening??

Truly UNBELIEVABLE!!

However, after our most recent break up, we never got together and she has asked for space. It's serious this time, she says she doesn't want to be together and that we cannot be in contact for a full week. That failed, I went over yesterday, we went out for supper, had a great time, cuddled, had "fun", and talked about it a bit. The next day she's completely cold again and remains firm on the one week space rule.

Oh I see, she breaks up and you go into full mode romantic dinner guy, is that the pattern for your other break ups? If it is she learned how to control you very fast.

She claims she wants to have kids with me, wants to marry me and be with me but tells me she cannot at the moment because she doesn't know what she wants and believes she shouldn't be tied down at her age to one single relationship (this is each others first serious and meaningful relationship).

So she doesn't know what she is doing and neither do you. But she does know she can dump you for any reason and get you back whenever she wants.

Why does she want this? Why is she doing this? And why do I have the hardest time giving her space without contact? My life revolved around her, so to come home and not be able to be with her is a complete slap in the face, in the sense where my life is in a disorder.

You have made her a goddess to be worship admired and used for her pleasure. Wonder whose fault that is? Oh of course it was yours, for being treated like a follower to a goddess and allowing a female to dictate your happiness. That's disgusting!! And it ain't love, its more like addiction!!

I know it gets better with time, people say you move on, blah... blah... blah... however I feel as though you can only truly love once. And she's that one true love. I feel as though anyone who follows afterward (if it happens) would never be the same. She's set the bar, and I don't see it any other way nor do I want it any other way.

Are you crazy, or just young and naïve?? If you love yourself first, with dignity and self respect, you will love many that you encounter in your life. One or two may even love you!!

She's different with her friends, and never let's me party or be with her when she's with her friends. However, I let her be with mine or do the same with me. She tells me she's also different and admits it, and says she's two different people when she's in a relationship and when she's not. I never deprived her from hanging out with her friends, but it seems like she's lacking that right now and feels as though if anything happens she'll be in a bad position and have no one to turn to.

That's as poor an excuse for bad behavior as I ever heard. And you allow it, and call this relationship perfect?? COMPARED TO WHAT??

What am I not seeing that you may see from reading this? I need your input from what you read briefly above. It's not the full story, but enough to understand the situation real quick.

You have acted like a wuss instead of a man and become her pet, and when she wants to do other things you wait on the porch until she comes back, or has time to take you for a walk. She has taught you a few tricks, and you obey pretty good, and are house trained well, but still a puppy, and she wants a man!!

Sorry to be harsh my young friend, but you have BS and real life, all mixed up and should disappear from this girls life, and take your leash as a reminder what a lousy thing you have allowed to be done to you. And you have given some good advice on other posts, its just unbelievable.

Just curious as to how old you are?? Please be in grade school, or my faith in adulthood will be shattered.

[sharper11]

This sounds a lot like someone who wants to "be free" but not lose her boyfriend.
It may be your turn to accept the "space" and use the "No Contact Rule". Do not call her, email, text.. etc.. No Contact.

You should not be lead along in a relationship that seems to be going nowhere.

From my experiences in relationships, the girl who is constantly making up breaking up is not the right one.

[sharper11]

Harsh, but true.

[mmresd]

She is not a girl that you want to pusue. In your eyes she is perfect and you are willing to put her before whatever else anyone may tell you because you have made a mistake that all males make at some point. You have based your happiness of her, and you have put her on a pedestal. When a girl breaks up with you, you are supposed to accept her decision and let her miss you by you losing completely contact with her, so that she feels the consecuences of her decision. However, because of your desperation you probably ran after her and let her call all the shots. She is young and doesn't know what the h3ll she wants. But it is obvious that while she figures it out she wants to do whatever she wants to do and keep you there as back up, because sadly, she has you wrapped around her little finger. So, if you are wondering why this is all happening to you look in a mirror because YOU are the one that has allowed this behavior from her time an time again. Now, after she is used to playing you, it is hard for her to stop. Stop worrying about her, she will be fine. As far as you go, I would recommend to keep a "no contact" rule with yourself FOREVER. This girl obviously doesn't value you, so go out there and find someone who does. Don't worry, at first it may seem like no other girl will have the ability to make you feel the way this one has, we have all had that feeling in the past, and most of us more than once, but give it time and you will see that this girl really meant nothing compared to the future relationships that you will have.

Good luck,
Javi