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Pillar1005 · Oct 4, 2010, 03:11 PM

Her and I really like each other, but she wants me to change a lot of things about myself to fit her needs. She comes from a very loving family and I don't, so she expresses her frustration at me for that often. She's also best friends with someone who used to be my worst enemy, and won't choose between us. She is constantly telling me that I need to appreciate her humor (which is nearly always mean-spirited and at my expense), and that I'm not fun to be around.
However, she also says things like I'm her missing puzzle piece, and that she wants to get married and that she loves me. I have absolutely no clue what's true and what isn't. What do I do?

Enigma1999 · Oct 4, 2010, 03:21 PM

Hello Pillar,

I don't believe in changing myself to be with someone. As I wouldn't want them to change for me. Now, I can understand that if you weren't a drinker before we hooked up, then after being together you started, then yes I could see asking you to change that if it were out of control.

Did she know this all about you before you two became boyfriend/girlfriend?

Her humor, you say, is mean and directed towards you. How so?

Also, how long ave you two been together?

jan100 · Oct 4, 2010, 06:08 PM

I'm not exactly how mean spirited she is, but I was in a somewhat similar relationship. But it was the other way around. He was the one that seemed to be a little more sarcastic than I would appreciate.

At the end, I ended it for myself because I felt I deserved better and realized that either he accepts me for who I am or not. Of course, if there were things that really bothered him and I felt the need to change a few habits- that alone would not be a problem.

But if you feel the other person is trying to change who you are and the other party unwilling to do the same for you... wellll... then it doesn't seem like it is going anywhere.

I've been there and I was fed up with his requests and critical jokes.

talaniman · Oct 4, 2010, 09:34 PM

If someone wants to change you, they care more about what they want, than who you are, and that's a recipe for disaster, and I recommend you set some boundaries, and learn to tell her no, or she will make you into a toy she can play with as she wishes. Her and her friend. Sounds like they are playing a game at your expense any way and you just ain't paying close attention.

If your already tired of it, LEAVE!