[kregge1319]

My 6 yr old son lies, steals, is very disruptive in class, and won't listen to my fiancée at all. He is in kindergarten and has been moved to a desk by himself, threatened with suspension for hitting kids and I have had several conferences with his teacher and guidance counselor. The school suggested I medicate him, however I do not want to go that route however I am at my wits end. Until last year, he has been with me in whatever daycare I worked for. I am not sure if the change of me not being able to spend as much time with him and the birth of his sister (she is 20 months now) has caused this change or if he has ADHD or another disorder. Please help me!!

[redhed35]

I have to say me personally am against medication just for a quite life ( the school) until he has been fullly assessed.

Your first port of call is your doctor who will be able to guide you to your next step.

His behaviour could be a result of one or many issues, there are many factors that need to be taken into consideration before a child so young is medicated, there are also many behaviour management techniques that could be used to help with his behaviour.

There is only so much information you can gather online. you need a professional to see your son.

I can understand your very worried, with the information you have given my advice is start with your local doctor and let them guide you to the right people that can best help your son and you to deal with this.

[kregge1319]

I have made an appointment with his pediatrician for next week.

[redhed35]

That's a great start, push for a full assessment, you're his mother and you're his voice, I hope everything goes well.

Checking into his diet is also worth looking at.

Write a list of a questions for the doctor, its easy to forget something is the mist of things.

Perhaps keeping a food diary from now until then may help, also writing down any behaviours on a day to day basics ( difficult I know with a young baby and a house to run) but it may give you the bigger picture into why he is behaving as he is and also may point out any triggers that your missing.

Log bedtime,school and others activities, go into that meeting armed with everything you can to help them help your son.

[Jake2008]

Red is right on the money on this on Kregg.

I admire you for not taking the easy way out and medicate your child without first having a proper and full evaluation by a qualified professional.

A young child is too often seen as and assessed simply by their behaviours, and little is done to identify what the causes are. Medicating him right off the bat will slow him down, but does little to address what's going on with him.

Don't settle. If I've learned anything in this lifetime, it is to never take anything at face value. Don't let anybody stop you from being informed, and educating yourself, and never, ever give up.

Because he is so young, this is a great opportunity for you to make your own assessment based on what you are learning, and then chart a course of action.

All the best of luck to you.

[jenniepepsi]

Defintely get an assessment.
But I also wanted to say, and I hope I don't offend you because I don't KNOW if this is the case. But this is typical behavior of 6 year old who isn't discaplined at home. Is it possible you have been letting him run the house? Let him hve his way and do what he wants? Even if its just a little.

Good luck hon. First step is doctor :)

[southamerica]

Just know that I'm not a mother, and this is third party information that I'm giving.

My coworker has a 6 year old who has had some really big problems in school. She will get calls from school about him hitting, mouthing off, and not paying attention. They have moved him to a different school as a result (thinking it might not have been a good match school-wise) and he did the same thing at the new school.

Finally they took him to a behaviorist. The behaviorist said that the child was acting out because what he got in return is attention. Not that his parents ignored him, per se, but when he misbehaved ALL of the spotlights were on him. Moving him to a new school was "positive" attention to the child.

For her son in particular, he was used to getting something by acting out (going home from school early, going to a new school, getting to see mom and dad). Now they're trying a new approach where misbehaving means you get a specific punishment (e.g. going to your room, time out, etc), not attention. So far my coworker says her son is behaving so much better.

That's just one story though, and as long as you speak up for your son and make sure his pediatrician gives a thorough review, I'm sure you'll get to the bottom of the causes of his behavior. I really applaud you for not wanting to medicate him!