[dmoceri]

Hey guys I know you get these questions all the time. I'm really just looking for some advice and support.
The details:

Me and my ex had been going out seriously since my senior year in high school. We got along very well and had a lot of fun. I am a year older than her so I started college the year after. Fast forward a year and she decided that despite the price for her and her family she wanted to attend the school I go to. I have a good scholarship but she doesn't. I never forced her to come to this school but she wanted to. Now comes the worst part. Everything was going fine through her first year and even the fall semester. Winter recess was great we hung out with friends as well as some good dates, no signs of any problems at all. Now classes started again the third week of January and due to class and work schedules we could only see each other maybe once a week. We even are taking a class together, some basic music class to meet a requirement, we thought that would be a good idea to see each other. Valentines day came and I went to her house brought her flowers and a card, but that was it. We were both really busy with school work so I had planned to do something special that weekend (feb 18th). Well the day before Feb. 17th after our class together she pretty much sat me down out on a bench in front of the school and said that she needed space. I didn't do so well with this and pleaded a little bit to reconsider. No luck, and we couldn't talk long because I had to get to work. That was 3 weeks ago.

The first week was very rough for me and I made the mistake of not keeping up with N/C. I broke down and texted her a lot, she responded with "I need space" again. And the next week after class I asked to talk and did more breaking down. Since then I have calmed down a little. Every now and then I send her a friendly text, and I haven't brought up the relationship since we last talked.

My real question is, what should I do, I haven't gotten a clear answer yet as to why she just decided after almost 4 years of being together with no problems she wanted out. I just feel really depressed. We did so much together and everything reminds me of her.

[talaniman]

Hard to explain why feelings change, but for whatever reason, they just do. Be it first time being away from home to wanting to explore this brave new world, to all kinds of pressure with school and uncertainty with the future.

You probably will never understand her change in feelings, until you yourself have the experience of not wanting to continue with a long term partner.

The quicker you accept it, and make the adjustments to get beyond it, the better. Break ups happen all the time, and they suck! Welcome to adult reality.

[dmoceri]

Thanks for the answer talaniman. I feel like it just happened so fast. One minute we were celebrating our birthdays, they were in the beginning of januar and the next its like I don't even want to talk to you. Its hard to find something to do that doesn't remind me of her.

[talaniman]

For a while, it will be very hard to adjust to losing those attachments that were so great before. Puts you into shock some what.