[sambilly]

Its better to get rejected then to have never tried at all. Its always OK to just lay your feelings out on the table buy if you feel she has been around and all that then she could not be for you then.
If you feel she is one of those girls who just won't take you seriously then maybe you should find someone your own age.
It may not seem like 5 years is much of a difference but it is. She still has a lot of growing up to do and you are at a different place in your life, your getting to the point to where you could see yourself settling down with her or someone and in her mind she could still wanting to have fun.
In my opinion finding someone who is passed all the games is your best choice.
It almost seems as if you already know she is going to say no, don't give up hope, what you could do is make her want you, by giving her space and not paying so much attention to her, push her away and she will come back and realize she wants you. Here is a great chance for you, try to spend time with her on new years eve if she is busy then that means she will be spending it with another man, also if she is not and says yes, kiss her at 12am then you know she wants you.
The new year is a great time to start new friendships and end old ones.
Good luck.

[L85]

Thanks for the advice sambilly

I know what you mean about the age thing if I cast my mind back to when I was 20 all I wanted to go out and do is party which is exactly what she does all the time, I've already had serious relationships and even lived with my last girlfriend for 4 years so your right I know we are looking for different things.

I think what I'm going to do is when she goes back to uni in a few weeks just try and cool down the contact and then at least if she does care she will make the effort to contact me or something along those lines maybe? Think this will be a little harder actually doing though.

Im already seeing her on new years eve but with lots of other people, she always acts differently when there are other people about which I find very strange. We do spend a lot of time together on out own and it seems very different... maybe because my step sister is one of her best friends.

I don't know maybe she does just want to be friends but my fiends tell me I'm probably in the 'friend zone' but I'm not quite shore about that because it just seem different with her. I keep trying to force myself to stop having these strong feelings but I just can help it. I know she is bad for me because all the storys I hear about her.

Any more advice would be great..
Thanks

[I wish]

She just wants to have fun and nothing serious. She doesn't want to be tied down. She already made it clear that she just wants to be friends, which is what she's trying to do with you, be friends.

If you can't handle that type of arranagement, then you're better off blocking her out of your life so that you don't hold on to so much false hope.

She already knows how you feel, if she wanted something to happen, she would make it happen, you wouldn't be left hanging out to dry trying to figure her out.

[L85]

Right I am going to try and simplify this the best I can...

Im 25 and I met this girl about 2 years ago who is 20, we get on ridiculously well and have been quite close over the last few years. Now the problem is I have fell for her bigtime, and I can't stop thinkng about her. This is where it gets complicated...

We have got together a few times if you know what I mean but when this happens she goes quite on me and it sends me crazy, one minute we are talking every day for months (text, email, phone etc ) she is at uni at the mo and I've even been up to see her and stuff like that. Thing is I think she like playing the field as I always here about here and other guys which really hurts me but I know that is something between us it just never seems to go anywhere because as soon as it does she goes quiet on me and goes out with other guys again.

For example last weekend I ended up going round her house on a Saturday night for a few drinks with her and her family then I ended up staying the night everything was great then ever since then she's been out clubbing with this other guy and going cold on me, yet we still speak a little but I know give it another month ans she will start talking to me all the time again.

I really don't know what to do, she knows how I feel but keeps playing these games with me and I can't handle it. Ive got a great job my own place but I feel rubbish all the time because of this, I can't concentrate at work I can't sleep at night all I think of is when I'm with her how great it is. Im starting to not go out an socialise because I feel so down and just sit here wondering if she's going to stop talking to me forever or if she will talk to me again.

Im starting to crack up, I know I need to forget her but she's just a big part of my life I feel empty when the thought comes into my mind about us not getting on anymore and me then finding out she has a boyfriend or something it will kill me :(

Help...

[I wish]

If she already knows how you feel, it would be up to her to reciprocate. However, she already let you know that she doesn't want the same thing you want. So the problem is that you are having a difficult time accepting the truth.

If she really wanted to be with you, you would be the first to know.

If you really want to get over her properly, then I suggest 100% no contact. Check out the no contact threads in my signature.

Every time you talk to her, you are giving yourself false hope which is dragging out the pain.