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Deanna919 · Feb 18, 2011, 01:06 PM

My ex-boyfriend has agreed to give up his parental rights to me. I have been wanting this for a long time because he really has not tried to be in my daughter's life and he has neglected to pay his child support for over a year even though he has a part time job that gives him $500 a month and he has no other bills and lives rent free in his girlfriend's home. He is an unsuitable father who is bi-sexual and has been selling his body for money through criagslist. He is also gang affiliated and has a drug problem and is mentally unstable. He has threatened my life and has harassed me in the past and was convicted of this through the state of North Carolina. He was also arrested about a year ago for hitting his then current girlfriend even though it was dismissed because she dropped the charges. Do you see any reason what-so-ever that the judge in Raleigh, NC would stop him from giving up his rights?

smoothy · Feb 18, 2011, 01:10 PM

Yes... because then you would expect the states taxpayers to support the kid and he would get out of any responsibility for it.

That's just ONE of many reasons the courts don't take away Parental rights haphazardly. Nor would they do it based on the word of one person... particularly one with reason to be hostile. Even if the accusations are proven to be true. And you had better be careful making those claims... unless you can back them up with proof. He might file suit against you and win. Its called Defamation and Libel, Slander if you have been telling others as well.

Unless he has repeatedly threatened the child's life... physically abused them, or unsuccessfully tried to kill them... they odds are pretty remote they would terminate his rights.

Deanna919 · Feb 18, 2011, 01:14 PM

Smoothy,
I have never been on public assistance and will not try to get assistance after his rights are taken if that happens. I am a college graduate with a full time job. Please don't try to give hateful answers if you have nothing of a legal answer to give.

Deanna919 · Feb 18, 2011, 01:19 PM

I would never make any claims without proof.

Deanna919 · Feb 18, 2011, 01:21 PM

Do you practice law in the state of North Carolina? Not all laws are the same for ever state.

smoothy · Feb 18, 2011, 01:24 PM

You don't have to be... the point is if you ever did try to in the future... they couldn't go aft him to pay his share FIRST.

And if you don't think that situation hasn't occurred in your state alone thousands if not hundreds of thousands of times with others in your same situation... then you are deluding yourself. There are a LOT of single moms on public assistance with deadbeat dads. And the State can and does go after them to get it too.

No parental rights = no parental responsibilities.

Second... if you want to only hear what you want to hear... then you shouldn't be asking others. When you ask on a public forum... you don't get to dictate who can answer or what they can say... thats the way it is.

I don't give "hateful answers" I tell it like it is... without sugarcoating it. HUGE difference.

As far as the claims... your "proof" would have to pass muster in court... and "he said" or "she said" doesn't fly there. Here-say is inadmissible and many people are shocked when they find out where real proof is. Usually when they are on the losing end of a defamation, Libel or Slander case.

And you did make them on-line. If they can be tracked to you... they could be subpoenaed to support his case. Hey... just warning you to be careful... do it here... you might do it in front of others. And you do have to be careful what you say about others. And its better to be aware BEFORE you get a summons.

Once its in cyberspace... you have no control and it will always be out there.

Its happened to lots of people... and it will happen to lots more.

And like I said... you are going to have to PROVE it in court if you expect to ever try to get those rights revoked... and lie on the stand under oath... YOU might be the one that's finds themselves in jail for perjury... or give him a reason to file suit against you.

Tread carefully... and think things through, BEFORE taking the next step.

Deanna919 · Feb 18, 2011, 03:13 PM

I appreciate your comments. Again I say, I don't make comments I can't prove. I have tons of proof. I just need to know if it's possible in North Carolina to have rights revoked given the father has given his consent to have them taken. Laws are different in every state.

cdad · Feb 18, 2011, 03:27 PM

Comment on smoothy's post

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I appreciate your comments. Again I say, I don't make comments I can't prove. I have tons of proof. I just need to know if it's possible in North Carolina to have rights revoked given the father has given his consent to have them taken. Laws are different in every state.

The answer remains the same. It is still no. The only way its going to happen is if there is someone to step in and take their place. As with the case of adoption.

You decided to make a child with this person and now your having to live with it. The courts aren't going to allow him to skate away without supporting his child.

ScottGem · Feb 18, 2011, 03:55 PM

You want to be sure, hire an attorney. Here is the NC law:
Grounds for Termination of Parental Rights North Carolina -

The key here is that the law states the court MAY terminate rights. That leaves it up to the discretion of the court. Traditional courts have declined to terminate rights except in extreme circumstances. You said that he hasn't tried to be a part of his child's life. Well the court is then going to ask what you gain by a TPR. Since you appear to gain nothing, it is unlikely you will get one.

Now if you were applying for sole legal custody with no visitation, you might get that. Or, if you have remarried and want your husband to adopt, the court is more likely to grant the TPR to clear the way for an adoption. But based on what you have posted, I think your chances are slim.

A local attorney will know the mode of the local
Family Court. So would be in a better position to advise you of the mood of the court in these matters.

P.S. If you have a follow-up question or info, please use the ANSWER options near the bottom of the page, not COMMENTS.